Say you stumbled across an email your boyfriend/husband wrote to a girl that said " I miss you and your smile and you're in my thoughts often"....likely someone he's been sexual with in the past.....
Well, being the jealous girl that I am, Id be very hurt and Id immediatly confront him about it. It could be nothing though, so I wouldnt get too upset until you ask him about it.
It would totally depend upon the situation. If I KNEW it were just a friend (it IS okay for people of the opposite sex to be friends) I'd be okay with it. If it was meant as something more I'd probably try to find out the truth by doing a little digging without his knowledge. To be sure there was nothing going on.Sneaky yes, but I'm being honest. That's what I'd do.
Im too jealous for that, if i found that I would be steaming mad, and there had better be lots of good explaining coming my way. But like I said I am a jealous person, I like to be the queen of my castle, and the only queen!!
I'm still friends with my ex, but we only talk once a month. He lives 4 hours away and we dated 4 years. there's no way in **** we'd get back together, because he makes a sucky boyfriend, but a good friend. I still tell him I love him once every few months, and that I miss sitting and talking with him, but I tell all my friends that. My boyfriend trusts me implicitly, and he is right to do so. I'd talk to him about it.
It would depend on when the conversation took place.
My mother in law sends us boxes containing my husbands old things every now and then when she cleans out the basement, attic, or an old bedroom. We'd been married for only a couple of years and I was pregnant with our first child (in other words I was a hormonal basket case). She sent a box that contained cards and letters he'd saved from when we were in college. There was all of this correspondence from other women and mine weren't there (we'd dated on and off since high school). He'd even dated girls I didn't even know about! I just cried and cried. Where were MY letters!?! I was so hurt. Well, it turns out he kept my stuff seperate from everyone elses. I didn't believe him when he told me that. Imagine my surprise a couple years later when MY box of stuff arrived in the mail.
Fast forward a to just a few years ago. Another box arrives and this one contains old journals. Oh, my some of the details made me blush - and laugh my butt off. Yes, it was strange to read these intimate thoughts he had about other women. But he married ME so I didn't care. We've both laughed at the close call relationships that we each had in the past. And we both know we are lucky to have each other so neither of us really cares what happened before "us."
Now, if I were to happen across a letter or email that made it obvious that there had been sexual contact (or intent) since we've been married he'd have some explaining to do. He's had ex girlfriends call since we've been married and that doesn't bother me. These were significant relationships and I don't see anything wrong with him catching up with old friends (even intimate ones). Most of them were perfectly innocent and the one that wasn't ended with him hanging up the phone telling me how glad he was THAT one didn't work out. We had a good laugh at her expense (although, I'd be terribly surprised if he weren't at least a little smug about the proposition!).
In other words, it is important to put the email into context before you react to it. If you think you've been cheated on a confrontation is absolutley in order.
I'd tread water for a little bit and see what else you come across...even if you have to dig a bit. Then, if you find other 'inconsistencies'...just dump him. I know that sounds a bit uncaring or harsh, but really, if you can't trust him now, you never will be able to and things will only get worse. Life is too darn short to waste it spending time with someone that you can't trust. Dump him and hang out with your friends and see if another nice guy comes along you can be secure with. No harsh feeling for him, it just didn't work out. He may be like the guy mentioned above...great friend, lousy boyfriend.
Of course, this is assuming this is a boyfriend you are talking about...if he's your husband and you have kids...that's a whole nuther ball of wax.
First of all how do you just stumble across an email that belongs to your boyfriend/husband? Sounds like you guys either 1. have an relationship secure enough to where you don't care if you look at each others email or 2. you somehow went into his email without his knowing.
IF it is number 1 where you just happen to go into each others email and it's no big deal..then WHY would he write a letter like this to another girl knowing that you WILL find it? Therefore it is probably nothing to worry about and you shouldn't have a problem in asking him about it because he knows that you read his outgoing and incoming emails.
IF it is number 2 and you were purposefully snooping around in his emails and he doesn't know that you snoop and wouldn't want you snooping, then perhaps you don't trust him as much as you thought you did in the first place because you felt a need to go searching into his emails...perhaps something happened to make you THINK he was cheating or was interested in someone else? If this is the case, then you can tell him you found the email, then he will not be happy and not be able to trust you for looking into his email...could be totally innocent, or you could just not say anything to him about finding the email and just keep your eyes peeled for any signs of cheating and so forth.
IF it was me, and the reason you stumbled across the email was number 2 then I would explore the reasons of why I went through his email account searching for something. Why don't you trust him? Has he given you a reason not to trust him such as cheating in the past. Those kinds of things. Then I would tell him the reason that I went searching through his emails and I would tell him that it maybe wasn't the right thing to do but I feel I can't trust you because of this and this causes a problem in our relationship, furthermore I found this email in your email account and what does this mean. He won't be happy you went through his email acount.
I don't know how you stumbled across the email but the point is, is if I found that email, regardless how I found the email, I would be pretty upset. I just think that you have to remember though that if you guys normally search each other's emails and it's not a big thing between you two then I don't think he would be stupid enough to write an email like that knowing that you would find it..and it is all probably innocent and he shouldn't have any problems answering your questions about the email..but if email accounts are normally off limits to each other..he may not be happy about you snooping, it looks as though he is hiding something, and you have to find out from yourself first why you don't trust him before asking him about the email. It's all pretty tricky really..just depending on the circumstances.
Im too jealous for that, if i found that I would be steaming mad, and there had better be lots of good explaining coming my way. But like I said I am a jealous person, I like to be the queen of my castle, and the only queen!!
Yes, I would be the same way.
I don't think there's anything wrong with snooping if you are suspicious.
If he is cheating, you have a right to know, whether you have to snoop or not.
I'm sorry if I was seemed mean on the whole snooping thing. I really didn't mean to come off that way. It was only after I looked back at my post that it does sort of seem mean. My brother in law just recently broke up with his girlfriend of 7 years because she was so called "snooping" into his email. She found some pictures of another girl in his email , but come to find out he didn't ask for those pictures , they were just sent to him and he hadn't even opened the email to know they were even there. Plus she keeps bringing up issues that happened like years ago but anyways that really has nothing to do with what is going on with you . I know that every couple has their own views on this whole email thing. I don't really care if my husband is looking into my email..we just don't care. But if I thought he might would be cheating on me then I would more than likely check the email. But there would have to be good reasons for me thinking that. Anyways, I just hope that whatever it is that you are going through that it gets worked out..every couple does things there own way and I by no means like to be judgemental..so I do hope that it all gets worked out and I hope that it was all innocent and that you got answers to why he would write such an email.
Off Topic re:boyfriend/husband
