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Old 10-14-2013, 12:11 PM   #1  
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I'm beginning to notice that my life is changing in that before most of my friends were drinkers/hung out at the bars, or going out to eat once or twice a week. It just seems like it is hard to have too much of a social life like that anymore. I know that good friends would understand that I am making these changes for the better, but I still think that I will be losing some friends and hopefully gaining healthier ones.

Did you lose any friends/family because of your weight loss and did you gain other more healthy friends in the process?
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Old 10-14-2013, 12:20 PM   #2  
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My life has changed a lot through this process. It helped that I moved out of state two years ago and when I started dieting I didn't have too many friends but the people I did associate with were really big eaters. My friends have learned to eat around my diet or to wait to eat pizza or whatever when I am not around. I have found that it is easier for me to just not be social or to eat before spending time with friends. It is really hard but it is something we have to learn to live with.

I think another hard thing is my boyfriend wanting to be able to have fun too and join the drinking activities. It is hard when you are the only sober person, so again I have learned to just skip out on those activities that would make me feel weak. You don't have to give up your friends or your life you just need to learn to change the way you interacted with people I guess you would say.
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Old 10-14-2013, 12:30 PM   #3  
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My life has changed a lot through this process. It helped that I moved out of state two years ago and when I started dieting I didn't have too many friends but the people I did associate with were really big eaters. My friends have learned to eat around my diet or to wait to eat pizza or whatever when I am not around. I have found that it is easier for me to just not be social or to eat before spending time with friends. It is really hard but it is something we have to learn to live with.

I think another hard thing is my boyfriend wanting to be able to have fun too and join the drinking activities. It is hard when you are the only sober person, so again I have learned to just skip out on those activities that would make me feel weak. You don't have to give up your friends or your life you just need to learn to change the way you interacted with people I guess you would say.
Good for you for achieving your goal!!!
I understand that I have been changing how I interact with people and it has been so hard. I just moved back to my hometown from overseas two months ago and before I left I used to go to the bars every weekend etc...now I'm not drinking and barely able to eat out like before. My life has totally changed and I feel like I need to meet like minded people and I tend to be alone alot too not having kids or being married like most of my friends.
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Old 10-14-2013, 01:49 PM   #4  
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Good for you for achieving your goal!!!
I understand that I have been changing how I interact with people and it has been so hard. I just moved back to my hometown from overseas two months ago and before I left I used to go to the bars every weekend etc...now I'm not drinking and barely able to eat out like before. My life has totally changed and I feel like I need to meet like minded people and I tend to be alone alot too not having kids or being married like most of my friends.
I have a boyfriend but no kids yet so I am sure that is really helpful. Surround yourself with people who understand what you are going through. You don't have to stop being friends with people just chose not to do the activities they want to do. Instead of going to the bar maybe invite them bowling or something that is active. In the long run you will feel better about yourself, you need to take this time to work on yourself and the life you want to live the rest will come into place as you work through your weight loss journey.
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Old 10-14-2013, 03:54 PM   #5  
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I have a boyfriend but no kids yet so I am sure that is really helpful. Surround yourself with people who understand what you are going through. You don't have to stop being friends with people just chose not to do the activities they want to do. Instead of going to the bar maybe invite them bowling or something that is active. In the long run you will feel better about yourself, you need to take this time to work on yourself and the life you want to live the rest will come into place as you work through your weight loss journey.
Awesome advice and that is what I am doing at the present time to change my life for the better. I appreciate you taking the time to respond. Honesty is important imo, not just to others, but more importantly to yourself.
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Old 10-14-2013, 04:08 PM   #6  
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Looks like we have similar stats too
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Old 10-14-2013, 04:22 PM   #7  
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My family are all home bodies, so for me there wasn't much of a change. My hubby has been deployed all but the first 4 days I was in P1, so I only had to work around my teenage daughter's social calendar.
Vacation was very different, traveled with a cooler full of P1 foods instead of eating crap on the road. Still managed to have a couple of nice restaurant meals being on plan.
Mostly the place I notice is at work, having to avoid the goodies in the breakroom and feeling bad because we always have to pick a place with a salad bar for birthday lunches.
I can imagine how hard it would be if you have more of a social life than I do!
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Old 10-14-2013, 04:47 PM   #8  
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As we get older, it becomes easier to do what is right for ourselves. The opinion of family and friends is important in some aspects of life, but at some point putting yourself first feels more than OK, and more important than a sideways glance form someone else..

