3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   Advice- Anger, Guilt & Shame (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/ideal-protein-diet/264501-advice-anger-guilt-shame.html)

lotusflowerbomb 08-13-2012 12:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wuv2bloved (Post 4436165)
Ok, I am sorry if I offend you in anyway because that is NOT my intention. There are a few things I see here.....
1. You are thinking about food you CAN'T have RIGHT NOW....think about the food you CAN have now.
2. When you go astray with ONE thing you haven't totally messed up your day....its ONE...go back on program, do NOT allow yourself the WHOLE day and expect not to gain.
3. Your 15month old could have done WITHOUT all of the foods you stated you ate. YOU fed that to your child....YOU made that choice....its all about what you CHOOSE. YOU put it in your mouth, no one else.
4. Your friend asked if you could have it on your diet, she was asking in trying to HELP you NOT eat it....again YOU chose to eat it...she was giving you an OPTION.
5. Even though you VOW to NOT do it again, its something you HAVE to put your mind to....ITS NOT EASY....TRUST ME....66 WEEKS OF SAYING NO is NOT easy. I went to 2 buffets this weekend. My son sat and ate PECAN pie in front of me, this is my FAVORITE pie in the world. Did I give in and have ONE BITE????.....NOPE.....I sat there and ate my veggies and meat, I did not give in to the sushi or any of the fried food on it...did I WANT IT????? YES!!....BUT I CHOSE NOT TO HAVE IT.......yesterday went to a Pizza buffet....what did I have....a HUGE salad then walked around to the other side of the bar, passing up all of the pizzas, calazones, pastas and dessert pizzas along with ice cream to the BBQ chicken, green beans and cabbage. Once I got to the table I removed the skin from the thighs which had the BBQ sauce on it and I was good. Again DID I WANT IT YES.....BUT I chose NOT to have it. I know that I WILL be able to eat SOME of that again but I can't right now.

You are NEVER alone, there are MANY of us on the SAME journey as YOU....make smart choices in the foods you chose, you will happy that you did. Oh and another thing, If you are thinking this much about the food you CAN"T have and not LEARN how to eat, which foods are best for you then you WILL go BACK to eating your OLD ways and 9 out of 10 times GAIN all of your weight back....IP trains you how to NOT go back to your OLD HABITS...its up to YOU to learn what it teaches you

WOW! Talk about tough love. I needed to hear that message too. Thanks.:hug:

Pilgrimage 08-13-2012 12:50 PM

I'm sorry to hear that you are having these struggles! I can't imagine going through this whole program without a slip-up or two. You are on the right track and just made a slight detour! The important part is getting right back on with a fresh start. I know you can do it! You are soooo close to your goal, closer than a lot of us.

If you know you are going out (and MAN the fair is HARD!!) Take your favorite IP food with you. Pack a fun picnic! Even switch dinner for lunch if you have to. Have a yummy steak salad while you are at the fair, then have a big veggie omelet for dinner. Anything you need to do to stay on track.

I helped my daughter prepare the food for church yesterday (cream cheese danishes, chocolate cupcakes arrrghh!!) and it was hard! As soon as church was over I ran out to the car and grabbed my favorite restricted southwestern puffs and enjoyed every bite. I knew I had those waiting so it helped get through that. Hope that helps, and glad you posted here to get some encouragement instead of giving up! That shows a lot of courage already. :-)

