I've doula'd at Hospital births. I chose a home birth for that reason.

I have both of my birth stories wrote up if you would like me to share them with you. In fact, birth photos are here: www.midwifemama.com/darlene
It was a home water birth.
Dar was born 9 pounds 6 ounces 19" and 11 months later, Daphne was born 9 pounds 7 ounces 22" long. Birth is like sex. Its just not the same for everyone, every time can be different, and expect to lose control at some point!
I really recommend Heidi Gocer's A thinking Woman's guide to Childbirth.
An epidural is always your option, but a lot of the time more interventions can equal more problems.
I wish you luck and if you any questions or would like to read my birth stories PM me.

Oh, and also - As soon as they are born You probably will forget the pain. With my first it was like that, with my second...I still remembered it, but I was excited to have the baby in my arms!

Take care,
EM

(PS) Please, do not make What to Expect when your Expecting your main source of reading while pregnant. It could very possibly make you very very paranoid and unafraid to listen to your own voice!

Also, now this will sound weird and totally fruit-cake'ish, but I have met women who have had nearly pain free births! Either naturally or with the help of Birthin from Within classes.

EM: You make me want to have another baby!! I love the pictures!!

Lisa: One thing that made ME feel very excited about giving birth was watching Baby Story on TLC. The worst thing you can do is talk to strangers when you're showing...you know...people in the store and things. I heard the worst, horrific stories about child birth, "I was in labor for three days!!" "I practically had to have my leg amputated to give the baby room to come out!" "I had an episiotomy practically from my navel to my tailbone!" "When I had a C section, they sewed my bladder into the incision and I nearly DIED!!" And I'm thinking...what makes these people think I really want to hear these horror stories at this juncture of my life? These things don't really happen and I'm sure these people are probably laughing at the horrified looks I have them.

In actuality, I love the memories of both of my kids' births. Does it hurt? Absolutely, at least a little. It's a lot like period cramps only you get a nice, beautiful baby after its over instead of an empty bottle of Advil. And it goes in waves, so you have PAIN, then a nice breather to say, "Wow...that sucked!" and get ready for the next. The only warning I'll give you is that when they talk about the 'urge to push'...it's not like you have an urge to do something, like going to the bathroom...it's like your whole body decided to do try and push out the baby without consulting your brain first. Everybody goes..."Don't push! Don't push!" and I was like, "I'm not! I'm not! My uterus has taken over and has developed a mind of its own!" It doesn't really hurt, it just takes you by surprise is all. Nobody warned me about this...I had to figure it out on my own...so now you know.

Anyhow...I took Lamase classes and they helped me TREMENDOUSLY. It's all a personal preference. Some people get really into it and do things all natural and do things at home, like EM, which is totally cool, too. I took Demerol because of the horrific labor stories I heard, but I really didn't need it. To tell the truth, it just made me sleep in between contractions, leaving me only awake during the painful part. I didn't get that...I wanted to sleep through the pain, not the in-between breaks! My second, I didn't have a drop of medication and I was fine. My first labor was about 12 hours with an hour of pushing and my second was 2 hours total. My first was a relaxed, drawn-out experience, till I started to push and my second was a two hour whirlwind of , "Holy crap! The baby's coming out any minute!" The first had a grape head because she was in there a while, the second had a perfectly round head because he came flying out so fast. Which is funny because they're both like that in real life....my DD is kinda lazy and in no hurry whatsoever in anything she does and my son is totally on fire to get things done and runs around like his butt's on fire constantly! Isnt' that funny?

In other words...you'll have your own personal labor stories to tell after you have your baby and it'll become as much a part of your life as your wedding, engagement, graduations, etc. It's an exciting thing to go through and if it were totally hellish, everyone would only have one and none of us would have gone back for more. Not only is every person different with their stories, but every baby is different! But they are all blessings and well worth every bit of blood, sweat and tears you put out during labor!!

lol Tech, about the demerol part. I didn't handle natural cb like it was nothing. I beat my pillow and screamed "Take me to the hosp. I want an epidural" & "call 911, this sucks ***!" during my labor with darlene.
Luckily they gave me some wild lettuce, valerian root & something else in a tincture & I could sleep (I'd been up well over 24 hours. It was bed time when labor started). I was thinking alright, sleep!! But, no such luck. I'd sleep between contrax & then I'd be wide awake for the back labor. No fair! LOL
I found laying in bed worsened the contrax 1000 times worse for me, once I got on the birth ball or in the water things were alright until transition. Then "This sucks ***" became my mantra!
You are so right about it becoming a huge day of your life. I love birth, all aspects, the high you get afterwards, the baby...Everything!
Birth Stories are here : Www.mothering.com/discussions and click on birth stories. ALL kinds of birth stories, ceasarean birth, home birth, hospital birth, outside birth...It was really cool to read when I was pregnant and fun for me afterwards. Plus, they are updated daily as women have their babes.
Anyways, Tech was right on

If your really don't want to give child birth,
than why not just adopt a parentless child? This world is over populated anyways.

I had twins girls in November last year. I was in labor 5 hours and was 5 cm. My babies had turned during labor so I had to have a C-section. It really wasn't bad at all. Even though it sounds too good to be true... when you hold your baby in your arms for the first time, you forget the pain you went through! I am not able to have children without major medical help, but if I could get pregnant on my own... I would have another baby all over again in a heartbeat!

