Hi My name is Laura,
(aka Lannae..my grandma called me that)

Iam 35 years young,and well here I am...fat,depressed,no energy,and yet not ready to hang in the towel or roll over and play dead...at least not yet..
I can be out going and positive,but inside I feel as if Im dieing,I have not been successful on a diet in ages...I have done low carb,and did manage to get some weight off fast for a holiday,but looking at the pictures,I was still fat...and now the weight is back plus 10!!!...ugh...

is there anyone else here that doesnt see themselves as being as fat as they are,because that is me,dont get me wrong I know Iam heavy,and yes I can and do carry it well,but then you get a glimpse of yourself in a mirror,or in a window,and it I was not in a public place I would probably stop and say "HOLY CRAP!"...but,I go back to eating...

I feel that Iam addicted to food,I crave it and I eat it,and not in small amounts,I will eat alot..and it makes me happy,for a short time..then Im depressed...I wake up thinking food..and that is sad,I should be thinking,and I want to be thinking about visting friends,maybe getting a job so Im out of the house,or hiking,biking,my kids...etc..

I just dont want to be here anymore,I dont want food controlling my mood for the day,the week...but yet it does..I need help...I need friends,I need to be around people that are doing it...and when Im down they will pick me up,and yes I would do the same...


I guess I just need to feel as if Im not alone...again..lol...but,I really want to do this..well I need to do this as well...

anyways..thats me for now..thanks for listening,it felt good to just write and post my feelings about my weight,something I ususally hide from doing...

thanks again,
Lannae

Hey there Lannae! Welcome!

Dealing with a weight problem is absolutely challenging! Especially to the point of throwing our hands in the air and trying to accept that it's okay to weigh whatever we weigh.... except deep down we're not really as happy as we try to be. I'm glad you found this forum. Go browsing & start posting in the areas that interest you. So many of us have found a lot of support & friendships that seem to really make a difference.

Let us know how you're doing. We're all in this thing together!

Marylynn

oh sweety, you are definitely not alone. I don't see myself fat either and I am 30 pounds overweight which is alot on my size 5'3" frame. The only time I really see the fat is after I get out of the shower and then I see all of the lumps and bumps and it hits me right between the eyes that gee, girl, you really need to do something about this. But during the day and especially when I'm really busy I don't notice it. Oh, another time is when I'm walking in the mall and I catch my reflection in one of the store mirrors. Shocking! About the food thing. I have the same problem with my eating. I can eat and eat and eat and its like I'm in some kind of stupor. I am now trying to consciously look at my food and eat slowly and realize that I can eat more food tomorrow - its not going away forever. I'm like a food hoarder and I'm trying to come to terms with it and realize food is just fuel for my body. It has no power of its own and can't cure loneliness, boredom or depression. You have many friends here who understand and support you and you're goals. So don't give up, get busy with some sort of hobby you really enjoy. Sometimes I get so occupied by one of my hobbies, I forget to eat which is a miracle for me.

So many of us struggle at the beginning with eating to moderate our emotions. I always try to remember that "If hunger isn't the problem, eating isn't the solution". It helps when I'm trying to fight those "want to solve the frustration/anger/sadness with eating" moments.

Have you seen our "Chicks in Control" forum?

Keep posting! Can't wait to hear more from you soon.

thank you all from the bottom of my heart...it means alot when someone puts them selves out there that they one get a response,lol,and second,that they dont feel so alone..

I hate where Iam,but after reading posts,and goals reached,I realize that I dont have to stay here...ugh..

Im going to keep getting to know my way around this site,and Im going to keep taking my baby steps...and,thanks to you all,Im going to stay here...

thanks,it means alot to me...alot..
Lannae

Hi,
I understand about being addicted to food, wanting to give up. There were days when I felt , why bother??? I really think it is possible now if you really want it bad enough, believe me I gave all the excuses for not trying, and everytime I tried a little, I would stop , give up gain what I lost and more. I do not follow any plan, just exercise and eat right( calorie counting).... So it is possible , I look forward to see you post more .
cheryl

Welcome to 3FC. You are definately not alone. I didnt/dont think or feel that I am as fat as I am/was until I went shopping and could only find 1 pair of pants to fit me at Walmart and I hated them, but they were the only ones that would fit, so I had to buy them. Then I come home and looked at some pics of myself... I got sick to my stomach. Reality hit! I was upset, but not dead set on changing things. Later that same night Im watching TLC and see a show about morbid obesity. Thats when it hit me. I had to change.

Im doing it.. slowly but surely, and you can too. I too use to wake up thinking about food. I let food control me. Now its a fight, but I control what goes into my mouth. You can too!!

I suggest getting a blog. You can use places like www.thedailyplate.com to figure out how many calories you need to eat in a day. Use your blog to let out all those vents/aggrevations.

Check out my blog or PM me if you wanna talk. We are all in this battle. It can be won. Dont give up.

Hi Everyone!
I'm new here too, I just joined today. I am right there with all of you, especially you Lannae. I have felt everything you said. In my mind, I'm thin and beautiful and then I get a good look at myself either in a picture or a reflection and reality hits. I am so lucky that I have a husband who loves me just the way I am, but I am not happy with myself anymore. I have been fat my entire life (all 37 years!!) and I used to be able to just shrug off the looks and the remarks and be happy with my fat self, but I don't feel that anymore. I have a 3 1/2 year old daughter and I now see a future of me possibly not being there for all her big milestones unless I do something. And you would think that that would motivate me into doing something, but it hasn't. I was also recently diagnosed being insulin resistant which of course is just one step closer to diabetes and that hasn't done anything for me either. I can't seem to get myself motivated enough to exercise and that is my big problem. I can cut back on my eating and now I have to watch my carb intake, which hasn't been too hard to do, but the doc said that being insulin resistant, I really needed to exercise and that has been so hard for me. I am also an emotional eater and I really think that I am addicted to food, which doesn't help any.

So I can honestly say that you are definitely not alone!!! I am, by the sounds of it, in the same exact place that you are so I say that we pick ourselves up and we all motivate each other!!!! I have tried everything else out there but looking to others for support so now I'm ready and willing to try that and see if that works for me.

Gosh, you couldn't be LESS alone in your feelings! I am also 35 and felt fat, depressed, and had no energy too. It's probably hard to believe, but I never felt as fat as I was. A lot of that is my height, but it's also a trick of the brain that many of us feel. It goes both ways though. Once the weight really starts coming off, you will catch a glimpse of yourself in a mirror and not realize it's you!

I find that this site is such a helpful tool for me in that having people around that know what you're going through and are more supportive than you thought possible makes all the difference.

I hope you post often so we can get to know you!