Well my bestfriend of 11 years all of the sudden over the weekend flipped out on me, and decided we shouldn't be friends. In my past I've made some pretty unwise choices, like when I was married I found out my husband was cheating on me, and I met someone and I ended up leaving my husband. Well after being divorced for 4 years my best friend all of the sudden tells me I am a terrible person and a piece of ( you can fill in the blank) for doing what I did. This after 4 years of her telling me he deserved what he got, becuase he was mentally abusive. This coming from someone who had sex with 4 married police officers, which I always thought she was wrong for doing, but its her life and she would have to pay whatever consequences there may of been. I just doing understand why people can flip out on someone like that after I have been so loyal to her. She also managed to throw in my face the thing she has done for me, but when I said wait a second I've done this this and this don't sit here and compare I don't base a friendship based on who's done more for the other. She flipped again and called me a selfish B____, and told me I have issues, and so on and so forth. Let me tell ya this lady is throwin stones at the wrong glass house, she is not a saint my anymeans, and has not even the slightest clue. she cheated on her bf for no reason! My ex was already spending nights at expensive hotels with his mistress...and yet I am the bad person. No two wrongs dont make a right but I've faced my consequences...why now is she doing this...anyone else ever loose a really good friend suddenly??? any helpful advice anyone?

Well jennie,
I have been on the giving end of this situation 2x, one was with my Bil and Sil ( sil and I were room mates in college and best friends for 15 years) She married my husbands brother.
To make a long story short I had had enough of Bil not being nice to me and DH but mostly to my kids. The second was a friend that took advantage of me one too many times, knowing I had let her.

I think sometimes with people we are close to we put up with a lot of personality flaws. We get sick of hearing the same complaints over and over and tiered of trying to help with the other person not doing anything to make the situation better. I think this goes both ways in a friendship.

Give her time, she may have just been venting and needed to get it off her chest. I know for me, I am still friends with SIl and friend, we just have new guidelines as to making the frienship work. I did not throw the baby out with the bath water but it did take several months before either party would talk to me again.

one of the things that helps is to write a letter to the friend and get out the emotion. I do not recomend sending it, but it does help to sort things out.
-L

the thing of it is that it wasn't her giving...it was totally 50/50 she just overlooks what I have done for her prime examples...when i had my miscarriage she drove to boston in the snow 2 hours to get me with her son, she was my maid of honor and gave me a great bridal shower, when I needed advice she listened, me when her son was born I was her coach the night before we went to hospital and they told her she was NOT in ACTIVE labor, and sent her home..i took numerous days out of WORK to go with her to COURT for her baby's father, as support, and when she was suing an old boss of ours for Sexual harrassment, when her son was sick and she needed to go to ER for company, I went with her, when she had an abortion I took her home with me for the night and talked to her and helped her, when her old bfs were bothering her or she needed help I helped her, when she needed $$ for things I gave it to her and she paid me back when she could...so its not as if I didn't do anything for her

I think you need to write her a letter that you won't send. She may have forgotten about al the stuff you have done for her...I can't answer that, but whatever happened she hit the end of her rope some how. Give her a few weeks to cool off and then try to talk to her.
be well,
-L

we are best friend again god we are just like sisters sometimes! We fight like sisters a least..lol

I had a friend of 10 years decide that I was a psycho "B" -- she even sent me a postcard from DisneyWorld to tell me this! And *I* am the psycho? It was a situation where a mutual friend of ours had been delving into the occult and decided he was going to be Wiccan and he just went off the deep end in many ways. I was vocal about what I thought about what he was doing although I didn't volunteer this info, I just discussed itwhen asked. I was made out to be this intolerant and mean person and she decided I wasn't worthy of her friendship anymore. I realized after that that she was quite a manipulative and controlling woman to begin with and I'd let myself me led by her for too long. She obviously snapped when I started standing up for myself. Funny thing is, same thing happened with a girl I'd befriended. We were friends for about 2 months when I got tired of her controlling ways (she'd come over to my place and then call people on my phone without asking and when I confronted her she'd tell me I was in need of therapy!) Where do I find these losers, anyway?

Sounds like you need to find a new best friend. A best friend doesn't talk to you like a dog! After 11 years of being best friends with this person, I know it hurts. My best friend of almost 50 yrs. lives about 400 miles away. I seem to be the one who keeps the communication alive. I am the one who sends the e-mails, writes the letters, and makes the phone calls, but I get tired of thise one-sided friendship. She has never liked to write letters, so I thought when she got her computer, it would be great, we could keep in touch that way..lot cheaper than long distance phone calls, but she rarely sits down to her computer. When I call her, she always says she had planned to call me but it slipped her mind. We have had many years of wonderful memories. She is depressed, lonely but does nothing about getting help..I can only help her so much from this distance. If we were living in the same community, we'd be doing a lot of things together, and having fun again, just like in high school.