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Old 04-18-2012, 10:51 AM   #31
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You can send the email right now! If you don't have it via paper trail, there really isn't any way of showing that you did tell him to stop. JohnP's advice is spot on.
Agreed. Here we do most things with departments we serve by email or if we must do something by phone, we follow up with an email. It's very much a CYA (cover your a**) mentality.

In addition, depending on what he says in return, you could potentially get mad, flustered, upset, etc. which may lessen the impact of the statement you're trying to make. The clear cut email eliminates any distractions.
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Old 04-19-2012, 12:28 PM   #32
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Gross, you need to tell him off! I think you have grounds to go to HR for sure, but if you don't want to go there......TELL HIM. He will get butt hurt, but what do you care if he is creeping you out.

Tell him to either flat out stop talking to you, or tell him that he's creepy. That should shut him up. If he doesn't stop go to HR. Document EVERYTHING. Good luck, I have creepers at work too and I have to tell them off and I have had to tell them not to touch me, at all, and that they are creepy........it works (it's a male working environment).
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Old 04-19-2012, 12:38 PM   #33
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SO I did talk to HR yesterday "unofficially". I let her know the who and what and decided, based on what we talked about, that the best course of action is to sternly tell him its unacceptable, I don't like it and to stop. If it continues I will officially report him.
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:22 PM   #34
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Good! Takes some courage to do that.
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Old 04-19-2012, 09:29 PM   #35
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SO I did talk to HR yesterday "unofficially". I let her know the who and what and decided, based on what we talked about, that the best course of action is to sternly tell him its unacceptable, I don't like it and to stop. If it continues I will officially report him.
Either you work for a small company or the HR person you talked to is poorly trained.

There is no such thing as an "unofficial" conversation when it comes to harrassment.

Laws vary by state but here in California the company would have a legal obligation to follow up on this "talk".
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:27 PM   #36
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Document everything, especislly this talk you had with HR and save everything especially email incoming and outgoing.
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:51 PM   #37
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Chances are, you aren't the only one. By talking to HR you help others as well. But I agree with John, you can't "unofficially" talk to HR about this kind of thing, so not sure how that works.

I once reported someone who left a note on my friend's desk saying how hot she looked (they were both married to other people). He got talked to, but it didn't "ruin his career" or anything like that. There was another incident where a manager at my office tried to kiss another friend of mine! She reported him and it was handled, but he's still there and in the same position as well. HR isn't there to fire people because of one harassment incident, so please don't worry about that. They want YOU to feel comfortable at work so you can be productive.
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Old 04-19-2012, 11:57 PM   #38
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wow. thanks for posting this thread. I'm seriously in the middle of my own complaint against someone. I have no advice, except document everything, including the conversation with HR. And JohnP is right. (well, in Canada anyways.)

It's really reassuring to know I'm not completely freaking crazy. *hug* all the best.
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Old 04-20-2012, 05:44 PM   #39
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... the best course of action is to sternly tell him its unacceptable, I don't like it and to stop. If it continues I will officially report him.
Now, you see -- she recommended that you do exactly as John P. and others advised you to do. I always tried to handle it myself first, and if they didn't stop or back down, then I would report them. Many guys will back off with a good, "stern" warning becuz they really don't want a black mark on their work record.


HI VAL ~ nice to see you drop by; sure hope that situation at your workplace gets resolved real soon too!
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Old 04-23-2012, 12:57 PM   #40
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Either you work for a small company or the HR person you talked to is poorly trained.

There is no such thing as an "unofficial" conversation when it comes to harrassment.

Laws vary by state but here in California the company would have a legal obligation to follow up on this "talk".
It is a HUGE company and she did say that she is now obligated to follow up with me but wont follow up with him unless I continue to have problems after he's been asked to stop.
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