Hi, my name is Amy & I WAS an emotional eater.
I WAS also a stress eater, and a boredom eater.
Food (esp. carbs) was my way to self-medicate, calm down, & slow down.
I need to find a way past this.
I have lost 77 lbs on IP and I am "losing my fat suit."
I am about 20 lbs from goal, and NOW I am struggling.
Struggling with all the emotions I am feeling.
Struggling with feeling vulnerable when people respond to me positively.
Struggling with a mix of joy/fear when men "notice me."
Struggling with wanting my weight loss to make my husband happier with me.
Anyone else struggling with their feelings? What feelings come up for you? Any maintainers have thoughts to share? *Thanks*
I am not as far along as you (not even close, yet) but wanted to say, thank you for your post. Is this something you can discuss with your coach at all? The emotional side of obesity is rarely talked about, and probably the #1 cause! I feel like I will face the same struggles, like you have verbalized my future and can't wait to read others' replies. You are not alone in your feelings and perhaps just by sharing them you can find your answers.
excellent thread. For me my "fat suit" was my armor. I could be invisible while in plain sight. I agree so much with the mixed emotions about being noticed. Joy and TERROR. I have no solutions, just that I do not want to go back there, even though it was so comfortable. I have decided to see a counselor who deals alot with eating disorders and body image stuff. Even though I am smaller, I am still a Fat Chick in my own head. I celebrate the NSVs (not recognizing myself in a photo, fitting better in car and plane seats, moving easier). It is getting better, so that is the hope i can offer.
That's the kind of thing I was talking about in my post yesterday about food addiction counseling and therapy. You guys are all living proof that IP works ... but when I get to where I'm being noticed again, etc., etc., etc., how do you deal with that? Food has always been my friend. Food has always been there. Good times and bad. When I have a reeeeeally bad day at work, food comforts me at night. I wish I had the answers for you, but I know we can't be the only ones looking for them!!
I feel ya. I feel like I am starting to become vulnerable which I hate!!! People are noticing my weight loss - on one hand, I like it, but on the other hand, I just want to stay invisible. There really are a lot of complex emotions involved in this process which I can't even begin to sort out yet. I am just trying to let myself feel the emotions. I am trying to do the work I have to do on myself - it is all for me this time. (and for my husband, but I need to make this mostly about me.) And that feels selfish....another issue is the guilt I always feel about EVERYTHING. I am trying hard to let go of the guilt, I am trying to give up the control that I feel I have to have over everything.
We will get there. It is great to know that we are not alone in this struggle, and that others may have some helpful advice. Good luck with your realizations, revelations, or wahtever you want to call them. We are all rooting for you!!!
I discussed this issue with my coach at my last WI on tuesday. For some reason, I am insecure with my new body. People are noticing me again, which is something I haven't experienced in the 3-4 years that I carried extra weight around. It's also hard to see myself as I really am. I still see the 200-pound girl when I am naked. My coach said that it's normal, she still saw herself as fat for years after her weight loss. It takes work, and a modification of your perceptions of yourself.
I remember when I dieted before IP. As soon as I'd get below a certain weight, I'd get scared and stop, regain the weight, as if I had some kind of barrier to going lower than that. Losing my protection, as if I didn't allow myself to become "sexy" after all that time of feeling ugly. I'm having some pretty complex psychological issues with this weight loss, a mix of joy at finally reaching my goal soon, and a mix of fear at feeling so different than what I used to be. I still tend to gravitate towards the bigger clothes section in stores, and look for stuff that "hides" my body. Yet, when I wear something form-fitting, I feel strangely good for the first time in years.
So you are not alone. I have those mixed feelings constantly. I am a carb addict, and a walking ball of anxiety. My weight loss has taken away my comfort source, and I know I cannot ever go back to it. Stepping this far out of your comfort zone always carries emotional side effects. Hang in there, and remember you are not alone. Most of us have the same problem at some degree. Congrats on the amazing loss!
