3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community - Intuitive Eating Support Thread

3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/)

- General Diet Plans and Questions (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-diet-plans-questions-10/)

- - Intuitive Eating Support Thread (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-diet-plans-questions/304796-intuitive-eating-support-thread.html)

Hi everyone.

Welcome to our new members and a welcome back to Tam Tam!

I have mentioned before that I am really struggling with the diet mentality. The primary reason for this is that I had some blood work done about two months ago and discovered that I am pre-diabetic. My A1C is at 5.7 and it has been told to me that that is in the pre-diabetic range, so of course I reacted as many would and the doctors recommend - diet time!

I started counting calories again and did well for about 5 days, then once again fell off the wagon. I am not a binge eater but I just started eating for reasons other than hunger. I haven't gained any weight but I haven't lost any other. I go by how my clothes fit because I just can't bring myself to get on the scale.

I have been struggling mightily, knowing that I do need to lose some weight but also knowing that dieting is now an impossibility for me. So then I find myself deciding to restrict certain types of food, and of course that ends badly as well.

So I woke up this morning and decided that today is the day that I am going to truly eat ONLY when I am hungry, as I am now pretty doggone good at determining when that is. I have learned over the last few years that hunger is not an emergency - probably the most important lesson that IE has taught me - but I have also learned that I simply cannot allow myself to get TOO hungry as that always leads to me overeating.

Yesterday I decided to have a nice breakfast around 9:30 am - two eggs scrambled, 3 pieces of bacon, and two slices of wheat bread. As usual, that held me for a very long time, and I really did not think about eating until I started getting really hungry around 4:00 pm. Here was the problem; I was going to Mass at 5:00 pm and I didn't want to eat supper before then but I knew I would be ravenous by the time I got out and got back home. So I grabbed one of the 100 calorie granola bars my husband gets for his lunches and ate it right before leaving. Sure enough, it quelled my hunger quite a bit and I didn't eat supper until around 7:00 - hungry, but not terribly so.

As long as I have been a student of IE I have still resisted the concept of eating something - ANYTHING - to keep me from getting too hungry. I don't know why, but I have. Yet I watch thin people do this sort of thing ALL THE TIME. They are hungry, they don't have time to eat a meal, but they know they have to eat something or else they will be miserable until they can eat. And they don't think twice about it.

Because of my experience yesterday, and because I am just so tired of worrying about my weight and what I should do, I made a vow that henceforth and forevermore I will live my life as a naturally thin person, regardless of what the scale says, the mirror shows, or the clothes indicate. I will not think about what I am going to have to eat until it is time to eat. I will eat something that satisfies my physical hunger, regardless of what it is. And I will eat only enough to stop me from being hungry, because I am a naturally thin person and that is what naturally thin people do.

Southern Maven I missed you the most!

Quote:

Originally Posted by SouthernMaven (Post 5197930)

I keep trying to post a reply but it won't go through!! Ok one more time. Sounds like a great plan to me!! I am "fasting" from the scale. I have given myself no weigh ins until the end of September. I did not want to freak out and say never weight in again, so I am doing small "fasts" until I can feel good about giving it up entirely. Have a blessed day!!!:hug:

Forums and Message Boards and Chat rooms

Do any of you belong to any other IE forum or message boards of chat rooms,(do they still even have chat rooms?) Just curious.:hug:

I post on the intuitive eating community at http://www.intuitiveeating.com. I know Palestrina posts there as well.

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Originally Posted by Locke (Post 5197969)

I post on the intuitive eating community at http://www.intuitiveeating.com. I know Palestrina posts there as well.

Thanks!

Quote:

Originally Posted by Locke (Post 5197969)

I post on the intuitive eating community at http://www.intuitiveeating.com. I know Palestrina posts there as well.

I used to post there but haven't done so in quite some time. It wasn't super-active then - I may have to go back and check it out again.

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Originally Posted by SouthernMaven (Post 5197980)

I used to post there but haven't done so in quite some time. It wasn't super-active then - I may have to go back and check it out again.