knm 08-13-2012 01:04 PM

I've been reading this forum for a couple weeks now. I'm not one to normally post comments, I just read what others have to say, but Sherah, I was in the same situation last week, and figured I'd give you my input/let you know what's happened since.
I started this diet May 29. I followed it with next to no cheats for close to a month. I slowly started allowing myself granola bars here and there, or little bags of salted almonds. It wasn't enough to make me gain weight, but I also stopped losing weight. This went on for most of July. Finally two weekends ago I binged. I binged for about 4 days straight (these cheats included cookie dough, bun and crackers with cheese, and wine gums), come Wednesday I felt like a beached whale. I called my coach and scheduled an emergency meeting. She weighed me and I was up 5 lbs from my WI the previous Friday. She talked me through it. Told me I was back to square one as far as having to go through the headaches and cravings again, but I was still down 10 of the 20 lbs I wanted to lose. I got back on track and by Friday (only 2 days later) I lost 2.8 of those lbs, and by Saturday I was down another 2.6.
My point is, I know the number looks scary on the scale, and the next couple days will probably be hard, but you've done it before and you can do it again. I took twice as many of those "poop pills" (sorry, I can't remember the correct name) as I normally do for three days straight to get my body working again, and drank a couple extra glasses of water each day. Chances are your probably not going to the bathroom quiet as regularly as you did before your cheats, and you're retaining water because of all that salt.
You can get back on track, you just need to stick it out for a couple days.
I always just say to myself, "Food can only satisfy you for so long, once you get to your goal weight your happiness will last much longer."

yowzer 08-13-2012 01:15 PM

Thank you Wuv for posting your "tough love" and thanks to everyone on this thread in sharing you're struggles.

Sherah71 08-13-2012 02:08 PM

Thank you to everyone for your stories, advice and TOUGH LUV :)

Sherah71 08-13-2012 02:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wuv2bloved (Post 4436165)
Ok, I am sorry if I offend you in anyway because that is NOT my intention. There are a few things I see here.....
1. You are thinking about food you CAN'T have RIGHT NOW....think about the food you CAN have now.
2. When you go astray with ONE thing you haven't totally messed up your day....its ONE...go back on program, do NOT allow yourself the WHOLE day and expect not to gain.
3. Your 15month old could have done WITHOUT all of the foods you stated you ate. YOU fed that to your child....YOU made that choice....its all about what you CHOOSE. YOU put it in your mouth, no one else.
4. Your friend asked if you could have it on your diet, she was asking in trying to HELP you NOT eat it....again YOU chose to eat it...she was giving you an OPTION.
5. Even though you VOW to NOT do it again, its something you HAVE to put your mind to....ITS NOT EASY....TRUST ME....66 WEEKS OF SAYING NO is NOT easy. I went to 2 buffets this weekend. My son sat and ate PECAN pie in front of me, this is my FAVORITE pie in the world. Did I give in and have ONE BITE????.....NOPE.....I sat there and ate my veggies and meat, I did not give in to the sushi or any of the fried food on it...did I WANT IT????? YES!!....BUT I CHOSE NOT TO HAVE IT.......yesterday went to a Pizza buffet....what did I have....a HUGE salad then walked around to the other side of the bar, passing up all of the pizzas, calazones, pastas and dessert pizzas along with ice cream to the BBQ chicken, green beans and cabbage. Once I got to the table I removed the skin from the thighs which had the BBQ sauce on it and I was good. Again DID I WANT IT YES.....BUT I chose NOT to have it. I know that I WILL be able to eat SOME of that again but I can't right now.

You are NEVER alone, there are MANY of us on the SAME journey as YOU....make smart choices in the foods you chose, you will happy that you did. Oh and another thing, If you are thinking this much about the food you CAN"T have and not LEARN how to eat, which foods are best for you then you WILL go BACK to eating your OLD ways and 9 out of 10 times GAIN all of your weight back....IP trains you how to NOT go back to your OLD HABITS...its up to YOU to learn what it teaches you

Wow, It's amazing how a different perspective can change everything. Thank you for giving it to me straight! I got my "Big Girl Pants" on now :) No more pity party for me!

wuv2bloved 08-13-2012 02:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sherah71 (Post 4436460)
Wow, It's amazing how a different perspective can change everything. Thank you for giving it to me straight! I got my "Big Girl Pants" on now :) No more pity party for me!

WHEW!!...I was hoping you would take it the way it was meant to be...You are strong....just BELIEVE in YOURSELF!

