A Failed IP'er Restart....Long
 

So I was not really sure where on earth I should post this, so I am starting a new one.
Ok so this is going to be a long post ish so hopefully you will stay with me.
This is my confession and I feel the need to tell it.
I started IP at 303 and got down to 209 in approx. 6.5 months...yay it was awesome, it was fabulous and I loved myself and was so proud, even made dieter of the week! Here I am a year later back at 300 smashing my head against a wall, got rid of all my old fat clothes because I thought I would NEVER be in this position again.
So I have come to terms with myself and have started again just on a different account.
During my IP journey I had a lot of problems that made me question the diet because honestly its not healthy(yes and I get the whole being over weight is not healthy either) but it got to the point of I started having severe constipation that took days to go away that the IP brand of laxative did not help. I actually blacked out in my bathroom and smashed my head off the floor because of my salt, potassium being so low. So I had to adjust my intakes for that as well.(insert 100% IP'ers who will start bashing me telling me I am obviously not doing things right, or I must have had something else wrong with me)The answer to that parenthesis is that no...I was 100% IP and I followed it like it was a bible. Its just my body clearly did not handle the deficiencies well and in result I have to start taking more amounts of supplements.
So to my real reflection on where I started climbing the weight scale again.
When I got to my 209 I was happy felt like I could concur anything. My problem was I did not have the money to keep going with IP(still wanted to lose 29 pounds), and the food was starting to make me gag...so I thought I would phase out on my own and maintain on my own....mistake number 1.
I had no sense on how to eat, the idea of quick carb slow carb ect. I hated eating in the morning I was so use to morning shakes, I literally could not eat breakfast when phasing out.
I started not eating properly, not exercising enough and between May and December I gained 40 pounds. Then I went on vacation to Mexico gained a lot there, and came back and my granny was in the hospital. From Dec 20 up till now I have put on almost 60 pounds. I lost my gram and she was practically my mom, I turned to food as comfort, and all I do is eat now because I feel like my life is out of control. I am bigger than I was prior to starting IP like inches wise. I am so devastated and depressed, and I realize I am one big IP f... up.
*Moral of the story follow your sheet!!!!*
I am starting this again so that I can regain control, and start to feel healthy again. As I stand I will not be 100% compliant, I am not even going to try and kid myself about that. When I say not 100% I am referring to buying all the Walden farms stuff, and all Ideal Protein products. I will buy salad dressings that may have 1 carb in them, or use some water flavours. I WILL NOT be eating foods outside of the plan though. As for supplements IP products are not in my financial bracket at this current moment.
I rather be honest now and not set myself up for failure.
I realize I am going to probably get a whole bunch of backlash from y'all, but that's ok. I truly do love the IP diet, I just went and disrespected the clear cut protocols for phasing out. So now I am asking for support, and I can hope it will be given.
Please do not think I am bashing the diet, I am just stating my experience.

I can totally understand your feelings. I joined last Oct. and did really well. I even made it through the holidays which I've never done. I was so happy with my progress. My boyfriend did something really stupid which sent me to my comfort "food". I have gained back all I lost just like you. I am disgusted with myself and my lack of self control. I am ready to do this again. I will be doing alternatives and this time bought some products online to help fight the evening munchies. Last go round I only had rtd's , meat and veggies. Anyway, received my products yesterday and will try again Tues. I didn't ' come anywhere near losing the amount you did. I am totally in aww at people who can accomplish that.

You stuck to the plan once and can do it again.

Kandy... Folks on here are anxious to support those who are serious about losing weight with IP. And you clearly are. In fact you have the insight to know both that IP works and that it is about far more than just losing weight. Lifetime changes are what keep you successful in maintenance. YOU are way ahead of many in what you have already learned!

There are LOTS of people on here who use alternative products that meet the IP standards and they are embraced equally to those who use IP packets. Success is not in the foil packet stamped IP... It is in embracing the whole plan, whatever "packets" you decide to use.

Go to the Alternatives that work in phase one Part 4 thread and get the little pink guide in the first post and look down a few posts and you will see a few more guidelines I posted to use when selecting products.

I also suggest finding the same thread Part 3 since Part 4 is so new and has few posts. Also in Daily Chat is a link to the original thread but it is several years old.

Next step... Shop for your products (Nashua Nutrition is my favorite site)!

Feel free to post questions and visit us all in the Daily Chat, What Are You Eating, Alternatives threads, etc.

WELCOME BACK!!!