I am not as far along as you (not even close, yet) but wanted to say, thank you for your post. Is this something you can discuss with your coach at all? The emotional side of obesity is rarely talked about, and probably the #1 cause! You are not alone in your feelings and perhaps just by sharing them you can find your answers.
Leona, one of the reasons I started this thread here is because all 3 coaches at my Doctor's office (where I do IP) are in the "had to lose 30 lbs" category. I really think that until you have actually WORN a "fat suit" (aka been morbidly obese), you do not have any perspective on how differently really heavy people treat themselves/are treated by others. I have been looking on blogs from women who have lost weight and doing Google searches on emotional eating and losing weight and emotions - and I think you are right...sharing helps and expressing our concerns/fears/experiences allows us to deal with them together, instead of being isolated.
Quote:
Originally Posted by swimcoachmomma
excellent thread. For me my "fat suit" was my armor. I could be invisible while in plain sight. I agree so much with the mixed emotions about being noticed. Joy and TERROR. I have decided to see a counselor who deals alot with eating disorders and body image stuff.
I think seeing a counselor is a good idea. I may look into it, but I also want to hash it out with my "3FC Friends." I was talking with a friend today about my hubby interpreting all my newfound energy & "get 'er done" attitude as me being "upset" & she pointed out that suddenly, my husband is married to "a new woman" who is changing her relationship to food, her own body & other people. She's right!
Quote:
Originally Posted by AngieBaby41
That's the kind of thing I was talking about in my post yesterday about food addiction counseling and therapy. You guys are all living proof that IP works ... but when I get to where I'm being noticed again, etc., etc., etc., how do you deal with that?
Thanks! Angie, I have had a weight yoyo my whole life...because I do have challenges getting used to "the new me" and other people's responses to her (men especially when I was younger/single). i think part of our journey is to learn healthy boundaries WITHOUT relying on the "fat suit" to do it for us. So...let's work together & support each other as we "shrink" into a healthy place of self-love and self-care.
Quote:
Originally Posted by sanibelover
I am trying to do the work I have to do on myself - it is all for me this time. (and for my husband, but I need to make this mostly about me.) And that feels selfish....another issue is the guilt I always feel about EVERYTHING. I am trying hard to let go of the guilt, I am trying to give up the control that I feel I have to have over everything.
We will get there.
I think even acknowledging that there is a huge emotional component (both positive and negative) to losing weight is part of the key. Being brave enough to say out loud "I am doing this for me, AND it scares me. I intend to change my life forever" helps.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Kikie
So you are not alone. I have those mixed feelings constantly. I am a carb addict, and a walking ball of anxiety. My weight loss has taken away my comfort source, and I know I cannot ever go back to it. Stepping this far out of your comfort zone always carries emotional side effects. Hang in there, and remember you are not alone. Most of us have the same problem at some degree. Congrats on the amazing loss!
It helps to hear that others have been/are in this emotional process. I have really noticed anxiety spiking lately (there are huge real world changes in my house, my job & my husband's workplace) - in the past, I would stuff all this down with a huge plate of nachos and a couple beers. Now I have to do the hard work of feeling it all... and my husband has to "man up" and go through it with me without taking it personally!
I love you guys! Thanks for helping me "put this out there" for everyone who has thought about it, felt it, & needs to know they aren't alone.
I think this is a great thread and will be following it closely. I think food is one of my "core issues." I too am an emotional eater, so as time goes by (because I will be on IP for quite awhile) I will try to look at the whole emotional aspect of it. As others have mentioned, I guess vulnerability has something to do with being smaller. I think I might use my body as an armor. So I will be reading carefully, other posts on this thread.
I can understand many of the mixed feelings experienced here. At first no one noticed my loss, then I started to get the atttention and remarks. I actually got tired of being the center of conversation and being asked how I was doing it. I reached a point where I wanted people to stop talking about it..and just let me eat my salad in peace. You can feel uncomfortable with all of this attention.
as time went on I also received negative comments..like you are thin enough go ahead and eat some cake.
