Okay well I need to freak out a little bit right now.

I am 3 months into a masters degree in natural science and I am getting very overwhelmed. I can't really complain to friends or family because they will tell me to suck it up and just do it (which I Know i will do but.... just not quite yet). I've worked really hard to get where I am... I'm 21 and I got an honours degree and a scholarship to continue with a masters degree. The thing is.... is that I think i've just been fooling everyone. I'm not as smart as they think I am. I don't exactly think i'm stupid, but i'm in way over my head.
To make matters even worse... I seem to have set the bar very high for myself... My supervisor is telling everyone (other grad students who are SOOOOOO smart) how much progress I've made and to look to me as a role model. When I heard that I seriously started hyperventallating. Yeh, I have made alot of progress.... but no more than anyone else would have made!!! I wish I could say that I am just being modest but I'm not. ANYONE with any basic understanding of what I'm doing could have done what I've done so far.

Now, to make matters worse.... I just found out that I have to present 2 seminars about my original research before I graduate. In front of ALL the professors, graduate students and affiliates in my department.... AHHHHH.
I am not a good public speaker.

I just needed to vent.

-D.

Hi Delilah,

There are times in our careers when we all feel this way sometime or the other. When we experience lack of confidence and tryly believe that we are not as smart as some think we are. In my opinion if someone says or gives you a certificate/scholarhip it proves that you are better than others and you must be confident of yourself because noone is as smart as you think they are.

I can understand why you are so low on confidence i this crisis situation of presenting your thesis in 2 months time. Dont think that u are fooling anyone unless you forged your scores or certificates.

Just work hard with a single goal in your mind and you will jam it!

I think most people have feelings of insecurity at times. Women especially suffer from what I call the fraud syndrom. As in, "one day the rest of the world is going to find out that I am not competent." We undervalue our own accomplishments. I know I do it all the time. I always say anyone could do what I do and I am no smarter than anyone else. Maybe yes and maybe no. The important thing is to do your very best every day. No one can expect more than that.

Hi, I agree with everyone, not just any body gets a scholarship! and they wouldn't have asked you to speek if they didn't have confidence in you. Look your 21 and your on your way to having a Masters! Good for you!! Take some deep breaths, and do the best you can, that's all anyone exspects, take one day at a time and just think what your going to end up with!! Good Luck.

Thanks everyone
I am feeling better today... yesterday was just overwhelming!
I'm still stressed out but I'm going to forge on and see what happens. I just hate feeling stupid when everyone expects that I know the answer. I guess everyone hates that feeling but I think I was on overdrive yesterday.
Anyway, I'm sure I'll pull through. *sigh*

Thanks guys.
-D.

A few years ago I had the unique experience of seeing the Dalai Lama speak at a public appearance he was making. Here is a guy who is the leader of an entire religion (and a country if he wasn't exiled) and I was really in awe of just being in the same room.

At one point in the evening, someone got up and asked him "What is the best way to deal with the situation in Iraq? Should we continue our war or try other peaceful means of resolution?" You could almost feel everyone in the auditorium lean forward, in great expectation of this answer from this incredibly intelligent, well-respected man whose entire religion is based upon peaceful interaction with the world. I wondered if he would just rattle off some cliche bs about "love not war" or if he would offer a deeper insight. After a few moments of silence and pondering, he looked up and said "I don't know the answer."

It was at that moment that my respect for him grew tenfold. I think that was the most honest, heartfelt answer he COULD have given. I mean its true - how the heck does anyone know the answer to that question? He was simply reminding us that he's a human being, as we all are, and even with all the knowledge in the world, sometimes IT'S OK TO JUST NOT KNOW THE ANSWER.

My main point here is, don't beat yourself up. You obviously hold yourself to a very high standard, but at some point you've got to pat yourself on the back and say "damn I'm good."