Does it bother you when people make fun of "fat" people?
 

So lately, I've been feeling a certain kind of way about a lot of things in my life, including being overweight.

I have a friend who I've known for years. A few months ago, she informed me that she was going to try and start working out since I made it look "so easy" (and honestly, I am feeling somekindaway about that comment in and of itself). So she's been on a healthy eating and workout quest for about 4 months now.

I've noticed that her "fat commentary" has gone up since she started her journey. She's even, on occasion, taken pictures of people working out in the gym when she thinks they're either fat/unattractive (or both). I think her behavior is extremely childish, mean spirited and annoying.

But it's not just her. I've noticed lately that I am really bothered when people make fun of those of us who are overweight/obese, and I don't know why. Especially when it's implied that all we do is sit and eat deep fried twinkies all day - which in my case - is very far from the truth. I work out quite a bit; try to watch what I am eating daily (yes, it's a daily struggle with me) - but I'm not a size 6, and never will be. My doctor has informed me that my bloodwork looks good and I am actually in good physical shape.

So why am I so bothered when people make fun of "fat" people?

And I put the "fat" in quotes - because often when people are making fun of "fat" people - they look like normal sized people TO ME.

Oh, I totally get that way. Like, I don't know if people who were never overweight dont get it, or people who are overweight use it as a coping mechanisim, or whatever, but.. I've actually yelled at people and given them a look, lol. A look that says 'were you raised in a BARN?!' :lol: I cant stand people in general making fun of anything, I even call my husband out on it, lol. Then I make fun of him and ask him if he likes it.

I hate it when people don't act their age, as far as maturity is concerned. It's a pet peeve of mine, lol.

:D

Ya know, I like that approach - and I'm already quite sarcastic. Maybe I should start doing that. :D

You're wondering why you think your friend is an a** for <i>taking pictures of fat people at the gym</i>?

I've never been seriously fat-fat, and I find that ridiculously offensive and childish and overall a s****y thing to do.

I call people out on making fun of fat people. It's a stupid thing to do.

I also NEVER EVER understand why people who complain about fat people make fun of the fat people at the gym. WTF are they supposed to do, magically turn thin with the snap of their fingers?

If working out was truly 'so easy' everyone would be doing it but maybe her comment was more recognition of how well you've done as opposed to being condascending? :smug:

As for being bothered about making fun of 'fat' people - of course I am, much the same way I'd be bothered about making fun of someone who had a skin condition or was a really bad dresser. I don't see the humour in other people's misfortune (not exactly the right word there but you know what I mean right?). However I know that people will make fun of whatever sets you apart from everyone else (in my case it's my weight, for my sister it's acne) so if it's aimed at me I can brush it off pretty easily and that's where my perspective on it comes from. I think it's bad taste and hurtful but I don't let it hurt me.

There are people who are just naturally rude. They will always find something to critisize.

And the worst part of that is that she is mocking "fat" people while they are at the gym trying to do something about it! Does anyone else see the hypocrisy there? I've never understood that. It's a trend I've seen before. Do they even stop to think that she's actually working on it. They, on the other hand, are jerks and don't seem to be doing anything to improve themselves.

Instead of thinking "Eww, fat girl running", why aren't they thinking "Good for her!" A lot of chubby people avoid gyms for exactly this reason and sadly, it's a risk. How is that helping anyone?

I tell you, I'd rather be fat than mean. grneyedmustang, if that was my friend, I would tell her exactly that.

My 14-yo son disdains fat people (through no influence of mine). He believes they lack discipline and claims he'll never be fat in his life. I've tried to moderate his thinking, to no avail so far.

F.

it drives me nuts! My husband can be a real idiot sometime when he talks. He will make fun of a fat person, and expect me to be ok with it. I tell him "she is the same size as me" and because he doesn't see me in that light, he doesn't agree. I think it's ridiculous! He has almost completely stopped, thank goodness. I told him that even though he might not think of me as "fat"...i am much more overweight than i would like to be.

I can´t stand when people make fun of fat people. We all have our battles and food just happens to be one of them for most of us..

People can just be downright cruel. (quick example, a couple months ago I was at my Hubbys Grandmas funeral and all the family sat down to eat before the service and DH´s brother called me a fat pig at the dinner table in front of everyone. I started sobbing and screamed F:::YOU, and ran out and havent talked to him since!)

Well if you're a 'fat pig' with only 33lbs to lose there's really no hope for the rest of us is there?! I don't get where he was even going with that, was the whole table supposed to laugh and pat him on the back about it? He's a fool, and you married the better brother!