So it has been a year and 10 months since I have embarked on my journey.
The good news is that the habits developed in IP have helped me maintain..and not turn to food for emotional eating like I used to.
I think eating low carb and staying away from sugar has helped.
My husband was very supportive for most of this journey. However, he has also had to adjust to a new thinner wife. At times he has been insecure by me being thin. He has lost weight himself, but still needs to lose more.
Initially after reaching goal, I went through great anxiety..will I gain this back?
I also felt very wierd about buying clothes in smaller sizes, fearful that I would not fit them in a few months. However, that has passed..for the most part I am very happy and tell myself that this time I have changed my life for good.
I can understand many of the mixed feelings experienced here. At first no one noticed my loss, then I started to get the atttention and remarks. I actually got tired of being the center of conversation and being asked how I was doing it. I reached a point where I wanted people to stop talking about it..and just let me eat my salad in peace. You can feel uncomfortable with all of this attention.
as time went on I also received negative comments..like you are thin enough go ahead and eat some cake.
So it has been a year and 10 months since I have embarked on my journey.
The good news is that the habits developed in IP have helped me maintain..and not turn to food for emotional eating like I used to.
I think eating low carb and staying away from sugar has helped.
My husband was very supportive for most of this journey. However, he has also had to adjust to a new thinner wife. At times he has been insecure by me being thin. He has lost weight himself, but still needs to lose more.
Initially after reaching goal, I went through great anxiety..will I gain this back?
I also felt very wierd about buying clothes in smaller sizes, fearful that I would not fit them in a few months. However, that has passed..for the most part I am very happy and tell myself that this time I have changed my life for good.
I hear what you are saying. I have bouts of physiological anxiety as well especially as I enter phase 4. Very worried about regain. Still seeing myself at my highest weight of 265, even though I am 170. I have had to really challenge my cognitive distortions and see what core beliefs they were coming from, and them talk back to them, one by one. This is work that will have to continue for me long term as these thoughts are always there, enem if they get weaker. I would recommend cognitive behavioural therapy for anyone out there struggling like this. Find a good therapist who will not minimize your struggles and really challenge you to be honest and do DAILY work.
GemIam, this is such a wonderful thread. Thank You! I am new to this program, and part of the reason it is working for me is that it offers limited choices. My life had become so out of control. I felt like I was just being whipped around by the stress in my life in between managing it by eating myself calm and comforted. I have whittled away so many of my old friendships --because I would be MORTIFIED to have anyone see how much weight I have gained over the years. The more narrow and isolated you make your world, the easier it is for food to fill that void.
I am super motivated to stay OP but I am also terrified that I will put the weight back on once it is gone. There is that old expression about addiction --It's like curing a headache with a hammer--that is how I feel about my relationship with food. It is just so embarrassing to me sometimes. How can I know what I am doing when I put the food in my mouth, and know what a negative impact it will have on my life and STILL DO IT over and over again. I want those days WAAAAY behind me--so nice to see that there are others with the same struggle.
Even though I have not reached my goal yet, I remember when I was younger, once I had a good fit body, when I was between the age of 24 and 26, I had toned biceps and very flat tummy (something I dream about now), I remember how I used to get angry about everyone noticing me or making a compliment whatsoever, because in my mind, I was thinking: ''you fool, stupid person, now you see me? I am still the same person who was fat once and you never saw me then'', I never felt that I was fit, unfortunately, I wish I did, cause this same exact feeling led me to gain back all the weight .
What can we do, we have to accept that we are doing this in order to be healthier and not focus about what others say or think.
Emotional Impact of Weight Loss
It helps to hear that others have been/are in this emotional process. I have really noticed anxiety spiking lately (there are huge real world changes in my house, my job & my husband's workplace) - in the past, I would stuff all this down with a huge plate of nachos and a couple beers. Now I have to do the hard work of feeling it all... and my husband has to "man up" and go through it with me without taking it personally!
I love you guys! 
--so nice to see that there are others with the same struggle.
.
