I have only just relised!!!!
 

Hi this is my first post. This may sound odd but I only seemed to honestly relise how fat I have actually become in the last few months. I don't feel fat, but when I look at a picture of myself taken the other year or when I see my reflection in a window - I think OMG that really can't be me. I have always been the skinny one in the family. I was actually hospitalized once for 2 weeks because I was under weight, this was when I lived with my family as a teenager. I am now 34. I married an English man at 18 - I am American. The marriage lasted for around 3 years - I left him. It was quite an abusive marriage some physical violence - but mostly mentally and sexually abusive. When I was married to this chap I weighted 7 & 1/2 stone he used to call me fat. I left him when he went on holiday - yes, without me. It was too expensive apparently for us both to go. I found myself a flat and stayed single for several years. I looked back at pictures of myself when I was with him. One of the pictures I was wearing a tube top. I could count all of my ribs!! With the help of chocolate,crisps & mt friends I managed to put some weight on. My heaviest ever weight - a healthy 9 stone. I then met my current husband and stayed the stayed the same weight for the first 5 years that we have been together. Now thinking back on it I have probably been putting weight on for the last 3 years. We have been together for 8 years. I don't tend to buy clothes very often - a top or trousers once or twice a year, so I really didn't pay attention to the size labels. I've probably known for a long time that I was getting fatter but just ignored it. Perhaps, if I don't buy a lot of clothes - then when I do buy some new ones they will be smaller.
Anyway, I have realized that I have put too much weight on and now need to get rid of it.
I was working shifts and hubby would wait until I got home before he would eat, so sometimes I was cooking a full roast dinner when I got home at 9:30 at night - so eating at 10:30 or 11pm and then going to bed. Not good.
I work from home now, but I find that if I'm peckish I will have 2 or 3 biscuits or a packet of crisps. I have been taking note of what I eat. In the mornings we always have a cooked breakfast - Full english, scrambled eggs & salmon, bacon sandwich. Lunch is normally a cheese sandwich with crisps, Dinner I think we aways have healthy dinners - almost always homemade with little or no fat. I'll scrutinize these later.
So I know that I am eating alot of fattening things.
Three days ago I decided to start my plan!
I need to learn how to not feel that I need to eat because I am not doing anything else or because I am taking a break, Etc. And I need to get rid of my tates for certain foods. I love the flavors and textures of food when I'm eating them, or somtimes just the smell of certain foods while they are being cooked.
So I have bought myself herbalife shakes, protein powder and multi vitamins. I make a shake for 2 of my meals then have a normal 3 meal. I mix a scope of protein powder in with the shake and take 1 vitamin tablet 3 times a day. I bought this privately through amazon not through a local distributor. I don't feel hungy after my shakes, hubby still eats as normal. I choose what we are going to have for our main meal - basically what I have a craving for that day. I am going to keep using these shakes until I can get my obsession with food under control and learn a healthier diet. So far I am happy with this method. When hubby is cooking his breakfast or lunch, the smell goes through the house - lovely - but before I would have eaten it if I was hungry or not. For the last three days I haven't. I am learning self control with these shakes, which is a good thing, just because it smells nice dosen't mean that I have to eat it.
It might not be how everyone else does things, but for me, for now it is working by making me think about what I have been eating and I am quite shocked.

Any way I would like to hear about anyones views on where I am and where I am going. And any help or advise they might have.

Hi Easter, welcome to 3FC! I don't know the nutritional info on those shakes, but if you count it up and you are getting what you need (fiber, vitamins, calcium, etc) then you're doing ok. Look at weight loss as a repair phase. Duct tape is stronger than scotch tape. :) Cut calories, but be sure that you are getting the right nutrition and your body will adapt better.

I know it's hard to learn new eating habits! So often we eat from boredom, loneliness, celebration, etc and it just turns into a deeply ingrained habit! Have you read YOU on a Diet? It makes a lot of sense, and teaches good habits for life.

Good luck to you!!