It is not necessary to explain myself anymore, because I actually care more about myself than worrying what someone else thinks. Letting pressure from job/work, family, season or social situation really has very little to do with what I choose these days. It's liberating. For years, as I think back it was always easier NOT to question someone older than myself for any decisions they made. They after all were older and deserved to do what ever they wanted. Now I'm that person...it feels great...but too bad it took so long to feel I do deserve to make my own way socially.

No longer feel the need to stay home because I want carbonated water...or iced tea on a girls night out instead of wine. Choosing to opt out of lunch at the local sandwich hangout doesn't make me feel like I'm missing anything. LOL..it's usually a quick lunch if that's where they're going anyway, and probably not worthy of rearranging my day around it!! Nor does just ordering coffee when everyone else is having cinnamon rolls, muffin or a bagel and a schmear make me feel like I've got to explain. Mostly People don't bat an eye....They may say "is that all your getting?" and once I say "yes"..the convo really is on to something else pretty fast. After all, since my order is kind of boring it's not going to be worth more than a sentence or two to anyone else....I've discovered, what I'm eating or not eating or drinking is not nearly as interesting to anyone else, and I'm truly not interested in having what they are any more! I like getting up and putting my skinny clothes on!

It's easy to deflect the conversation at a food event...it just takes practice. And staying home won't get you that!
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Old 10-14-2013, 04:59 PM   #9  
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As we get older, it becomes easier to do what is right for ourselves. The opinion of family and friends is important in some aspects of life, but at some point putting yourself first feels more than OK, and more important than a sideways glance form someone else..

It is not necessary to explain myself anymore, because I actually care more about myself than worrying what someone else thinks. Letting pressure from job/work, family, season or social situation really has very little to do with what I choose these days. It's liberating. For years, as I think back it was always easier NOT to question someone older than myself for any decisions they made. They after all were older and deserved to do what ever they wanted. Now I'm that person...it feels great...but too bad it took so long to feel I do deserve to make my own way socially.

No longer feel the need to stay home because I want carbonated water...or iced tea on a girls night out instead of wine. Choosing to opt out of lunch at the local sandwich hangout doesn't make me feel like I'm missing anything. LOL..it's usually a quick lunch if that's where they're going anyway, and probably not worthy of rearranging my day around it!! Nor does just ordering coffee when everyone else is having cinnamon rolls, muffin or a bagel and a schmear make me feel like I've got to explain. Mostly People don't bat an eye....They may say "is that all your getting?" and once I say "yes"..the convo really is on to something else pretty fast. After all, since my order is kind of boring it's not going to be worth more than a sentence or two to anyone else....I've discovered, what I'm eating or not eating or drinking is not nearly as interesting to anyone else, and I'm truly not interested in having what they are any more! I like getting up and putting my skinny clothes on!

It's easy to deflect the conversation at a food event...it just takes practice. And staying home won't get you that!
65X65 - I love reading your sage advice because it has made it so much easier to eat out. I am quiet and confident about what I want at a restaurant and have never had an issue. Now I know the questions to ask the waiter to keep OP.

I also have realized that I am in this deal for ME. It does not matter than my DH is not with me on it because I am quite determined. Approaching 60, it is time for me to put my feet down and look after myself. I still do look after my children since one is still at home with us, but beyond that, I stand up for me. If not now, when?
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Old 10-14-2013, 05:38 PM   #10  
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65X65 - I love reading your sage advice because it has made it so much easier to eat out. I am quiet and confident about what I want at a restaurant and have never had an issue. Now I know the questions to ask the waiter to keep OP.

I also have realized that I am in this deal for ME. It does not matter than my DH is not with me on it because I am quite determined. Approaching 60, it is time for me to put my feet down and look after myself. I still do look after my children since one is still at home with us, but beyond that, I stand up for me. If not now, when?
Schnectedy-

So glad to hear you say this...if there is one thing I can pay-forward to all the IP ladies, {esp the ones who still are on the sunny side of 60}.......this is all about you...and don't EVER EVER feel like that's not OK.