I did a similar thing to you. I think I may even have changed my name too wanting a fresh start. But, I didn't want to wait 20 days for my ticker and couldn't remember how to make a new one, and hey, I like you thought that I may as well be honest. We both know this works. And we both know if you don't phase off properly and figure out an "after plan", then it doesn't take long to put it back. People -- newbies especially-- need to hear that reality I think.

Good for you for knowing what worked and that you can come back here. 100% refers to committal, not to IP products as mentioned. I am at best a 90% er. I put milk in my coffee, forget my supplements, don't drink enough water... but I'm trying my best every day. I know what works and I sometimes need to listen to my own advice better.

You have a lot to offer us. 100 lb loss is amazing so share your expertise with us and know we're here to support you if needed too.

See I was a super active person on these threads, and if someone even mentioned one bad thing about the diet, there would be an uproar....it was pretty sad. Thats why I take caution in how I word things occasionally.

Why don't you try the south beach diet instead. On that diet it costs you nothing but your own grocery bill and its low carb and you learn how to eat properly.

First off let me say welcome back!!!

I started in Sept. I did well, I lost 45lbs but have gained 6 lbs back since I have been on burnout mode. I like you am trying to restart and lose the last 40 or so :(

There is a 90% thread that has been like a confessional for so many (me included) I will bump it up so if yu struggle you can post there with out the fear of scolding or lectures or getting "black listed (ignored by others for your own personal struggles)

:hug: :dust:

I too did the same thing. I was on IP in 2011 and lost 80 lbs. I got bored/unmotivated whatever you want to call it even though I still needed to lose 40 more pounds. Fast forward to 2014 and I gained back 70 of the 80lbs. I lost and felt so stupid, ashamed etc. I didn't phase off and just went back to doing what I did before. I hadn't gotten rid of any of my bigger clothes so as I was gaining the weight back, I'd just pull a bigger size out of the closet. I started again in March 2014 and have lost 36 lbs. They say the definition of insanity is doing the same thing again and expecting a different result. This time I WILL get to my goal and phase off and have an "after" plan. That never really occurred to me last time. I'm not sure why. I guess I was so focused on the losing weight part. I bought the book Dr. Beck's diet solution that talks about having a plan etc. I'm glad you decided to come back. I think admitting it is time to come back is the hardest part. Hang in there and good luck!! :)

I think "the bad things said about the diet/uproar" part and "scolding or lectures" is because we are all so zealous for things to work right and that we all want to quickly get someone back on track so they can have success too. It is very difficult to write to convey what we really feel, because the emotion & care in our voice and our facial expressions are not there on the page. Words must be chosen very carefully so that they cannot be misconstrued and we aren't professional writers, so often we just pour it out and hit the 'submit' button.

I'm sorry if anyone feels persecuted, but there is also a time for advice, and a time for just acknowledgement and a hug. Don't forget though, that just commiserating with someone doesn't always help them see how to get back on track and have their own victories so they can feel good again.

That said, Welcome Back, to anyone who is trying it again... Please take our posts in the most positive light you can. One thing you can be certain of, is that we all want you to succeed!

Liana

:):)Wishing you all the best in your journey! This is NOT easy but it is 100% worth it! I hope you have a better experience this time with the forum. The ladies here are a wonderful support for me and a kick in the pants when I need it! We are all in this together - Can't wait to see your tracker go down in numbers!!

I'm in a similar boat Kandy, Don't fret - Im just farting around and not going down any farther, wasting my own time. I don't know why I keep doing this, I havent been serious about this since November. I need to stop kidding myself and get back on track. I've even said that before lol!

I considered restarting new too, but that is more of me hiding from myself. Maybe I'm hoping that me saying

"HEY, I'M ME AND I'M SCREWING THIS UP!!!"

can help me to not be disgusted with myself. I'm not accountable to anyone here for anything, only to myself in the end. I need to figure out how to make me care more about me in order to stay on track I think. Good Luck to you! I hope to see you around!

Thanks for your post, Kandy. I find your honesty and humility very helpful. I am happy to hear that you are back. I have been on IP for almost two months and find myself eating that one extra bar and skipping dinner or even eating dinner and adding an extra bar. I can rationalize just about anything, so I tell my self that it doesn't matter etc. I seem to learn better from someone admitting what hasn't helped them or what doesn't work for them. I guess it must come from my rebellious, old hippie, mentality. Rules are made for other people. Maybe my "saying it out loud" will help me to refocus my goals.