It is still not that active

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Originally Posted by Palestrina (Post 5197729)

That is a lot to deal with, I'm so sorry to hear about the loss of your friend. It's difficult to understand what goes on in the mind of someone who wants to leave this life, it must be tremendous strain and anguish. You must be torn to bits about this. I didn't know that about your mother, I don't know what I would do in a similar situation but I do hope that she is receiving treatment at least for her family's sake. A colleague of mine has dealt for years with her adult daughter's schizophrenia. The daughter refuses to continue treatment. After many years of counseling my friend has reached the very difficult decision to cut her daughter out of her life. It was at a point where she was being hurt more than she was helping her daughter. It's a terrible disease.

You and SouthernMaven both have mentioned artistic expression as an emotional outlet. I'm a professional musician myself so I can appreciate the merits of art, if only my profession didn't make me a stressed out lunatic most of the time lol. My husband is an artist and illustrator and he often laments that while grown ups may continue to appreciate music and dance in their adulthood most do not continue to draw or make art past their school years. Maybe it's time for you to take a class, engage in art in a meaningful way!

Thank you Palestrina, My friend is very upsetting. My mom is sad and tragic. I haven't talked about her because I have been keeping her condition secret from everyone in my life in an attempt to protect her and feeling disloyal for talking about her. I finally told my dad (they have been divorced for 20 years) and my brother a couple of months ago and it was such a relief to not feel like I am carrying the burden alone. I have discovered since that talking about it really helps. She doesn't believe anything is wrong with her and she refuses treatment. I worry that I may be in the position of your colleague with her daughter at some point if she continues on. It is gut wrenchingly painful. I know she loves me and I love her so much but she can't see past her mental illness and I have to protect my kids and my family as well. :(

I used to draw all the time even though I have never believed I was any good at it. I realized when I was doodling how much I missed it. A class is a great idea. Also, how cool that you are a professional musician! My dad just bought me a used/rebuilt piano. I used to play as a kid/teenager and I have always loved it. It has helped me so much over the years. I am going to get some old lesson books and reteach myself what I seem to have forgotten so I am really excited and feeling positive about that.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Palestrina (Post 5197734)

I wanted to comment on this specifically because it's an issue that is true for me. I can always go back and assess that I was stress eating or emotional eating. But at the time it really just feels like hunger. To me it's like compartmentalizing. I'm working hard to not fall in the traps of emotional eating but I've come to realize that I cannot work on emotional eating head on. It's not something I can stop in its tracks, I have to accept that. Maybe some can redirect their emotional hunger but I cannot. What I can do is deal with stress before it gets out of control. I know that when I'm overeating it is because I don't want to feel something in particular, and I don't want to face a situation. I have to let go of trying to control the eating part. What I can control is facing up to my stress at other times. Deal with my procrastination. Deal with the paperwork. Answer those emails. Put aside time to do my work, because if I let it pile on that's when I want to hide and eat and I will avoid everything until I'm so full and out of food and have no choice but to go back and do that work that I put off.

When I tackle my stress preemptively, the situation of emotional hunger does not arise.

Right, exactly. At the time it just feels like hunger. I have been trying to deal with my stress and emotions head on but maybe I just have too much going on. I think I still try to deny my feelings though so maybe that is still at play more than I realize.

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Originally Posted by beginme (Post 5197847)

Welcome new folks.
@pink, so sorry for the loss of your friend
@palestrina, so sorry you have been struggling.

I've had some struggles myself. One being that almost every time I type a post, it gets erased and I get kicked out of being logged in. Ugh.

thank you beginme. Sorry you are having trouble posting. That sounds so frustrating!

Quote:

Originally Posted by TamTam (Post 5197943)

Do any of you belong to any other IE forum or message boards of chat rooms,(do they still even have chat rooms?) Just curious.:hug:

I recently joined a few intuitive eating groups on facebook but so many people there are still struggling with the diet mentality that it was shockingly triggering for me.

