Tiny public bathrooms

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  • Men would be just as gross if they had pads to deal with.

    EW to not washing hands! I guess I'm lucky because peeps on my floor actually wash (or maybe they feel obliged because I do?) their hands before leaving. I'm so paranoid, I take a paper towel to open the door because I don't want pee germs on my hands.

    I HATE pee drops on the seat!!!! WHYYYY!!! Just plunk your dumb *** down, pee, FLUSH (another pet peeve) and leave!! Don't leave a mile worth of TP and pee spots to boot.

    Mmmpf. Seems like I'm just riled this morning, aren't I?
  • Oh, this made me laugh. Here is some more bathroom humor I've saved because it makes me laugh every time I read it.- I thought it was a good fit here.

    > > My mother was a fanatic about public bathrooms. When I was a little
    > > girl, she'd take me into the stall, teach me to wad up toilet paper
    > > and wipe the seat. Then, she'd carefully lay strips of toilet paper
    > > to cover the seat. Finally, she'd instruct, "Never, NEVER sit on a
    > > public toilet seat.
    > >
    > > Then she'd demonstrate "The Stance," which consisted of balancing
    > > over the toilet in a sitting position without actually letting any
    > > of your flesh make contact with the toilet seat. By this time, I'd
    > > have wet down my leg and we'd have to go home to change my clothes.
    > >
    > > That was a long time ago. Even now, in my more "mature years, "The
    > > Stance" is excruciatingly difficult to maintain, especially when
    > > one's bladder is full. When you have to "go" in a public bathroom,
    > > you usually find a line of women that makes you think there's a
    > > half-price sale on Nelly's underwear in there.
    >
    > > So, you wait and smile politely at all the other ladies, who are
    > > also crossing their legs and smiling politely.
    > > You get closer and check for feet under the stall doors.
    > > Every one is occupied.
    > >
    > > Finally, a door opens and you dash in, nearly knocking down the
    > > woman leaving the stall. You get in to find the door won't latch.
    > > It doesn't matter. The dispenser for the new fangled "seat covers"
    > > (invented by someone's Mom, no doubt) is handy, but empty. You would
    > > hang your purse on the door hook if there were one - but there isn't
    > > - so you carefully but quickly hang It around your neck (mom would
    > > turn over in her grave if you put it on the FLOOR!), yank down your
    > > pants, and assume "The Stance." Ahhhh relief. More relief.
    > >
    > > But then your thighs begin to shake .You'dlovetositdownbut
    > > you certainly hadn't taken time to wipe the seat or lay toilet paper
    > > on it, so you hold "The Stance" as your thighs experience a quake
    > > that would register an eight on the Richter scale.
    > >
    > > To take your mind off of your trembling thighs, you reach for what
    > > you discover to be the empty toilet paper dispenser. In your mind,
    > > you can hear your mother's Voice saying, "Honey, if you would have
    > > tried to clean the seat, you would have KNOWN there was no toilet
    > > paper!"
    > >
    > > Your thighs shake more. You remember the tiny tissue that you blew
    > > your nose on yesterday - the one that's still in your purse That
    > > would have to do.
    > > You crumple it in the
    > > puffiest way possible. It is still smaller than your thumbnail.
    > >
    > > Someone pushes open your stall door because the latch doesn't work.
    > > The door hits your purse, which is hanging around your neck in front
    > > of your chest, and you and your purse topple backward against the
    > > tank of the toilet.
    > >
    > > "Occupied!" you scream, as you reach for the door, dropping your
    > > precious, tiny, crumpled tissue in a puddle, and sliding down,
    > > directly onto the insidious toilet seat. You bolt up quickly;
    > > knowing all too well that it's too late. Your bare bottom has made
    > > contact with every imaginable germ and life form on the uncovered
    > > seat because YOU never laid down toilet paper - not that there was
    > > any, even if you had taken time to try.
    > >
    > > You know that your mother would be utterly ashamed of you if she
    > > knew, because you're certain that her bare bottom never touched a
    > > public toilet seat because, frankly, dear, "You just don't KNOW what
    > > kind of diseases you could get."
    > >
    > > By this time, the automatic sensor on the back of the toilet is so
    > > confused that it flushes, sending up a stream of water akin to a
    > > fountain that suddenly sucks everything down with such force that
    > > you grab onto the toilet paper dispenser for fear of being dragged
    > > off to China.
    > >
    > > At that point, you give up- because you are soaked by the splashing
    > > water. You're exhausted. You try to wipe with a gum wrapper you
    > > found in your pocket, and then slink out inconspicuously to the
    > > sinks.
    > >
    > > You can't figure out how to operate the faucets with the automatic
    > > sensors, so you wipe your hands with spit and a dry paper towel and
    > > walk past a line of women, still waiting, cross-legged and, at this
    > > point, no longer able to smile politely.
    > >
    > > One kind soul at the very end of the line points out that you are
    > > trailing a piece of toilet paper on your shoe as Long as the
    > > Mississippi River! (Where was it when you NEEDED it??) You yank the
    > > paper from your shoe, plunk it in the woman's hand and tell
    > >
    > > her warmly, "Here, you just might need this."
    > >
    > > As you exit, you spot your hubby, who has since entered, used and
    > > exited the men's restroom and read a copy of War and Peace while
    > > waiting for you. Annoyed, he asks, "What took you so long, and why
    > > is your purse hanging around your neck?"
    > >
    > > This is dedicated to women everywhere who have ever had to deal With
    > > a public restroom (rest??? you've got to be kidding!!).
    > > It finally explains to the men what really does take us so long.
    > >
    > > It also answers their other commonly asked question about why women
    > > go to the restroom in pairs. It's so the other woman can hold the
    > > door and hand you Kleenex under the door.
  • I keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse and use that instead of washing my hands when there are no paper towels. I will not use the dryers; they scare the crap out of my kids & don't dry my hands. So if you see me scooching out of the bathroom without washing my hands, realize I've used the Purell.