Kandy - and everyone, It is so true that we all do things we would rather have not done.

While I haven't gained all of it back, I was up 15 pounds from my lowest weight that I was at one year ago. I've gone back on P1 and have now taken off 10 of those pounds, but I still need to get the last 5-6 pounds off. It's a struggle - and its a struggle to maintain. I wish it was easy. I really wish I could eat those foods that I miss and love.

I completely understand your frustration. I know you can do this, though, because you did it before. Just get into the groove and do it. I found that I'm using more alternatives this time around, than IP products, and they work just as well. My daily snack is a Quest bar.

But it's an ongoing process, for sure.

Just check in on these boards every day. Post on the 90% and the what are you eating, daily chat, etc. When you get to your goal weight - or even near it - begin reading the Maintainers thread. Those people there are really vigilant in watching what they eat. They inspire me.

Most of all, be loving and gentle and kind to yourself. We are human beings living in these human bodies. It's a challenge, but a wonderful experience. :hug::hug::hug:

Kandy, I've been thinking about your post, not everything you wrote but the tone reflected in your title "failer IPer". I wanted to add my support to your doing IP on your own terms, terms that so clearly reflect your successful experience in losing weight, and that you have thought so carefully about. The generic IP protocol sheets are given to all IPers, whether it's a 22 year old 6'2" tall male who works out everyday, or a 60 year old 5'2" female with a desk job who hates to sweat. (sorry if I seem to be sterotyping, lol!)

IP was never intended to be followed to the letter. Rather, the coaches have been trained to customize it to fit the needs of the individual. That means the diet IS flexible, and in fact SHOULD be tweaked. I learned the hard way that my brain needs more food than is allowed on P1 just to string 2 coherent thoughts together. Yet I considered that extra food as 'cheating' and am pretty certain I was viewed that way when sharing my experiences on some of the threads. So I understand your reticence to be candid.

I just did 4 weeks of P1--my way--and realize what an incredibly empowering tool it can be, if you don't use the protocol sheet to beat yourself up. There's no magic to the diet, really. It certainly doesn't demand perfection to work, as long as you understand and stick to the variations that work for you.

The things IP doesn't have nailed down, imho, are the messier behavioral issues of food/carb addiction, emotional eating, etc. This is NOT a criticism, in fact, they don't even claim to address those things (though the coaches and videos can help). Each of us must figure out a way that works to maintain--it's a steep learning curve and just because there is a regain doesn't mean the dieter has failed.

This is a longwinded way to say that you are NOT a failed IPer, rather an empowered and wiser 2nd-time-arounder. IP works, it worked for you, and can work again. You are a soon-to-be maintainer with a lot more knowedge than you had the first time. I could write a book about my missteps and pitfalls after P1 that made me regain 12 lbs twice in less than a year. Like you, I know how to lose weight now, and how to make IP fit me if I need it again.

Wishing you all the best and hope to see you somewhere in the threads!

I love this post!!! :hug: This is so true well said.

Kandy...please don't be so hard on yourself. Sounds like you have gone through so much in the past year. You have lost the weight, so you know that you can, and will, do it again.

Now for my confession...I am restarting this program, again tomorrow. I lost 40 lbs, only to gain it all back. (Like you, IP43, I wanted to change my name in here!!) It was my own food choices that got me here. I have realized & learned that I must truly be a carb addict. In maintenance, I was very careful at first to track everything...and was very successful...until I added the cheat day into my week. After that, I was on a roller coaster for awhile until I finally fell off. (Bouncing from phase 1 days to cheat days and I hated it). Like you, I got rid of all of my bigger clothes, so I'm left with just a few things that fit. I feel horrible. I hate leaving my house for fear that people I know will see me. This is so depressing. So tomorrow, May 25th, I'm going to put an end to this madness. I can't wait to feel great again!!!

Thank you all for sharing your stories. It's so helpful to know that we're not in this alone!! :hug:

So here is another longer post in light of most peoples post.
yes I do need to learn to eat properly, but as for right now I need something easy and simple to stick to (which this is), I really dont have to focus in cooking especially when I am living out of a hotel for work most of the time.
Yes some people dont see it a failure, but my personal self I feel like I have put my body through **** losing 100 pounds then gaining it all back in less than 2 years. So I see it as failing myself.
Maybe things are different now but there are some serious IP people out there who give their every bit of input on everything and what you do is wrong. There was no winning. But things change and I look forward to jumping back into everything and contributing to threads.
I am definatly going to be more prepared for the aftermath this time.
I am glad tthere is many of us starting over (not glad that people have to start over, bu t happy there is support! Lol)
Thanks everyone!

