I am 35 years old and have been married for 4 years. My husband and I are thinking about having a baby next year but I am DEATHLY afraid of giving birth. Are most labors that painful?

My best friend just had a baby and she said that the epidural helped her push because it numbs you but she said that the pain was still unbearable. She said she thought that she was going to die!

Well I won't lie and say childbirth can't be painful, BUT once you see your baby the pain becomes unimportant......

On a bright note, some births aren't painful at all......Just do some research and see which method would be best for you......

I won't share my TWO horror stories, but I will say that if you decide on an epidural, MAKE SURE there will be someone there 'round the clock to give it. Babies don't wait for the anesthesiologist to come to work at 8AM!!!!

Even though I ended up having to have an emergency c-section, I thought my gall bladder attacks to be much more painful than the labor pains I experienced. I agree that if you do a ton of research before hand and are prepared for it, it isn't so bad. I know many women who will hire a doula to be with them and she's someone who can really help you through the pain.

good luck.

I'll spare you my birth stories! BUT...I will tell you that what you hear about the pain being forgotten are TRUE! I have no idea of how it happens / works! But... most of us would have only 1 child if it was any other way! I think it is very natural to be afraid...... of the whole thing.... not just the pain!

I adore my babies...*even* () at nearly 14 and 10! I'd do it all again in a heartbeat AND would have had more had my fear of not having enough $ over ridden my desire for a busload of kiddos!

Labor is what you make of it. SOme people don't have any pain, but those that do forget about it after the baby is here. Do your research and know what else is out there in terms of pain management. (I work for OB's that do homebirths with no pain meds). Most of all be comfortable with your decisions, know that there is only one right answer for you and your husband at this time.

I have had 3 c-sections, but the labor I had was nothing I could not have gotten through(my cramps were worse)

Look at it this way, an awul lot of women have more that one baby so it can't be THAT bad. I believe that the more you worry about it the worse it is going to be. The whole process of having a baby is absolutley amazing and every minute of it should be enjoyed.

Remember, too, that some people just can't stand not to tell you how awful their experience was. Why, I don't know. If you ask me, birth stories should fall under the "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all" rule. Follow upswife's advice. Do your research, know your options and you will be fine.

Oh, and my first son was premature. When labor began I thought I just had to go to the bathroom really, really bad. I am convinced that had I been full term and had reason to think those cramps were labor they would have seemed much more painful because I was scared of labor and delivery thanks to everyone's horror stories. That actually made my subsequent labors much easier because I'd had the opportunity to feel that pain without considering all of my preconcieved notions. I was realistic - delivery certainly isn't pain free, and things can go wrong - but I didn't go into them expecting the most excutiating pain imaginable either.

All I can say is that you forget whatever pain you feel. It is immediate once you see your child. I had epidurals w/ both of my children. I felt something but I can't remember! I do remember seeing my children for the first time...

carafre

My mom said the same thing - she'd glady have five more babies, natural, than one more gall bladder attack.

In my prior post, I thought the same thing Jawsmom said
"If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" That, in my opinion, shoule be an unwritten rule especially when discussing childbirth.....

I appreciate all of the feedback. I agree that the anticipation of pain can make any situation worse.


Lisa

Lisa: I always thought if I became pregnant I would go through 9 months of horror worrying about the pain. I'm such a baby when it comes to pain (no pun intended, ha!). But I was thrilled when I got pregnant and was so excited to meet my son I just couldn't wait and didn't really think about the birth process at all.

I'd heard all the people saying "Yes, it's painful but you forget about it after you see your child." All I remember was the first part, "yes it's painful" and thought the rest was bs just to keep me from panicking.

But then the day came and my water broke and I headed to the hospital. 15 hours of labor, 1-1/2 hours of pushing and they finally decided to do a c-section. I got an epidural early on and the only time I felt pain was right after all the pushing when the drugs started wearing off and the contractions were hot and heavy. Yes, it was very painful for those few minutes, but then they added more drugs to the iv or whatever it is they do, and it went away again.

You may think drugs are not the way to go and that's a personal decision. If so, remember what someone else said, tons of women have more than one baby, so you can live through the pain. But if you don't mind going the epidural route, DO IT! You'll enjoy the whole experience without having to worry about the pain.

Good luck with whatever you decide! Babies are precious.

I agree with the others who said their gall bladder pain was worse than giving birth! OUCH! I would glady give birth another 4 times than ever have to endure another gall bladder attack! I've had four babies and who's to say it is painful. There was pain but it is all worth and as I said I would do it again. My first I was in labor with for 22 hours, not hard labor. It hurt but honestly I was ready to go home the next day-the doc wouldn't let me, darn. The others were more painful but the whole thing only lasted 5 1/2 hours-smooth sailing. Every one is different so what is painful to one may not be as painful to another so who's to say it is. Good luck to you and your hubby!

The best way I can explain how it feels.....your period cramping and achyness....it pretty much like that, but more intense. Its not so much pain as it is pressure your going to feel. I ended up with a totally natural child birth...due to circumstances beyond my control. Id do it again in a heart beat. I cant imagine not feeling when Im suppose to push. Its a pretty specatular experience.