[fatmad]

I am not sure I'm really ready for the next step. Please help me figure out the best moves.
I am not sure I am really ready to change the way I eat.
Am I ready to give up the feeling of feeling full or overstuffed most of the time. Can I give up the junk food?
I know how to eat well, but I am not sure I want to.
How can I motivate myself to get to a healthier and thinner me.
I am at least 40-50 lbs overweight, and have slowly and steadily gone up thru the years. I am about to turn 47 years old, and if I don't get myself in hand soon, I will not be able to grow old.
fatmad

[CountingDown]

I'm not sure I will be much help, because, my experience is that you DO HAVE to WANT it. Changing the way you eat is hard. Giving up foods you don't want to give up is very, very difficult.

Since you know what to do, and you don't sound like you want to do a "restricted" plan, I would recommend starting with:
1. Log everything you eat in either Fitday or thedailyplate.
2. Count calories - put some limits on how much you eat, if not what
3. Pick one healthy thing to do - make that change, then - when you are ready - make another one. Maybe it is eating more complex carbs (whole grains instead of white). Maybe it is ordering better choices while dining out - whatever, start small - succeed - repeat.

The great thing about doing this when you are older is that you realize it IS a LIFESTYLE change. The sense of urgency - losing 20 lbs for the prom - is gone. You have the rest of your life to get this right.

You CAN do this! I started when I was almost 50, and you can too!

[fatmad]

thanks countingdown, it is encouraging to hear from someone in the middle years. Of course, like many people my desire for change is something that ...... changes of course.
Somedays I think this is easy, I don't know why I can't do this etc. others I just can't face changing.
Mostly I don't think I'm so obese, until I glance in the mirror, or see a photo of myself. Then I realize I am actually fat. And getting fatter.
I am coming to this site to try to convince myself, and stories like yours help.
fatmad

[inspired by you]

I can only echo what CountingDown has already said. No one can do this for you or make you do it. Its all up to you. I do understand where your coming from. I thought giving up my night time junk of cookies, cakes, and ice cream would kill me, but I made sure I had plenty of healthy snacks on hand so I was at least eating something and not feeling like I was depriving myself. Eventually the cravings do pass and you wont want all that junk.
I have only been on my journey for about 5 weeks but I have already found myself turning down a low fat low cal chocolate snack for fresh fruit. I dont do that all the time mind you but it is becoming more common.
I will say I dont deprive myself of anything. I just count my calories and limit what I eat. Instead of an 8oz steak I just eat my 3 oz, not my idea of a steak, but it didnt kill me to change. I always add an extra veggie to my meals so they feel me up more and I dont feel like I was deprived, and I found that if I make really good healthy choices and I have enough calories left over then I can have a small piece of dessert or some other snack.
I find that with keeping a variety of healthy snacks around that I eat a lot more than normal, just healthier, and that i am never hungry, and I have yet to make my daily allowance of calories.
I'm sorry this was so long. I just wanted to be supportive and make you understand that a change in diet doesnt mean doing without, it just means being aware of what you are eating and limiting, not eliminating, the amount of unhealthy things you eat. Good luck with your journey. hope to see you around the boards more.

Gloria

[srmb60]

And you don't have to start many things all at once. Just go for a walk a few times this week -or- try cutting the fat in a favourite recipe -or- reading a good weight loss book -or- hanging out here at 3FC for a bit each day.

[kaplods]

I think that you can't make changes you don't want to. And it is a choice. You can't make anyone, even yourself change when the desire isn't there.

However, sometimes we're thinking we have only two choices, when there are actually many more.

You don't have to give up everything to make improvements. There's no "rule" that says you have to go from what you're doing now, to some imagined perfection.

What are you willing to do (or stop doing) to lose 1/2 a pound in the next month?

I use the example, not because I think you can't have more ambitious goals, but to show that you don't have to make big changes, or have hugely ambitious goals to start making progress. In fact, you might start with a healthy goal that has nothing to do with weight (if you happen to lose a few pounds in the process, bonus!), something small and simple for practice and to build your confidence.

Mostly in the past, I failed because I was overly ambitious. I made so many drastic changes, and had such huge expectations, that I felt like a miserable failure most of the time.

Start small and build on success. And remember that even maintenance of your current weight, and maintenance of every loss no matter how small, in itself is an acheivement worth celebrating. You will always have the choice to decide when you're not willing to make any further changes. You might lose 10 lbs and decide you don't want to make any more changes. That might be where you choose to stay, or after a few weeks you might decide that maybe you are ready to make another small change or two, and see how much more progress you're wanting and willing to make.

I think it's common to think that you must either make no changes, or many large changes, and I think that sets many of us up for failure. There's much to be said for learning that the changes don't have to big, and they don't have to have dramatic, rapid results for success. Weight loss often truly is a case where the tortoise can beat the hare.