Just remember... every woman is different! When it's time to deliver your baby... you'll be ready! I promise!

I have had 4 great (well 3 great and 1 first) births- didn't even need an epidural. Pregnancy on the other hand...lol. I would much rather give birth! There is definitely a fear/pain cycle and the more prepared you are and the less you fear it the less it will be a negative experience. jmo!

Labor does hurt (of course) but my son is 6 now and I truly don't remember the pain of labor. I was put on pitocin so I was having stacked contractions. I remember getting to the point where I felt I needed some relief. It took the anesthesiologist 9 tries to get my epidural in and he had to leave twice because of emergencies. Even with those delays everything was ok. After the epidural was in it was just very manageable pressure. You will do fine. My advice would be to decide what kind of birth you want to have and find an ob that supports that. Then determine what will work for you during labor. I knew I wanted an epidural and when I was talking to the ob I ended up choosing she mentioned that she got one at 1 cm dilation (it was important to me to be able to get one when I felt like I needed it, not at a certain amount of dilation.) I actually only got to 2 cm after 19 hours of labor. After the epidural I got to 10 within 2 hours. Ultimately you decide what you want and it is so worth it! Don't let people scare you off. You never know, you might be one of those women who feel nothing and pop a baby out 2 hours later. Good luck!

I've had two children, and both of them were quick, and while I won't say painless, I will say that having the flu is worse. At least when your labour is finished you've got something to show for having a sore bum!!

Both of my kids came within four hours of my contractions starting. I didn't have time to even think about getting any drugs, and all I can say is that it's totally worth it.

I have noticed though, that many women like to tell their birth horror stories, especially as you get nearer to your delivery date. Try and ignore them!!

Everyone's labor is definitely different. I know people who had virtual pain free labor, a little crampiness and a little aching but nothing major. As for me, let me just say that I STILL haven't forgotten the pain (but she's only two so ask me again in a few years). But, on the other hand, it was all worth it to have to most beautiful daughter in the world.

Since you've heard horror stories, perhaps you just need to hear the other side.

With my daughter, I had the epi before I was induced. I never felt a thing...not anything. Granted, this was in 84, and things were a bit different then. So they didn't ask me to push or anything. I just laid there, so numb I had to be turned by the assistants.

With my son, who was just born 10/3, I wanted to see if I could do natural. LOL Yeah, right. Me...the biggest whiner about pain...natural? Uh huh. I made it through about the 10th or 12th contraction and demanded the epi. They had it ready because I'd asked for them to stand by with it. Was gonna try it, yeah, but was also aware that, knowing my low pain tolerance, I wasn't likely to actually manage it. Once I got the epi...bam! I again felt nothing. Zip, zero, nada. Although they did ask me to push this time...or more like demanded I do it.

Now the dentist says novacaine wears off in about an hour. Not for me...it takes about 5 hours or so. And the epi is no different. Doc said I'd get the feeling back in my legs in about an hour. If we had to rely on that piece of advice, doc'd be out of a job. After several leg massages by my daughter, I eventually started to get the feeling back within about 4 to 5 hours.

So...how does novacaine affect you? That might be some indication of how the epi might work for ya.

I have never posted a response, but have gained much insight and support form this sight. I felt compelled though to share some birth insight. I am 35 and have an amazing 3 year old son. Birthing a child can be so scary and yes so painful , but at the same time it is the most amazing thing you can experience. I thought I had pushed my body and gone to the limit physically and emotionally, but giving birth allows you to go into a whole new part of yourself. It is primitive, powerful, and I swear I connected with women like never before, and maybe for the first time with my mom!
I was gratefully able to birth naturally at a birth center, and felt like I could climb a mountian afterwards, such a high!
It is scary but such a good kind of scary, the kind that offers you new sense of courage, my feelings are don't pass it up, and what a gift afterwards, my son and I gave birth to eachother.

I have to agree with the posts that say it is different for everyone & it is quickly forgotten. With my dd I was two weeks over and had to be induced by a very tired doctor who was up the night before delivering two babies that decided to be nice and come early for their mommas. Make a long story short--by the time we got her back to give me something for the pain it was too late for me to be given anything...I survived and had a beautiful daughter to help me forget. I don't know about the gall bladder attacks, but I had a kidney stone and I never rolled around on the floor in constant pain in childbirth the way that I did with that darn stone.

All I can share is my experience.
I had three babies
The first one I had laughing gas.....took the edge off but I think mostly it was a distraction. The "ring of fire" just as you go into transition hurts!
But the whole thing start to finish was 7 hours......nothing beats the feeling when that baby is out and in your line of vision.
The second baby was an elective section as he was breech. Still wonderful when I saw him
The third baby was born so fast, didn't need anything.
The labour is a journey I felt privledged to participate in. It was wonderful......I would do it over and over.....it hurts, but it has an end......and a wonderful one at that.
The hardest part is not the pregnancy or labour, it is raising your kids and all the uncertainty and pain that goes with it.
Sounds strange to some but that is how I feel about it.
LIz

I looked at it like one bad day in my pregnacy with a realy good outcome.