Hi,

I hope that you can use your experience as information, now that you know what to do differently. Every person is using the IP protocol to deal with a weight issue, but it is a personal journey. What other people think or say- is about them. You seem to fear the judgement of others, but in reality you have already been your harshest critic. Just take it one meal at a time. Now that you know better, you will do better. Good luck.

Kandy, I think the backlash you fear was much more likely several years ago. There were very zealous posters here then. It doesn't seem nearly as argumentative now. Good luck in your ongoing journey.

So nice to see that scale moving the right direction this morning! That is a great way to start a Monday (not usually my favourite day of the week! LOL)

I know hey! I started thursday and took a quick peek! Down 7 so far!

Way to go Killer Kandy! I was just reading this thread. Like you, I lost weight on IP before than let myself gain it back. I've been so nervous to re-start being already anxious over maintenance (ummmm...how about I get there first?) I've struggled my entire life and now at 42, it is not getting any easier and to be honest, I'm so tired of thinking about it and planning to actually "live" my life when I'm happy with my weight. I just want to feel comfortable in my own skin. I will say that the posts from those on maintenance are definitely inspiring and give me some reassurance that it can be done. Good luck to you.......I'm on the journey with you! :)

I am going up the same hill, down the same path... However one wants to say it.... Lost 35 pounds then some life challenges hit and I gained it all back, and I thought, once things settle down I will get back on track, well I realize life is not going to settle down not for a long while, so I recommitted myself last night, and as was posted by another, IP works, but you/I have to make it work for the individual And be certain to phase off properly with a game plan for maintenance
So nice to know these boards are a constant!
Looking forward to next Monday weigh in!

Looks like there is a bunch of us "Oops I did it again"-ers... But using that Britney Spears song is not a bad mantra. Look how many times SHE messed up and she got back up and got in shape/got her kids back/got her career back...

Knowing I'm not the only one kicking my own :kickbutt: makes me feel a little better! :) As does seeing all the people here living and modelling success. Whatever stage one is at, it is helpful and inspirational to others -- even if we don't recognize it right away

Lol in love that 'Oops I did it again-ers' definatly made me laugh :p
Hope everyone is having a good day and that the weekend was not to brutal. I think I may keep posting here to share what the difference is from last time to this time for me. I am sure I could post on tons of threads but I like to stick to only a few :)

Thanks for being brave enough to tell your story, Kandy! I have been beating myself up and feeling so depressed, embarrassed and frustrated because I had lost over 60 lbs on IP over a year ago and have gained most of it back also. I have tried to restart a million times but just can't seem to stay with it for more than a few days. I was so strong when I was on plan before, I can't figure out why I am not able to follow through this time. I worked so hard and I think I am just so mad about messing up I can't let go and just re commit to begin again... everyone at work was so supportive and now that I am heavy again no one mentions it to my face and another girl who had bypass is getting all the praise and I praise her too, don't get me wrong I think she looks gorgeous but it makes me feel even more like a failure, anyway reading your post helped me to think that maybe I can join you and the others to start over.

For me all of the above is true. It is a bit scary to go through it all again (and I'm one of the ones who has hair loss issues to boot) BUT you have to have a changed mindset for the END. We KNOW it works. We know we can do it. Now we just have to work on the "Maintenance" part.

My friend had the gastric bypass and looks great, lost a ton etc. BUT she can hardly eat anything and many foods make her sick. I want to avoid that option.

There are enough of us here who understand your feelings -- the embarrassment and all that. BUT we also appreciate that you have the knowledge on how to be successful to share as well.

Pity party is over for all of us. Grab yer:broc: and join the "one hot mama" party!! :flame::flame::flame::dancer::dancer:

Thanks IP43! You're right! The pity party is over right now! Instead of worrying about it not working which is why I think I am giving up after a few days and continuing to gain more ( which is a cop out) I just need to focus on succeeding one day at a time.

Good to hear that! Now tomorrow is "day 1" -- no doing the "this is the last day I can have ....(fill in the blank)..." You DO know it works because you already did it. Just keep remembering how good you felt when the weight came off. And as Larry the Cable Guy says in his infinite wisdom "Git 'er dun!"

P.S. I personally did not announce this time that I'm doing IP again at work (I'm sure you appreciate why). I just have been bringing my salad and have said "Oh I felt so much better when I was eating more salad -- gotta get back to some healthier eating so I can wear my thong to the beach"...