Chloe222 08-13-2012 08:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Tyler7 (Post 4436274)
I feel ya! I'm so good up until Saturday's then it's really tough. For me, cake, sweets, etc is not tempting...it's those couple of glasses of wine that I used to have with my husband that I miss. We just bought a new home, my birthday is coming up and we're having a huge house warming next Saturday and I'm just dreading not being able to have "fun" is guess. I'm not an alcoholic by any means but I do enjoy a few drinks with my friends...just hard.

I know it's not forever but on the weekends it seems to drag!

What helps me when others are having their drinks is to have my chocolate shake. The milk component of the taste seems to take the urge to drink alcohol away. Put it over ice, as if Baily's Irish Cream. Hope that helps you.

drakegirl 08-13-2012 08:57 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wuv2bloved (Post 4436165)
Ok, I am sorry if I offend you in anyway because that is NOT my intention. There are a few things I see here.....
1. You are thinking about food you CAN'T have RIGHT NOW....think about the food you CAN have now.
2. When you go astray with ONE thing you haven't totally messed up your day....its ONE...go back on program, do NOT allow yourself the WHOLE day and expect not to gain.
3. Your 15month old could have done WITHOUT all of the foods you stated you ate. YOU fed that to your child....YOU made that choice....its all about what you CHOOSE. YOU put it in your mouth, no one else.
4. Your friend asked if you could have it on your diet, she was asking in trying to HELP you NOT eat it....again YOU chose to eat it...she was giving you an OPTION.
5. Even though you VOW to NOT do it again, its something you HAVE to put your mind to....ITS NOT EASY....TRUST ME....66 WEEKS OF SAYING NO is NOT easy. I went to 2 buffets this weekend. My son sat and ate PECAN pie in front of me, this is my FAVORITE pie in the world. Did I give in and have ONE BITE????.....NOPE.....I sat there and ate my veggies and meat, I did not give in to the sushi or any of the fried food on it...did I WANT IT????? YES!!....BUT I CHOSE NOT TO HAVE IT.......yesterday went to a Pizza buffet....what did I have....a HUGE salad then walked around to the other side of the bar, passing up all of the pizzas, calazones, pastas and dessert pizzas along with ice cream to the BBQ chicken, green beans and cabbage. Once I got to the table I removed the skin from the thighs which had the BBQ sauce on it and I was good. Again DID I WANT IT YES.....BUT I chose NOT to have it. I know that I WILL be able to eat SOME of that again but I can't right now.

You are NEVER alone, there are MANY of us on the SAME journey as YOU....make smart choices in the foods you chose, you will happy that you did. Oh and another thing, If you are thinking this much about the food you CAN"T have and not LEARN how to eat, which foods are best for you then you WILL go BACK to eating your OLD ways and 9 out of 10 times GAIN all of your weight back....IP trains you how to NOT go back to your OLD HABITS...its up to YOU to learn what it teaches you

Wuv - I LOVED what you wrote! I'm sure you know what an inspiration you are to all of us but lately I was wondering if it's ever still a challenge for you to stay OP. After 25 weeks, there are days I really just want to move to phase 2 and then I think about how long you have been doing this and I know I can make it too. It IS about choices and if you want it badly enough - you do what needs to be done to stay 100% OP. thanks for keeping us all honest with that!

wuv2bloved 08-13-2012 09:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drakegirl (Post 4436856)
Wuv - I LOVED what you wrote! I'm sure you know what an inspiration you are to all of us but lately I was wondering if it's ever still a challenge for you to stay OP. After 25 weeks, there are days I really just want to move to phase 2 and then I think about how long you have been doing this and I know I can make it too. It IS about choices and if you want it badly enough - you do what needs to be done to stay 100% OP. thanks for keeping us all honest with that!

That is why I always ALWAYS say If I offend anyone its not my intent. I get very frustrated when I see people complaining after being OP for a few weeks or even months. You HAVE to WANT it bad enough to do it. IF you don't have that WANT then you won't get it. Of course I want to be done and move to the next phase BUT I am not there yet, knowing this I keep pushing through everything. I know I WILL BE THERE SOON and that is good enough for me!

explore 08-14-2012 08:17 AM

The support here is truly amazing. Today is a brand new day!

