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BlueToBlue:
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lilybelle: Quote:
Speaking of which i have another excellent story. Okay so the ex and I have been split a few years and a friend I still stay in touch with from high school and her hubby now live up about 10 miles from us so we see each other every so often. Anyhow, her hubby is a policeman in a town about 20 miles away and she called to tell me that my ex almost got taken away for burglary charges and he almost got shot!!! Her dh got called for back up and it turns out it was my ex, a friend of his, and my ex's dad. The story that checked out was that his friends sis owned the house and said they could come over and get the cans and go cash them in. I guess the neighbours thought they were burglarizing the place and called the cops!!! In the midst of all this the cops told all 3 suspects to get their hands up where they can see them, ya know the drill from cop shows. My ex put his hands in his pockets!!! The cops freaked, thought he was going for a weapon or something and almost shot him!!! They wound up slamming him up against the car instead! Her dh didn't stay long once he realized who my ex was and that the situation was under control. My ex didn't recognize him though. My gosh I was laughing so hard, that was just like last week! I told her to tell her dh next time to just shoot him!!! Ask questions later!!! ;) ;) What an idiot! Oh after all was said and done about him putting his hands in his pocket, my ex's comment to the cops was, "Oh, I'm a little slow". hahahahahahahahah almostheaven: Quote:
lizziness: Quote:
lilybelle: Quote:
EZMONEY: Quote:
lizziness: Quote:
lilybelle: Quote:
isthatreallyme: Be careful! Silly parents! Oh man I could make a huge list about my mom! Like being outside on a rainy day, wearing a shower cap and watering the lawn! I kid you not! She just didn't get it!!! :lol: Early on in her marriage my dad had told her there was "elements" in the water. She thought he said "elephants" and the next day her and her best friend were down on their knees under the sink looking for the elephants! :lol: |
Jasmine, although my DH has his DUH moments, it can't compare with my XH.
He's the one that while chopping a small bush down at the back of the house, hit his leg with the Ax and ended up in the ER for stitches. He also fell off the roof of our 2 story house while putting up Christmas lights and landed in the back yard with our dogs. The dogs attacked him , not expecting someone to fall out of the sky. He was working for a furniture company and fell out of the back of a semi-truck while caring a TV and has since been on permanent disability. Man, I'm glad I dumped his clumsy butt. |
We were in Majorca many years go
It was siesta time and we were looking for the Father Junipero Sera museum. We drove by a group of people having a picnic. I had boobalah stop the car and I yelled out the window. "Do you speak English?" He looked at me funny and said, "What if they don't?" I looked quizically at him and replied, "If they speak English, they'll understand 'Do you speak English?'!"
What a funny look I got from him! |
lilybelle:
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hahaahahah Oh my gosh! that is hilarious the dogs attacked him! Was he hurt? (I hope so! *snickers* ) :lol: I bet you are so glad to be ridd of him. My ex was an OTR truck driver and he managed to get on disability during our divorce to avoid paying me $1700.00 a month for child support! They sound like two peas in a pod! cbmare: Quote:
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I was always the *silly* one.
Once when I was about 10 years old my class had swimming lessons, well being that it was first thing in the morning I wore my bathing suit under my clothes, but forgot my undies. So the next lesson I wore my undies over my bathing suit,,,forgot and ran and jumped into the pool,,,so again I didn't wear undies that day. Then when I worked in this grocery store, I was told I had to work the big checkout. There was 2 of them, you walk into it, then pull the conveyor belt across, (locking you in) the scanner was huge and facing it, there was a bigger conveyer belt with the food to be scanned, we were trained to use both hands going back and forth scanning food (looked a bit like swimmer motion) anyways after a couple of hours of this, its quite the workout. I made a comment to my coworker on the other big checkout. Gee all we need is a step master, and a vibrator belt. ( ment vibrating belt,,) anyways that pretty much screeched my coworker to a halt, she was laughing so hard,,,didn't help that her customer kept asking me what I ment by vibrator... arghh I was just a kid! Anyways,,,that Christmas guess what my co worker bought me...lol |
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Lol, Angelia
I had a similar funny at Walmart recently. I was paying out with my groceries and my DH came to the register with a new fishing pole. He said, this one is better, it isn't as flexible. I said, "Good, you needed a Stiffer Rod", the cashier turned beet red and started laughing. LOL, it embarassed my DH. |
My dad is very famous for his "accidents." At one time we teased him about being like "Tim the Tool Man Taylor" (remember that show? Home Improvement)
I remember one time he was cleaning out the floor vents in the house. He told my sister and I a million times to watch where we were walking so we didn't fall in them since he had the covers off them. As you've probably guessed he was walking through the kitchen and stepeed right into one. We laughed our butts off as he fell about 2 feet down. :D My dad is very obessive about his cars. One speck of dirt and he's washing it inside and out. One time he was cleaning the inside of the car in the garage. When he was done he was backing the car out of the garage to wash the outside. He had forgotten to shut the driver side door. LOL he took the door right off the car. Funny to us all now but at the time he was of course livid. One more and my personal favorite.... I was in the bathroom painting my nails when I was a teenager. My dad was fixing the bathroom sink at the same time. Well needless to say, he forgot to turn the water off before he started his projected. All of a sudden there is water shooting out everywhere. I swear it looked just like it does in the cartoons. As if the sight isn't funny enough watching him try and stop the water he gets this bright idea to stick his face in the water to stop it. OMG I was laughing so hard I fell into the bathtub crying. My mom saved the day by running in and turning off the water. Still cracks me up when I think about it! Soooo many more stories but those are a few of my favorites! :D |
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:lol: :rofl: :lol3: Linda |
I have done the zzzaaapppp thing at work with an industrial outlet. OUCH!!!
I hate when my husband calls me at work and asks me either: where are the hotdogs? >hello check the fridge behind the milk!< OR What do you want me to do with the laundry > THROW IT ON THE FLOOR AND DANCE ON IT!< He also will spend hours looking for one of our remotes to turn on the TV/DVD/Satelite rather than go up to the TV/DVD/Satelite and pushing the power button. :) I have no common sense when it comes to putting things together and I have infact follwed the directions to a T (when putting my sons high chair together) And dont ask me how but I put it together a little backwards. It took him 4 hours to take it apart to fix it :o |
I almost forgot about my dad's zap. When I was 11 or 12, he was tinkering with our old TV, trying to fix it. I think at that age, even I knew you should unplug it first. Just scared the crap outta him, but if the TV had been fixable...it wasn't anymore.
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