Today is day 3 for me and feeling better already...I am busy helping a friend on hospice. Last week when I first started the final stages with him I though okay so there is no way I can lose weight with all of this going on, but then I said no this is the perfect time to learn how to lose weight when LIFE hits...so I started back and am very glad I did...and as we all said earlier using the IP platform and tweaking it for me...day 3 down 4.5 pounds(yes I weigh daily!) hope the rest of you have a great day!

This looks like the thread I need to be in! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!? I have fallen off the wagon big time.....

I've lost 49 lbs and have gained 10 of those back in two weeks because I have completely fallen off the program. I am determined to start like new tomorrow and see how this goes. I have come so far and I know if I keep it up I will gain all 50 back!

I'm just eating everything in sight, and it's not even good. MAKE IT STOP!

I feel like such a failure!

STOP!! Take a deep breath and say, "I CAN DO THIS!" Look how far you've come!! Don't let this slip up mess you up!! Pick yourself up and get back on board!! You got this!!!

We all mess up, we all make mistakes, the important thing is that you realized it and are ready to jump back on!! Seriously, You've got this!! Give it 3 days and your cravings will be gone!!

Why wait until tomorrow?? Start RIGHT NOW! no time like the present!! then tomorrow at this time it will have been 1 whole day!! :jig:

Texaschick- real life is about slips, now it is time to stop the slide. Success= fall 3 times, get up 4. You can do this. Just take it one meal at a time. Set yourself up for success. You know the routine, because you have done it. You are worth every bit of white knuckle effort.

texaschick - what is important is that you do not allow falling off to become a non ending issue - set your mind to the next mouthful, the next meal and just make sure that you put all your mental energy into making them 100% OP.

Just one baby step at a time...not 10 pounds, not goal, just one meal. Repeat.

This is not flip advice but the experience of having been there twice in my IP journey. For whatever reasons, generally related to being with my sons when they visit (trigger), I fell off. For me, it was not so much the weight I gained or failed to lose but the loss of mental focus.

You can do this. If we are to be successful at IP, planning and focus is critical. Failing is only a temporary stage and giving up is never an option because you can start again the minute you make up your mind.

Plan, think, take that first step. Read this site, over and over. You are not alone and there are many who will help you through this.

Everyone has been making huge steps to even be posting and saying 'yes I screwed up!' We are human, and as each day passes by we have the choice to make and all it takes is one tiny step to start yourself off into big changes.The fact that we know why we are back in the same spot we are in is huge! Now we can plan ahead, know what to expect, give guidance and hope more people dont fall into the same situation. The first time cost a lot of money, I think the second time will have a greater price tag, so I dont think I personally will want to come back for a 3rd IP go around.
When I came off I seriously indulged, and then it downward spiraled. Like I could probably eat cinnamon buns for all 3 meals if I wanted to at one point!
We are all in this together and I think we all make a seriously awesome support group. And im not ruling people out, but we cant be newbies because we been there done that, and technically we are not maintainers at this point. So lets all join together because I believe this time around could be potentially hard, or even easier because we kind of know what the unknown is not.
I all of a sudden just want to give you all a hug and be like 'restarters UNITE' but im also lacking sleep, and have been laying in bed reading numerous post, contemplating what I should accomplish today. *end crazy talk *

Just this KillerKandy: :hug: now have a little nap...:cloud9: love the crazy talk

Liana

KillerKandy and Liana - you both made me laugh so thank you. It is wonderful to see how your mindset has changed Kandy -- you got "umption in your gumption" in this posting so your mind is already set to "success".
Awesome stuff!

Yes im feeling ready to keep chugging along even though the past to days have been rocky because I have literally only had1 protein pack a day then dinner and chugging water because i have been kind of gross and not hungry....but oh well life goes on. Hows everyone elses week going? I will probably ask monday to because weekends can be ROUGH!
HAPPY FRIDAY!

Sounds like it has been a rough week. Make sure you are taking enough food and packets -- too few can stall your weight too. The weekend is here and we made it through another week! wooot wooot!

I like the restarters unite! I am doing pretty well...stress is at its peak with more to come, but I have had no bread or desserts, my main "slip up" is a gin and tonic (diet tonic) otherwise completely on plan...I use alternatives: shakes bars and 8 oz meat and 4cups veggies (permitted ones) and olive oil and sea salt...need to get through the weekend!