We females really have a way of letting spouse, children, parental, sibling and employment needs rule our roost.



Guilt..usually there is lots of that. No time to really think and prioritize...?? uh-huh. Out of day before you're out of job.......?? ...That was how my usual days played out...most often.

No freakin' wonder it takes until some of that is off the dashboard to make some room for ourselves. Don't let it get to be too late...I almost missed the bus. And I know as well as any this is easier said than done....I failed miserably at if for way too long.

Last edited by 65X65; 10-14-2013 at 05:40 PM.
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Old 10-14-2013, 06:57 PM   #11  
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Schnectedy-

So glad to hear you say this...if there is one thing I can pay-forward to all the IP ladies, {esp the ones who still are on the sunny side of 60}.......this is all about you...and don't EVER EVER feel like that's not OK.

We females really have a way of letting spouse, children, parental, sibling and employment needs rule our roost.



Guilt..usually there is lots of that. No time to really think and prioritize...?? uh-huh. Out of day before you're out of job.......?? ...That was how my usual days played out...most often.

No freakin' wonder it takes until some of that is off the dashboard to make some room for ourselves. Don't let it get to be too late...I almost missed the bus. And I know as well as any this is easier said than done....I failed miserably at if for way too long.
Just keep sending me such positive thoughts and I will wandering down towards Onderland sooner rather than later. That is going to be my achievement of my life of the last 25 years...slight interruption of children, spouse, work, stress, etc. I think the loss of my parents the last few years also reminded me that I do NOT have forever to make this transformation to a swan.
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Old 10-14-2013, 10:01 PM   #12  
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As we get older, it becomes easier to do what is right for ourselves. The opinion of family and friends is important in some aspects of life, but at some point putting yourself first feels more than OK, and more important than a sideways glance form someone else..

It is not necessary to explain myself anymore, because I actually care more about myself than worrying what someone else thinks. Letting pressure from job/work, family, season or social situation really has very little to do with what I choose these days. It's liberating. For years, as I think back it was always easier NOT to question someone older than myself for any decisions they made. They after all were older and deserved to do what ever they wanted. Now I'm that person...it feels great...but too bad it took so long to feel I do deserve to make my own way socially.

No longer feel the need to stay home because I want carbonated water...or iced tea on a girls night out instead of wine. Choosing to opt out of lunch at the local sandwich hangout doesn't make me feel like I'm missing anything. LOL..it's usually a quick lunch if that's where they're going anyway, and probably not worthy of rearranging my day around it!! Nor does just ordering coffee when everyone else is having cinnamon rolls, muffin or a bagel and a schmear make me feel like I've got to explain. Mostly People don't bat an eye....They may say "is that all your getting?" and once I say "yes"..the convo really is on to something else pretty fast. After all, since my order is kind of boring it's not going to be worth more than a sentence or two to anyone else....I've discovered, what I'm eating or not eating or drinking is not nearly as interesting to anyone else, and I'm truly not interested in having what they are any more! I like getting up and putting my skinny clothes on!

It's easy to deflect the conversation at a food event...it just takes practice. And staying home won't get you that!
+1
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Old 10-15-2013, 09:55 AM   #13  
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It is hard to be on this diet when you are single and want to date. I am divorced, and I would like to start dating again, but I need to wait until I'm in maintenance because I don't want to explain all my food restrictions to my dates. I'm sure most guys won't care, but it's just not something I want to deal with right now. As far as friends go, I'm not very social right now because most social activities involve food and drinks. I know I can say no, but I don't want to be tempted.
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Old 10-15-2013, 11:43 AM   #14  
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It is hard to be on this diet when you are single and want to date. I am divorced, and I would like to start dating again, but I need to wait until I'm in maintenance because I don't want to explain all my food restrictions to my dates. I'm sure most guys won't care, but it's just not something I want to deal with right now. As far as friends go, I'm not very social right now because most social activities involve food and drinks. I know I can say no, but I don't want to be tempted.
Just spend this time focusing on yourself and making you happier, everything else will get easier and fall into place. I have been doing the same thing and now going into phase 4 I will have my "fun day" which I will plan to spend with friends and loved ones.
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