[fatmad]

thanks for the very helpful replies> my period started today, might account for the pessimistic viewpoint recently, I havent had a period for a couple of months, and since I rarely ovulate now, I have trouble knowing if my stress is pms induced or not. The suggestions of doing a bit at a time is very helpful, and realistic. thanks
fatmad

[CountingDown]

Keep coming back here - especially when you are struggling or discouraged!!!

You CAN do this - and hanging out here really does help me put my problems/frustrations in perspective. You are not alone. And - if you really want this - you WILL succeed


Love yourself enough to make that one little change - now. And - let us know how you are doing

[jenjen77]

I TOTALLY know where you are coming from. There are days when I wake up ready to conquer the day and THEN there are days I wish I didnt have to get out of bed. Serious ups and downs....hang in there sister....

[PhotoChick]

Everything kaplods said ... yeah!

I think a lot of people sabotage themselves with the idea that they have to completely revamp their lives and that they have to do it all at once.

Now, I won't lie - my life now is NOTHING like my life 2 years ago. And if you had told me 2 years ago that this would be my life, I'd have given up. I'd have said "I can't do that" and just quit then and there.

Where I am now is the result of changes made step by step by step over that 2 year period.

When I first started, I had joined the gym because of my work ... just wanting to be in "better shape". Honestly, I had no idea what "better shape" even meant to me, except that I knew I wasn't in shape and that it was affecting my ability to do my job. I thought I ate ok - not great but ok - but I wasn't willing to give up my junk foods and my snacks and my "favorite things".

So I went to the gym. And I worked out like everyone says to. Lots of cardio. Cardio until I wanted to throw up. And I kinda quit eating junk food, but I was always making excuses for why it was ok "today".

Then, right before Christmas one year, I had some extra money and I thought I'd hire a trainer. It really was a whim and I had no intention of continuing working with him beyond my initial contract (4 weeks).

He started me training with weights - convinced me that girls could lift freeweights and lift heavy weights. He nagged me about my nutrition and my protein and cutting carbs at night. Mostly I ignored him. I told him at one point if I wanted to be nagged about my meals, I'd call my MIL. Just teach me how to get fit. I had no frickin' clue that "getting fit" was as much about nourishing your body as it was about lifting weights and doing cardio.

But slowly, slowly, slowly the changes crept in. He pushed me to add more protein to my diet and so I did - mostly to shut him up. And amazingly when I ate more protein, I wasn't as hungry all the time. He nagged me to quit eating carbs at night and so I did for a few weeks (sorta) and realized I felt better.

I had to give up my trainer for travel and finance reasons earlier this year, but I still credit him with much of the inspiration that helped me to change.

After I stopped working with him, I started reading and learning more - focusing on nutrition more from an athlete's point of view than from a dieter's point of view. Because, mind you, I'd NEVER considered myself an athlete, so why should I pay attention to an athlete's diet.

But what I read made sense to me. Not just from an athletic sense, but from a whole body sense. And it fit in with my desire to be more knowledgeable about what I ate and where it came from - to cut out chemicals, to eat more whole foods. I started reading books like Michael Pollan's In Defense of Food and The Omnivore's Dilemma. I actually bought the New Rules of Lifting for Women. Me! I bought a book on weight lifting - and read it cover to cover.

All of this ... was a sllloooooooowwww process. But one day I woke up and realized that I hadn't had junk from McDonald's in over 6 months. And I hadn't had a spicy chicken sandwich from Wendy's in almost a year. And when I got home at night after going to the gym (!!) I wanted protein - craved it. And I didn't want the normal snacky stuff that I used to - it just didn't sound good.

And today ... today I work out 4-6 times a week. I eat around 1500 calories a day, mostly veggies, complex carbs, and lean protein. I watch my macros and try to stick around a 40/35/25 split. I lift weights. I do squats and deadlifts with the olympic bar. I do benchpresses. I CRAVE movement. I CRAVE veggies and fruit.

And if you'd told me 2 years ago that I would be here today I'd have told you that you were smoking some serious crack.

Don't freak yourself out. It doesn't have to be all at once. It only has to be a step at a time. Take one thing - maybe you want to exercise some, or you want to eat more veggies, or you want to learn how to do yoga - and do that ONE THING. And then move on to the next. And the next. And the next. And before you know it, you'll have changed your whole life ... and you won't even realize you're doing it.

.

[fatmad]

wow photo chick, you story is awesome> How exciting and inspirational.
Now that my period is over and I am feeling more normal, things seem possible again. I am spending lots of time with the 40s forum and the bingers, and this is helping alot. I haven't decided on a weight loss plan, but have exercised daily since joining. Have been eating sensibly tho.
thanks for the inspiration everyone, it really means a lot.
fatmad

[loss4good]

I wish you luck in your journey to loss weight. I decide to start dieting again after see a picture of myself with my daughter. Sometimes its something small that pushes you to make very big changes in your lifestyle. Good luck!!!!!!!!