Hello to everyone; I found this site today and am fascinated by all the great information also a little amazed to see that there are other people out there with such similar issues and advice based on experience.

At age 39, I have not been a healthy weight in almost twenty years and I only lost a significant amount of weight once in that amount of time. I am not a yoyo dieter or a dieter at all really. My eating habits are horrible and sometimes I actually end up eating all of a days food in one meal after my blood sugar has finally dropped to the point of headache and mild dizziness and other times I am stuffing some sort of something in my mouth all day long; I need to stop and am ready to commit. This will be my first serious, organized, planned, effort at becoming healthy.

I have been falling into a rut of hermetical behavior since the death of my husband four years ago. As a result of this I now have no friends or any support system in my life, the less I socialize the more I eat badly and gain pounds.

I know it is partly depression, partly PCOS, partly Hashimotos(spell?) thyroid, and partly fear. Some of the fears seam really ridiculous and embarrassing to me when I think about them logically, but they are still affecting me, so I am hoping to see if anyone else has these thoughts and how they deal with them.

Anyway, I think I am ready to be serious about changing my life and becoming healthy. I am the type that needs to analyze everything and plan it out, so I am in the research and planning stage, but I know I need to quickly get to the 'just do it' stage. Just from what I have read today I think I can see how this site will help me get it all together and see results. Thanks so very much to everyone who has made posts to this site, I am grateful for the sense of not being alone.

Sheski!!!!!!

Very sorry to hear about the death of your husband. Nothing will rock you to your core like losing a loved one, you have to re-learn that you are as important to you.. as they were to you... very hard to get mentally...

I was raped and ended up pregnant a little more than six years ago.. much like with the death of my sister...it sent me into an isolated state where I wanted to run and hide... I let it eat me... or rather I ate it- not sure at this point which is which lol No friends, no family support, no *me* support from anywhere... My son is now five and I am just learning, as of this year, that I matter damn it- and I refuse to become a part of the furniture.

I have to research everything, partly because it keeps me from 'trying not to fail' for a week or so more... but also because I want it right- I'm a perfectionist of the highest caliber.

I think it is insanely important for you to understand that you're worth it... and that the struggle, and small set backs... will make you stronger....

So, take a deep breath, first step is to say ok- spikes or huge drops in your blood sugar- aren't healthy, and stop eating once or twice a day... push yourself to take what you normally eat now and stretch it into five portions... don't change what you eat yet- change how you eat Take small steps... and hey- 'Failure to prepare, is preparing to fail" So research is important but I can guarantee you- if you can trust yourself to take a leap- you'll find you in the long run

Best wishes
Rach

Rach,
You could have no idea how much your words hit home for me, thank you so much. I will take your advice to heart.
Thanks again,
Serena

Serena,

Anytime I'm here for you, and going through my own battles as everyone else is here.. Ever need to talk, just msg me

Rach

Hello. Thank you, both Serena and Rach for your posts. You emphasize how important it is to remember that our journey to a healthy weight is about finding ourselves again, and not about the things, events, people around us, or even our own physical setbacks. These are all challenges that give us opportunities to change.

for both of you . . . we are here for you both.

embug-

something that i've always kept with me is the idea that no matter how awful something is, no matter what happens... you will come out on the other end of it, you have no choice in that matter... but you have a choice as to how you end up... it's hard to remember at times but there's nothing you can't handle... it just seems like that at times.

meowee-
that is what I love about this forum, everyone can come here scream out loud and there's always someone listening

Sheski-
You tattooed vixen! jk I have one on my chest, back of my neck, and thigh lol I just looked at your profile My friends mother is a pagan/wiccan who is also a midwife- she does readings and massage therapy! Kindred spirits- lol You will love going into astrology and massage therapy A much more positive way for you to spend your time

Wow, I am soooo not used to anyone listening to me. I am new to these forum things, so I hope all will bare with me while I get used to it and not find my slow responses rude. I am also aware that I have to learn to be less wordy.

embug
"finding ourselves again" - what a great way to put it. That is the essence of all the changes I am trying to make over the next couple years. Finding the woman I was before all life's crap made want to hide in my various little self-imposed prisons. Life is still going to happen, but I want to try going through it as me, so I have to find me

meowee
Thanks for the warm welcome, and what a cute kitty.

bettyred
The tattoo on my neck was gotten when I turned 18 and was still the me I liked, so I still love this tat. One more on my back I don't like as much, but it is okay. I have been a witch since grade school, back then I considered it wicca, but age has made me into an eclectic old hedgewitch. In my late teens I was a massage therapist here in MI and also I used to read tarot cards, but gave it all up for the security of machining. I like to exercise my logical mind and avoided my intuitive mind for far too long, so astrology I think is giving me a comfortable balance of both and massage therapy was always my first natural craft.

I was a little embarrassed for posting so many little messages the other day, because I always feel like I am intruding, but everyone has been kind here.Thanks everyone.

So very sorry about your husband. If you ever need anyone to talk to i'm here. Just give me a yell! Whatever you do, don't give up. It will happen.

Hello All,
I have been off-line for a few months now and just got hooked back up, so I have lost track of all the threads. My big new news is I did not end up moving to Florida for school, so I spend my free time blowing snow. Northern Michigan always has beautiful winters, but this year takes the cake, we have had a lovely postcard perfect winter wonderland snow scape since November. (don't worry I haven't lost my mind, I am already getting excited about spring every time the temp goes up past 25F.)
Anyway, the stress of not being able to sell my house or get a job packed on even more pounds than I had to lose the first time I found this site (up to 238). But, then I accidentally found out that I was eligible for financial aid to go back to school up here, so I didn't have to sell my house to pay tuition. I am now a newly enrolled full-time student at our local community college. Because, a degree allows 2 credits to be from phys. ed. I decided to take a yoga class on Friday mornings for 1 credit and a weight-lifting class on Tuesdays and Thursdays for the other credit. I did this because now I am forced to exercise at least three days a week, so that I do not ruin my grade point average and lose my financial aid. Also, the unplanned daily exercise of a college campus with parking issues, means I usually have to walk anywhere from 1/4 mile to a 1/2 mile from the overflow parking lots to get to any of my classes, and with classes every day it means I am now off my butt more than I have been since I was still a full-time machinist in 2001. This is only the third week of school and I haven't lost any real weight yet, (just a few pounds of water from going back on a diuretic for my blood pressure), but even if the weight doesn't come off right away I still feel good about each day that I am less out of breath after climbing the stairs to get to class. And I was totally unprepared for how hard and exhausting two hour of yoga could be, it is brutal, so I know I am a big fat wuss. Once I get my life organized around the class schedule I will start looking at my eating habits again, but right now I can't seam to get the several small meals thing going, because I am always in a hurry so I am still far too hungry when I get home in the evening to rationally prepare a healthy meal.
{BettyRed are you still out there, I hope all is going well for you}

I too have lost a loved one very close to me 4 years ago so I can relate.

It is easy to fall into a depression but I had to tell myself that my loved one would WANT me to be happy and get healthy.

Good luck and you'll find a lot of nice, helpful supporters here!