[GradStudent2010]

Dear Forum,

I initially started out here back in September of last year. Three posts later, I disappeared. I guess I was just a forum commitment-phob back then.

It is 11 months later now and I have rediscovered this place as a whole different person, literally. I have discovered that I am fully capable of turning my life around for the better...and not only am I 78lbs lighter (so far) but I am also 100 times happier! It is amazing how great it is to shed away the physical, psychological, and emotional stress of unwanted pounds.

So, here am I again...hopefully, ready to commit to the forum this time, the way that I have committed to altering my entire life. I am not finished on my own weight loss journey quite yet. But months ago, I was hoping that I could come here to find some inspiration. Now I am hoping I can become someone else's instead (or better yet, we can make it mutual). Trust me, I was nearly 300lbs...so I know it's cliche but if I can do, anyone can. Oh. My. God.!. Greatest decision I ever made in my entire life.

[Onederchic]

Welcome back!!

Hugs
Michelle

[wanttobethinandtrim]

i'm new here and hoping this will be one other factor in helping me lose weight.it's so hard.but you must feel amazing.good for you and keep up the good work.welcome back.

[Liliann]

Welcome back!! Great post and great job on your 78 Lbs loss!!! Keep it up!

[SugarHabit]

GradStudent, would you mind sharing what your journey has been like in losing those 80 lbs??

How did you handle it mentally & emotionally?

[GradStudent2010]

Originally Posted by SugarHabit

GradStudent, would you mind sharing what your journey has been like in losing those 80 lbs??

How did you handle it mentally & emotionally?

I feel a tad bit bad now because it seems like it was overly easy to actually lose it (this time) -- I just had to want it, whereas I don't think I was really ready in the past. I previously saw 'weight loss' only in the negative. It would mean that I couldn't eat foods that I liked anymore or that I wouldn't be able to go out to restaurants as often, and I'd have to workout in intimidating gyms, etc...

The first substantial change to my outlook was becoming a vegetarian. By no means did this result in some amazing or immediate weight loss. Maybe I even got fatter at first, I can't be certain...but as being vegetarian doesn't necessarily eliminate french fries, soft drinks, cheese, mayonnaise, or a multitude of other "bad for you" foods, it was hardly a cure all. What it did do, however, was make me starting thinking more seriously about where my food was coming from and what goes into making it. From that point of view it was a lot easier to make healthier decisions about all foods in general...I still eat mashed potatoes but they're organic, I don't consume mass produced foods like soda or processed cheese anymore, etc...I will say that I also made the conscious choice not to eat traditional 'diet foods' since they play into my psychological anxieties about weight loss being a negative thing that requires me to deny myself the foods that I like. Instead, I make healthier choices that aren't about certain foods being 'forbidden' but simply that some foods are better for me in terms of nutrition and ethics.

From there the problem was exercise. Thankfully, as one of their "get healthier" gifts a few years ago, some family members bought me a treadmill. Unfortunately, I moved apartments and decided it didn't have a place among my new decor. But with a newfound outlook I was able to move some furniture around to make room. I am so glad for this gift now because, at almost 300lbs, I was not the type of girl who had the confidence to set foot in a gym...despite my desperate need for one. I had to start slow at home but in its own ironic way, I am actually thankful for being so large because it meant that at the beginning I lost quite a bit of weight quickly without having to jog miles at a time...and I am the type of person whose psychology demands that they see results in order to continue.

The other major change was the fact that I moved internationally in the midst of trying to lose weight. Where for some people the added stress might have pushed them off the wagon --- in my case, I thrive under pressure. It has always been boredom that thwarts my weight loss ambitions. A more tangible benefit to me in this move, however, was the fact that I sold my car. I am now a firm believer that the automobile is one of the worst things to ever happen to human health. I live in a city where everyone complains about late trains and crammed trams...but I live for public transit now! Not having a car has made me walk distances I never would have before (even short ones). It has even had the effect of making me choose more carefully what to buy at the grocery store because I have to be able to carry it home in two hands instead of a car trunk. I can no longer believe how often I would get in the car back in Canada just to go to the grocery store or pharmacy rather than take the 10 or 15 minute walk. Ugh, so ashamed of myself on that one.

Needless to say, the weight loss has boosted my confidence enough that now I can step inside a gym. Of course, I was pretty picky about which one because I still don't have the attitude to be in a place with all the young, perfect, muscle-ly types. So, instead I go to a public gym with old people, young people, business and uni-types all mixed together...and the diversity is a big help to feeling at ease. It's easy to feel a bit more comfortable when the woman next to me on the bike is my grandma's age.

Fortunately, I am also a hyper competitive person and exercise has wormed itself into my life through my need to be the absolute best at anything I try. I am constantly updating my boyfriend on how much weight I've lost this week, how much further I jogged, how much faster I can run now, what new equipment I tried, etc...etc...

That was a bit novel-worthy in length but it's my story. So far.