it could just be her way of showing love. However it might be time for you to move on no need to cause a family feud. I wish you well my friend

Oh - I also need to mention that she doesn't drop food off once every other month or so like normal relatives might do. She drops food off at least once a week, and sometimes it even happens daily.

Yep, you're stuck. Just throw it away as soon as possible. Don't mention anything about it. If she asks, just tell her that you guys don't eat that type of food. Throw a kitchen towel over it until you can get it out of the house.
Good luck
Sarah

Ooo, opportunity for a Muffin Sculpture... How about a pink muffin flamingo in your front yard?

I would just start throwing it out as soon as you saw it. Even if it is your most favorite food in the whole wide world. Since it sounds like she probably is doing this as her way of you accepting her into your family you aren't going to change that.

The other option would be to donate it to the senior citizens center or meals on wheels. Somewhere that may actually need the food.

Ha ha ha! Very nice!

I've gotten to the point where my anger over-rides my desire for the muffin, and I think I will be able to throw it out.

She does do this as a way of being involved/included in our family, but it actually works in the opposite direction. I'd be more inclined to appreciate "family" if it wasn't forced upon me in my own home.

I've suggested to her before to donate the food to someone who would use/appreciate it, like at our great-uncle's nursing home, but she didn't listen. The longer it sits in my kitchen, the more likely I am to eat it, so I try to get it out of the way immediately.

Muffin sculpture...

Pour salt on it if it's tempting...

Well, not for nothing, but if she's showing affection by doing this it seems sad to be rude in return. My mother is a food pusher, but it's not about keeping me fat, it's about pleasing me. She just doesn't get it.

Why not print out 10 recipes for healthy goodies and ask her if she can make you those? Then she's baking and you can actually eat it.

I've tried to suggest this, but here's how it works: she wants caramel-apple bread for herself, but doesn't want to eat the entire loaf herself. She keeps half for herself, and gives us the other half instead of throwing it out or giving it to someone else. She wouldn't go out of her way to bake for us.

I don't think most food pushers are truly malicious, just equating food with love. My grandparents (on both sides) had very little money (not just during the depression), and had long ethnic heritages (german, italian, polish) of celebrating and showing love with food. I remember my grandmother worrying that she had not made enough food, if even one dish was empty at the end of a holiday meal (even if everyone was loosening their belt buckle for comfort).

It's very hard to break generations of habit, so you probably will not have much luck discouraging her without hurting her (and probably not even then). It will be easier (and less stressful) for you if you don't even try, and just dump it as soon as she's gone (and if it's wrapped in tinfoil, for example, not even taking a peek before pitching). If on a rare occasion, she brings something non-food, or very healthy, I agree with the previous post, that you rave like a maniac about it. You might even ask her if she does any needlework, you might be able to distract her into crocheting dorky little gifts, instead of edible ones.

Another thing you might ask her to do, is to "help" you with your diet until a certain date (several months away, or if that doesn't work at least a month out). Ask that she not bring anything over until such and such a date, and that the next time she bakes, she freeze the portion she would have given you either for herself later on or for you after "the date." Her freezer is going to get so full, she might get the point (or maybe not). More likely if she is able to restrain herself until "the date" you'll get the backlog all at once (Boy those squirrels will have a feast).

My parents lived next door to an elderly lady whose family didn't visit often. She "latched on" to my parents, and at first it was nice, but she got needier and needier, until they almost had to be rude to her. It often didn't seem to phase her. I don't think she was stupid, she just was so desperate for companionship that it didn't really matter, she was willing to take her chances.

Colleen