[Boosha]

Hi everyone. I'm 23 and from New York City. I've been chubby all my life and sick of being overlooked when I go out with my friends.

I just graduated college and I'm looking for work. When I arrive for an interview I feel everyone staring at me. Not that I'm obese, just that I look different than all the beautiful girls who live and work in NY.

Im sick of being that girl. That is why I am here.

[jadedjane]

hi Boosha!
I've been a member here for quite a while, but I rarely post. Two jobs, two teenage daughters, and full time school keep me more than occupied.

I know EXACTLY how you feel. I was more than just chubby, I fell into the morbid obesity range. There is a strange parallel that comes along with obesity (or even just being overweight). On one hand people stare, gawk, make comments under their breath etc... On the other hand people ignore or overlook obesity in general. It's as if they DO see us, but to acknowledge that we exist would mean facing down the idea that they, too, could someday become us - or perhaps already are, and they are unwilling to face their own faults.

There is also the (very inaccurate) "lazy" or "unkempt" stigma that comes with excess weight, which makes it more difficult to be considered for a job - in any market - not just NYC. I live in Southern California - The perfectly tanned, well manicured, blonde bombshell capital of the world and I am a freckle-faced, ghostly-pale, breastless, redhead who also happens to be formerly morbidly obese (now I'm a size 4). I stuck out like a sore thumb (IMO) and I STILL got overlooked.

~Now that we've gotten the pity party out of the way~

WELCOME! The fact that you are here and you are seeking a healthier lifestyle and wanting to improve yourself is a huge step in the right direction. In my weight loss journey and even during maintainence I have noticed that the more I improve myself the more people take notice. It will take time - and lots of it. Not everyone is going to rush in with hoorahs for losing a pound or two. What you will see is a change in yourself. There will be a shift in feeling self pity to feeling self worth which will ultimately reflect on the people you meet in your day-to-day life.

Stay focused on loving yourself - people WILL notice


Jane

[NightengaleShane]

Welcome, Boosha! I was the chubby, invisible girl in middle school and 9th grade, then I was the thin "hot" chick with long blonde hair and big boobs. Unfortunately, I got thin and "hot" by practicing several eating disordered behaviors, and once I stopped those, the weight piled on at quite a rapid rate until it plateaud at 175 (20 pounds overweight). I had been the thin "hot" chick for almost five years and was used to turning heads, yet suddenly at 175 pounds, I was completely invisible. I was so used to getting by on my looks, yet while 20 pounds overweight, I felt like I no longer had them. As jadedjane said, perhaps people do ignore obese and overweight people because they either do not want to be them, are them, or because society tells them that these people are lazy and unkempt.

By the way, I lost most of the weight I gained (AND gained a whole lot of muscle in the process), wear the exact same size as I did back then (4-6 regular, 5-7 jr), and get a good bit of attention for my looks. And if it's any consolation, I'm very "different" - I have short, spikey black hair, a muscular, curvy body, and my own unique style. You don't have to be conventionally beautiful to be considered attractive or even striking. Trust me.

[Boosha]

Thank you both for your inspiring words.

I hate to succumb to judging myself by beauty ideals. I obviously only feel terribly insecure as a result. I'm hoping that my weight loss journey will not only help me feel physically better, but also help heal my state of mind.