    But yes, I hate tiny public restroom stalls. I don't like using the handicapped stalls, but with three kids I pretty much have to. Even when I only take in the potty trained ones, there is not enough room in one of the normal stalls.

    I share the pee-on-the-seat peeve. If you're gonna pee standing up like a man, lift the seat like a man! (Use your foot, you germophobe, & talk to me sometime about the bacteria levels in a toilet vs your kitchen sink.)

    My biggest frustration with tiny bathroom stalls came at Babies R Us in Chesapeake, VA. A seven-months-pregnant woman does not need to be climbing up on the toilet to open the door!

    And WHY must all the stall doors open INWARD?
  • My peave with the Chesapeake's Babies R Us the one time I visited...they had a nice little private changing/sitting room for the little ones. But they need to empty the diaper pail more often than "after overload". Pewwwwwwwwwwww!
  • Glad I could help!
  • Hahahaa! This is SO funny, but SO true. When I first started working here, I would go home for my fifteen minute break before and after lunch to use the restroom. Now I'm a little better. I spray down the toilet with my own personal stash of lysol spray and then wash my hands and hold on to the paper towel until I'm at my desk.

    I also tend to hold it WAY too long when I'm on the road. Once I made it from my house to my parents' without going. Problem was it's a 7 1/2 - 8 hour drive and I couldn't hug them for needing to pee so bad. They thought it was funny, but I was SO embarassed!!
  • hehehe. i used to do that. i'd wait all day to avoid the public restroom...

    as a result, now when I have to go, i have to go NOW!!!! and there is no waiting, not even 10 minutes most of the time. it's sad. *L* i swear all i do is pee, once i got up 4 times in the middle of the night. ugh.
  • he he he
  • When my SIL was pregnant ... big, huge pregnant ... I'd always use the small stall and leave the handicapped for her. She started to cry once because she thought I thought she was too fat for the regular one.
    I was just trying to be courteous
  • Quote: When my SIL was pregnant ... big, huge pregnant ... I'd always use the small stall and leave the handicapped for her. She started to cry once because she thought I thought she was too fat for the regular one.
    I was just trying to be courteous
    LOL Chalk it up to hormones. I've never been a crier. Old Yeller doesn't affect me. But I cried over....CARTOONS, while I was pregnant. Go figure.