My name is Carol, and I live in central Missouri. If I had a nickel for every time I started a diet, I would be the richest woman on the planet. I'm the heaviest I've ever been weighing in at 215. J
ust four years ago, I was a svelte 147 lbs., but many things occurred that lead to the regain of weight plus 15 lbs. more.
I'm wondering if I can do this yet again and, honestly, and not too hopeful. I know I shouldn't start out with a negative attitude, but I have had the tools necessary before and haven't gotten the job done. I tend to be very perfectionistic and have an all or nothing attitude which doesn't help.
I can't afford to give up on myself as I know I won't be happy if I stay at this weight.
Any encouragement will be much appreciated and would love to have someone that is interested in emailing daily.
Of course you can do this. Just stay mindful that the road to victory is not about perfection. We all have slip-ups; it's getting right back on track afterwards that is the real victory. If you stay dedicated you will see and keep the results you want
I really think the biggest enemy to weight loss for many of us isn't the food, the cravings or any of the lifestyle changes - it's an all-or-nothing, or perfectionist attitude.
But rarely is that the focus of our efforts. Instead we try even harder to be perfect, and get that much more discouraged when we don't live up to our expectations.
I've been on the diet roller-coaster since I was 5 years old (I'm now 43), and it seems like I've been on a diet more often than I've not (but when I go off - I do that in grand style also and when I go off my food plan, I REALLY go off.
This time has been different. The weight loss has been slower, but without the drama and backsliding. There are a few differences, including some healthy issues and medication issues, but as for the mental part, it's been the perfectionist attitude that I've given up.
Instead of trying to change as much as possible in order to lost as much weight as quickly as possible, I decided to work "backwards." I decided what I was willing (right now today) to add or subtract from my life without regrets. What was I willing to do forever. Those are the changes I started making.
To be honest, at first there was very little I was willing to do or sacrifice, but I started with that. Little or no weight came off, but I started feeling better and decided there were a few more changes I would be willing to make - so I made those, and more weight came off. And the effects of the changes (and my willingness to make changes) has begun to snowball. The more I change, the more I'm willing to change.
Recently, I've hit a plateau, and I have to decide what I'm willing to do to take that next step, but one thing I don't have to do (that I always did in the past) is to start judging and raging at myself for hitting that plateau. If I decide there's nothing else I'm willing to change, then I have to accept that nothing will change. I don't have to get upset and angry at myself, but I do have to decide whether I'm ok with things the way they are.
One thing that has changed as a result, is that I've virtually eliminated binges and backsliding (I'm not talking about occasionally overeating or minor weight fluctuations), because I never feel that ultimate "failed to be perfect" response of thinking "what's the use, I might as well gorge myself today, and start fresh tomorrow, next week......"
I understand the all or nothing attitude because I have it bad. But you can do this and we will all be excited for you as you post your losses! Think positive
what helped me is not thinking that I'm on a diet because in my mind diets have an ending. I'm changing my life one meal at a time. I'm not a serious calorie counter, I just follow the food guide and I'm careful about sauces and all things processed.
but along with that you have to move. learn to love to move. wither its going for a walk or just busting a move while you're cleaning the house, it all helps. and you have to start somewhere.
if you slip up, thats ok. we're all human and it happens. just dust yourself off and start again.
you've come to the right spot to get all the support you need. you can do this!!!
you can do it! but.. its going to be a long and sometimes miserable road. i committed myself to just NOT stopping no matter what, even the weeks where i gain or the months that i stay the same. even if nothing is happening, you have to plug along and know that it will pay off eventually!
Carol, I'm 50+ with a history of yo-yo dieting. You absolutely can do this! Really. I'm also a perfectionist.
Thus, my best advice (read my goal story for more), is to realize that you need to change your lifestyle. No weght/time goals. No competitions with yourself to lose weight.
Just make a few changes that you CAN manitain from NOW ON.
Carol--I bet the majority of us have had similar experiences. In fact, I am willing to bet that it is rare that someone fully succeeds the first time they try to lose weight. So, rest assured, you are not alone.
Take it one day at a time (total cliche, I know, but so true). Good luck on your journey; you can do it.
Yes, you can do it, Carol!! Welcome!! You can make some goals and we can all help each other stick to them. The goals can be small and "imperfect," but it all adds up. It's different for everyone, but for me it helps if I focus more on things I want to do, rather than not do. Adding more veggies and healthy foods, taking a walk every day-don't worry too much about everything all at once. And reading the success stories (and the struggles, too) of everyone here has really helped me to think positively, even when I slip. Especially when I slip. You can SO do this!
Can I dothis?
