[Under it all]

so this is not my best introduction, i am warning you right now, but i have so much to say and no one who i feel will actually understand me. so i am running to you all in hopes that you will understand, or at least let me complain a little bit.
ok here i go:
in august i found out my girlfriend of two and a half years was cheating on me and for some odd reason that did ME lots of good. i started swimming again, i stopped eating all the junk, i took up throwing clay and finding time for myself. it was great. i lost weight, made new friends, dated, felt sooooo good about myself. the whole time i lived with my girlfriend and then i decided to move.
i moved back home after living away for two in a half years, on my own, in a completly different city. I moved back into the city my parents live in, into their home, working with my dad. i gained 27lbs in 2 and 1/2 months. i feel so frustrated and angry at myself for letting myself get this way.
i have always been "fat". well no, i lie, i started gaining weight in the 5th grade and never stopped. what is funny though is that i use to excercise like crazy! i love swimming so i use to swim anywhere between 2-3 hours 5 times a week in high school and i would go walking with my friends and lift weights. even then, the lightest i ever got was 230lbs the heaviest 250lbs. when i moved away for college i lost weight. i went from 228 to 208. i was happy. i felt good. i never dieted and i excersied just a tad more than i usually did and yet i managed to drop those 20lbs in 2 1/2 months. i started gaining it back little by little. gaining and droping it, it seemed to balance out.
then i moved here. i work everyday and go to school everyday. i started drinking... a lot. i took up my bad habbit of smoking again. i couldnt find time to swim or walk or anything else for that matter. i started eating food that i dont even like, like french fries, chips, greasy food, cooking with oils, all that crap.
two days ago i went to the doctors and found out i weight 250. i want to cry. so i started a diet and i suck at it. lol. i crave sweet stuff. i do. and the diet i am on, its this mexican thing that my mom does and it actually works, i call it the mexican adkins, does not let me eat any sweets. and i ate a cinnomon roll. man i suck

[JayEll]

Hey Under it all,

Plenty of folks here have been through what you're going through. We can help encourage you to take the steps you want to take.

Sorry about the breakup. Sometimes things like that are motivating for getting in shape, other times just the opposite.

From your story I see a few things I might suggest. Please note that these are just suggestions, and I'm just a person like you who has been trying to lose weight. Take what you need and leave the rest!

1. Drinking alcohol means putting empty calories in your body, calories that will turn into fat faster than you can say make it a double. Try to limit your intake. If you're drinking really a lot at the moment, consider slowly cutting down because suddenly stopping can be dangerous.

2. Stop smoking. Enough said.

3. Make yourself a meal and snack plan you can stick to, one that works with your work and school. This will mean some planning and effort on your part, but you can't really afford to wing it.

4. Don't restrict carbohydrates completely. Even Atkins allows a certain amount every day in the strictest part. But do follow those guidelines and say no to the sweet rolls. You'll find you don't crave them so much if you don't eat them for awhile.

Anyway, those are just general thoughts. You'll find plenty of ideas in the forums, so browse around.

Good luck!
Jay

[Jennifer 3FC]

Hi Under it all I'm so sorry you feel so low right now. I do totally understand how you feel, and I can promise you that you are not alone! So many people here have found themselves in your spot at one time or another. I know you feel like you are out of control, but you can get this turned around. I second everything that Jay said, plus here are a couple of more thoughts.

Smoking will really screw up your exercise - ability or desire. You really do need to stop, and believe it or not, I've seen people lose weight from quitting smoking because they walked everytime they were due a ritual smoke. After meals, upon waking, getting home from work. I'm a former smoker myself and I loved every single cigarette. But I love my life more now, much more!

You don't have to go as extreme as you are with dieting. Balanced dieting is also a great way to lose weight, and you won't be as inclined to eat the cinnamon roll if you have the opportunity to eat more carbs at other times. Be sure and get plenty of vegetables and whole grains for fiber and vitamins. And even some oatmeal with Splenda brown sugar if you are really wanting something sweet and starchy. In my opinion, balanced and calorie controlled is so much easier to follow.

If you don't feel like you can diet one day, at least cut out fried foods and excess sweets. The healthier you eat, even if you eat more of it, is one way to get your system rid of the junk, and the longer you can stick with this the better you'll feel. Wouldn't it be nice to smell fried food and automatically not have any craving or desire for it? It's a really great feeling!

You are worth this, and you can absolutely turn yourself around. Please visit us often and share your good and bad times. I would have never lost a pound if not for all of my friends at 3FC.

[Cheryl14]

Hi Under it all!

Welcome!

Jay and Jennifer have made EXCELLENT points! I'd like to add this: LOVE YOURSELF! This is something I discovered fairly recently! CARE about yourself so much that you will DO only those things and EAT only those foods that will help you get to your goal. Try not to let anything or anybody force you to do what will hurt you. Be selfish for awhile and get yourself calm and settled. I know that I had to do that for myself before I could seriously begin to lose my weight.

Good Luck!

Cheryl