I think the OP was venting, and I can relate to both sides actually, and when we change, see that it isn't anywhere near as hard as we assumed it would be, we can sometimes get exasperated with others going through the struggle and not fighting it. That said, I have a friend who has health problems that may or may not be caused by their diet and/or size, and I am disappointed that they won't reach out for help or try to change in any way. Again I've been on both sides, so while I can feel empathy to their feeling of helplessness, for me it is like someone who has a cancer diagnosis who keeps smoking in spite of. Empathy & sympathy are important. And to Nickilaughs I can relate to how you're feeling, I welcome you and anyone else who wants to vent frustrations without hurting the person's feelings to do just that. Sorry there are posters who misinterpreted your post, and are now attacking you with judgment.

I want to offer an different perspective. I think our goals are what motivate how we go about losing weight. OP, your neighbor may have the goal of getting skinny...her ideas about a calorie control liquid diet or whatever, if done correctly under medical supervision will do that. I personally don't think she's be healthy losing weight that way, but she could get thin, and that might be her only goal.

My goal is not to be thin, but to be healthy, fit AND escape from mental anxiety that I deal with related to me weight. I have done this before (look at siggy) but I still have nearly crippling anxiety regarding my weight, and a strong need to just get it off, health be damned.

OP, your suggestions are right on track with weight loss while improving over all health. I agree with you, but guess your neighbor doesn't. There are people that "look" thin, and still eat poorly and don't exercise. Really they aren't healthy, but they don't "look" fat either.

Really its our goals that drive us. Every time I lose the baby weight (because once I stop breastfeeding it comes off very fast) I inevitably get questions, from people on how I did it, and asking for advice. I now start by asking them, "what is your goal?"

You'd be surprised (or not) how many just want to fit into smaller jeans...very few actually say anything related to improving their health or fitness level or address mental issues with food...If some one tells me their goal is to get thin, I just tell them that my goal was different and the changes I made or what I do is meant for my goals.

I'm about to paint with a broad brush here....But generally speaking, I have noticed that people that are only looking to get skinnier are less likely to be willing to adopt changes aimed at health like for example, eating more veggies, since that isn't really needed to reach their goal or getting thinner.

I've noticed people trying to be healthier seem to take a different approach. IMO anyway.

Well said Glamourgirl... That's actually a really good point! Sums up one of my friends perfectly right now, they want to be skinnier not healthier, they ask me and aren't impressed by what I do cause it covers both. I'm going to have to take your advice on that one and ask about goals.

Then I have another friend who was in the hospital recently and is still on medication that restricts what she can eat and she can't loose any weight on it otherwise the dose is off Its sad for her cause she wants to make changes but just can't right now. She can't even run more than once a week. But that's different then someone asking for advice then being offended by what they're given.