I used to be a regular here back in 2007... any of my W.O.W. girls out there? Rockinrobin? Jcatron??

I had reached my goal weight and felt awesome - and then life hit me upside the head:

1) I discovered that my husband, whom I was happily married to, had been cheating on me during our whole marriage - WITH MEN.

2) I got injured from running - stress fractures in both tibia - so it took the wind out of my exercise motivation.

3) I beat myself up trying to make my marriage work (looking back, incredibly stupid of me).

4) I filed for divorce in November, it was final in February, but financial circumstances have forced me to live with this man, and each day I have to spend in that house erodes my self-esteem (I'm moving out in 2 weeks, thank G-d!!!).

So - after all that drama, I gained back approximately 20 of the 60 pounds I'd lost. Not a horrible regain... but it makes me feel just awful. The shame is terrible; I'm a walking disaster, emotionally. I'm crying right now. I miss the motivational powerhouse that I used to be.

I admit that I need the help and support of this group. It helped me tremendously before, and I'm ready to start over. I'm looking forward to getting into my new house, starting my new life, and getting my health back under control.

So... I guess that's it.

Thanks, everyone.

Hi Rowdybliss... I wasn't here in 2007 so I don't remember you, but I just wanted to say hi and give you a You've had a terrible time. Thank goodness you're back with only 20 to lose, though - good decision! In no time flat the motivational powerhouse will be back. Here's to the new house, the new life, and good health!

Wow, Yikes, oh my goodness. Sounds like you have been busy. Welcome home. RockinRobin is still here, shoot her a pm.

Sorry you have had such a hard time, but seriously, I am very proud that you have gone through such turmoil and have not regained all plus. That really is an accomplishment. You can nip this in the bud. Hang in there.

Oh my dear friend. I responded to your PM a bit ago and I am first seeing this now. I will say this - it answers some of the questions that I asked you.

Honey, I am SO sorry for all that you've been through. I just can't believe it. But if I my memory serves me well and I think it does as far as you're concerned, you are one smart and tough cookie and you will most certainly get past this and come out on the very tippy top.

I also commend you for only having to deal with a 20 lb gain through all this craziness. You are one strong and determined young lady. You will get to that wonderful place again. Go easy on yourself. You've been through a terrible ordeal. New and wonderful things are ahead of you as you move forward from here. The "old" you will be back before you know it. Only wiser and stronger - and happier.

Thanks, everybody...

I am kind of in full-on freak-out mode right now... I guess I've hit that place where I've just had enough of feeling... not whole. You know what I mean? Day after day, week after week, month after month of just not caring what happens to me anymore... such an awful feeling, and certainly not characteristic of me at all. I guess you could probably call it depression, but I didn't go to a doctor and get diagnosed or anything like that.

I am just at that point today. I've finally hit the point of not wanting to sink anymore. I'm tired of feeling gross, I'm tired of hating myself for everything that's happened, I'm tired of feeling disillusioned and alienated and worthless and all that other crap that goes along with rejection. I've decided that today, from now on, things are going to be different.

But I feel like I'm on shaky ground, and I'm really afraid of failing. Like, REALLY afraid. On the heels of the past year, I'm not sure I can withstand more failure. I used to be able to roll with the little setbacks that come with weight loss, but I am so scared that I'm not going to be able to bounce back like I used to. I totally believe in the resilience of the human spirit... but really, how much more is going to happen to me?!

Ugh. Sorry, I'm ranting.

Oh RowdyBliss, you are not going to fail! You have come through a horrible set of circumstances and as Lori Bell said, it is an incredible accomplishment to have not gained all of the weight back. Stress loves to be fed, we all know it is true!

Words on a screen cannot begin to convey my reaction to the news of what has transpired. You are a very strong woman and you will persevere!

Welcome back to TFC. I have no doubt that you'll find friendship and support here.

hi, i sent you a pm, but in case you don't see it our new thread for the current WOW is http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/show....php?p=2728182

i'm sure they'll be glad to see you!

we don't know each other yet, but i hope to get to know you better. i'm sorry for the challenges you've dealt with, i can't begin to imagine...but here you are and all we need to do is keep putting one foot in front of the other.

glad you're back, take care,
e.

RowdyBliss, I was not part of the 2007 crowd either. However, I am sorry for your tremendous stress..... and congrats on not gaining more than 20 and an even bigger congrats on stopping it now..... even while feeling bad. You will feel better when you get back into the grove of it. Just remember.... there are some things you cannot change, so why worry so much about them? It only tears you down. Hold your head up, take it one day at a time. Hang in there.

{{{{{SUZ}}}}}

I remember and miss you!!!! In fact, we still copy and paste your intro to the WOW challenges that YOU made!!!! Remember...Women on....what!? LOL

I'm kinda MIA too right now, going through something pretty terrible myself but your strength inspires me to come back too, and get the lovin and the support we both need.

I missed you terribly! I'm glad you're back. I'll pop over to the WOW challenge tomorrow sometime and come clean about my own woes.

Glad you're back, let us help you through this horrible time. You are loved. xo Michelle

(((((MICHELLE!!!)))))

It's times like this where we've got to stick together like never before. Life is so friggin' CRAZY!!! Just when you think you get it all figured out, out comes the curve-ball... I swear, even Lifetime TV movies don't even come close to this kind of drama!

I have to say, talking about the pain sure helps. I feel like a new person tonight - not like it's all better, but I finally feel like I'm stepping towards healing. Baby steps, but forward steps. And it really helps to know you're going to be taking those steps alongside of me, Michelle.

We're gonna beat our "stuff" and get back to being happy and healthy! We CAN do it!

I wasn't here in 2007 but just wanted to chime in. Be gentle with yourself. You've been through a year of trauma and stress and it's to be expected that you've been reeling and have gone a little off track. It's OK, because you're back on track now. I have a sneaking suspicion that you'll feel a lot better once you're out of the house and on your own again. Hang in there and welcome back!