ChunkyMonkey33 08-14-2012 11:41 AM

New Orleans Girl here - well live here now, originally from Lafayette, LA! And yes I HEAR your southern voice - and I imagine you took off your earrings before you said it, and hand gestures were involved haha. :)

GO STRONG SOUTHERN WOMEN! :)

mammoth357 08-14-2012 12:18 PM

Its amazing to me how much we beat the heck out of ourselves. We are human beings with emotions and we ALL have our faults. We "meet" here, in a common goal, to fight the good battle against our weight and as we are not "perfect" (thank God) we falter and have mis-steps and trip along the way. We are on the "dance-floor" that is life and even professional "dancers" trip-up and fall sometimes.

So what's the big deal?!
3.5 pounds...and its like the world just ended!? Nah...no one got terminally ill here, thank goodness! Its only water weight anyway from knocking yourself out of ketosis. Get back on plan, and it will gone within 3-4 days....

This "diet" is no different from any other diet in that you have to have conviction, and you have to really want to succeed. You should expect set-backs, but yet you should be dedicated to the concept of "winning"...of achieving and reaching your goal, of forging ahead at all costs regardless of mis-steps.

This is the LAST time you will "Diet"...you WILL achieve your goal, and once there, you WILL maintain it for the rest of your life.

For me, I look at it like a person who is in prison. I was "sentenced" to do time...but there will be a time when I am FREE and then I will be on good behavior so I never have to do "time" again!

Learn to want what you can have. Instead of thinking of pizza (which I do often)...think of new ways to make your dinner meat...experiment with new herbs and spices. New combinations of veggies and new sauces.

I used walden farms apple butter (zero calories, carbs, fat etc) to make an awesome sauce for my grilled pork for example. OMG it was like I won the lottery or something! It felt more like fine dining rather then oppressive dieting!

We have options. It is up to us to use them and push that envelope to get the most out of "what we CAN have"...and by doing this, we are all learning how to make better choices so we have a better chance to never being overweight again.

This is the LAST dieting I ever plan to do.
And YES, I am hungry ALL the time...so what? I am "doing my time". I did not put my weight on "overnight" and it is OK if I have to "suffer" some now to get it off me. Pretty soon that "suffering" will transpose into simply my new way of eating all the time and be "natural"!

Keep forging ahead! You CAN do this!
Cheers
Jake

wuv2bloved 08-14-2012 12:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ChunkyMonkey33 (Post 4437332)
New Orleans Girl here - well live here now, originally from Lafayette, LA! And yes I HEAR your southern voice - and I imagine you took off your earrings before you said it, and hand gestures were involved haha. :)

GO STRONG SOUTHERN WOMEN! :)

LMAO girl I am from Kaplan!!!

marlenesuer 08-14-2012 12:40 PM

Wuv2bloved (and I ALSO so hope no one takes offense at this) I totally understand what you mean.

I'm baffled when people are complaining after being on plan for just a few days or couple of weeks! I don't get it. A few weeks is NOTHING if you compare it to the goal you're trying to reach.

I'm not saying the plan is easy - but if you're looking for easy, then this might not be the best route. Nothing, and I do mean nothing - nothing that we want in life and have to work for, is going to be easy.

I also find that sometimes, people waaaaaay over think the program too much and over analyze it too much.

Quote:

Originally Posted by wuv2bloved (Post 4436881)
That is why I always ALWAYS say If I offend anyone its not my intent. I get very frustrated when I see people complaining after being OP for a few weeks or even months. You HAVE to WANT it bad enough to do it. IF you don't have that WANT then you won't get it. Of course I want to be done and move to the next phase BUT I am not there yet, knowing this I keep pushing through everything. I know I WILL BE THERE SOON and that is good enough for me!



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