Southernmaven, I have tried to eat when I am hungry and only when Im hungry and I always fall off after a few days because its so much work, constantly checking in with myself, figuring out what I want to eat etc.. I know that sounds funny. I would love to do as you say though, and I keep on trying.

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Originally Posted by Pinkhippie (Post 5198046)

Southernmaven, I have tried to eat when I am hungry and only when Im hungry and I always fall off after a few days because its so much work, constantly checking in with myself, figuring out what I want to eat etc.. I know that sounds funny. I would love to do as you say though, and I keep on trying.

Pinkhippie, that's all you can do...just keep on trying!

My goal all along has been to relegate food to its proper place in my life; that is, as a source of nutrition and not as an outlet for stress. I am firmly of the belief that food can be a source of pleasure as well, but it doesn't have to be each and every time we are hungry. An example of this was Sunday when I had to eat that granola bar just to keep from being miserable. It tasted good but wasn't exactly what I would call pleasurable, if you know what I mean!

Yesterday was a good day for me. I didn't eat until 11:00 am (which is generally my pattern) and I ate a tuna salad sandwich. It tasted good and it satisfied me for a long time. I started getting hungry around 5:00 so I had a handful of pistachios along with a glass of wine. About 6:30 I decided I needed something else to eat and we had some leftover pizza so I had ONE slice. And that is the sum total of what I ate all day and I was not at all hungry when I went to bed.

Now I'm pretty hungry and it's a little before 9:00 am here. My daughter is off today and spent the night with us as she had an early dentist appointment and the dentist is 10 minutes from us and almost an hour from her house. She'll be back around 9:00 and we'll go eat breakfast someplace. I don't know where and I'm not sure what I'll eat, but I know I will enjoy it, as eating out is always a treat for me.

We just have to keep on keeping on. It's all we can do.

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Originally Posted by SouthernMaven (Post 5198165)

It's true, food has way more of a place in my life than just nutrition. I think I don't like paying close attention to when I am actually hungry and satisfied because the truth is, I don't really eat that much food when I do that. It seems my body doesn't need as much food as I have been giving it. And I feel like I spend all day waiting to be hungry. I guess I just like to eat for many reasons besides nutrition. It is something to think about.

Yesterday sounds like a great day with food! That is how I used to eat before I got obsessed. I don't know how or when it happened but I went from not really thinking of food unless I was hungry to thinking about if I was hungry and if my body needed food like all the time. Argh.

I hope you enjoyed your breakfast! Eating out is always a treat to me too as we don't do it that often. :)

Went to the drug store and pick up some medication. While I was there I wanted to get a few things to put in a food bag that I will be putting together. In Overcoming Overeating they suggest you do this so that when you are hungry you have the foods you want and enjoy when hunger comes around. This is good for me because I work at 3 different locations and I can bring my bag with me wherever I am working. I like this drink. It's a natural fruit drink with fiber. I drink 1/2 in the mid morning and the other 1/2 in the afternoon. I wanted some nuts to go with it and in my head I am thinking almonds (because they are the healthy nuts) but I am wanting cashews. I got the cashews because it's what I WANT not what I should have. I got the individual bags. So far I have had half the drink with half the bag of nuts. I also ate and did not look at the clock so I could see about what time hunger would come around again. Have a blessed day!:hug:

[QUOTe

I recently joined a few intuitive eating groups on facebook but so many people there are still struggling with the diet mentality that it was shockingly triggering for me.
[/QUOTE]

You also have to watch this on 3FC also. I find that this is the ONLY group I can talk to. I have been on the others, like the 100lb. club, the 50 something club and a few others ad I have to stay away from them because they put me in the diet mentality and some can be depressing. So I just stay here. I do not even read other threads.

TamTam,

I have this thread bookmarked and it's the only thing I visit here. At worst the rest of the forum is triggering and at best it just makes me feel so sad for people.