The mean spirited comments and behavior definitely bothers me. There's never any need to be unkind like that to anyone. :(

I think the real question should be, "Why wouldn't you feel bothered when you hear someone make fun of anyone for anything?" You're obviously a much more empathetic person than your friend, and that's a very good thing. Furthering your reaction would be that you have fallen into the category of what some would deem "fat" - so not only do you feel empathy, you've actually been there.

Would it not bother you if your friend took photos and made fun of people in wheelchairs? Or children with Down's Syndrome? Or people at burn centers who are maimed over large parts of their bodies? That's called being human.

I gotta say, making fun of overweight people seems to be the last bastion of "acceptable teasing" in this country - it's not politically correct to make fun of the mentally challenged, of the handicapped, of different ethnicities or religions, but I regularly hear the Jay Leno's of the world still making "fat" jokes and it chaps my hide.

Sounds like your friend is a frightfully under-confident individual who sincerely has to put others down in order to propel herself upwards. I think it's fantastic that you're appalled by her behavior!

I think a much more important question would be, "Are you not bothered when people make fun of people for other reasons?"

If you're bothered by people ridiculing others for any reason, simply on principle - then the "why" is simple - it's called having compassioon.

If however, you're ok with people ridiculing others, as long as it's on other topics, then your compassion is selective, and my question would be, "why doesn't it bother you when people make fun of others for (insert reason here)."

Do you have enough compassion and confidence to confront your friend on her lack of compassion? And do you have enough compassion and tactfulness to do it in a way, that isn't unnecessarily harsh and cruel.

My friends know not to ridicule anyone in my presence, because I'm going to call them on it. In a gentle, kind way - but I'm going to tell them I don't appreciate it, and that I believe that they're "better than that."

all i can say is really?!?! two things....maybe she's uncomfortable and it removes her feelings about her to make fun of others(kinda disturbing), and the other she's the reason so many overweight people are afraid to go to the gym maybe she should be introduced to that idea. and number three karma. i also get in this situation with my boyfriend like so many others on this post. i think people just don't realize what they are saying or what it feels like. you can't make them understand it, but you can be supportive of those who are being made fun of. maybe your friend needs to be reminded of the fact that anyone and everyone can become very out of shape, no-1 is excluded from being fat...it could be her, and how would she feel. or you could sneak behind her and get video of her at the gym lmao! ok that's kinda mean...but you get the point.

The reason it bothers you is because it's a dick thing to do. Unfortunately, some people have such low self-esteem they have to constantly knock others down so they feel better about themselves. It's dumb and in the words of the great Jay-Z, "What you eat don't make me sh*t."

I'll never forget something one of my professors said in a psychology class when I was in college. She said you will almost never see someone who is physically attractive, confident, and succcessful making fun of fat or unattractive people. It doesn't happen because they don't need the psychological boost (even via negative methods) that a person may get from doing such things.

Ever since then, I've always taken note of who does that kind of thing, and the theory has almost always been true. It makes me feel a lot better. When I get to a normal weight, I won't be an a-hole either.

It's mean mean mean. It's mean spirited to make fun of ANYBODY, for whatever reason. People do it to mask their own insecurities. I can't stand it. It's a huge pet peeve of mine. On an off note, sort of, I find myself looking at the bigger girls in my cardio classes, not because of their weight but because I'm so HAPPY they are there doing something for themselves, so I try to send some good vibes their way when I see other's smirking at them....but I hope they don't take it as a smirk also cause that isn't my intention :(

It bothers me a lot when people make fun of other people for any reason. It's unacceptable, childish, and rude. And what's the point? Typically to make one feel better about one's self. If they have so little going for them that they have to make fun of someone else to feel better themselves, then they are indeed a sad excuse for a human.

His mother gave me a big peice of pie and everyone else a small one. I asked her why mine was so big, and thats when he said becasue it proportional, since your a fat pig!!!

My husband is French, and none of his family (besides the brother whom aslo married an american girl) speak english.

I am already very self aware of what I look like.

Do you guys ever feel its you the people are looking at and judging? I am not too large by american standards, but I am by european....ugggg

I think one reason people feel its okay to make fun of overweight folks is that being fat is seen as being a choice of some sort, unlike being in a wheelchair or having Down Syndrome. We're fat (and by "we," I mean people like me who struggle with our weight) because we eat too much, we're too lazy, etc. And there's a certain truth in that for most of us, but that doesn't make it okay to be an a**hole.

This can be a tricky subject for me because I enjoy humor like The Daily Show or the website Regretsy, where certain kinds of people are indeed made fun of. I justify it by saying, "well, they've chosen to be in the public eye in some way" so that makes them fair game. I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm a hypocrite, though.

If my husbands brother said that to me, my husband would have ended up punching him square in the face. What a horrible little man.

Ok, how much weight has your friend loss? Is it noticable...? If it is, show her a bunch of pics of how she looked before she started losing weight and and point out what would she have done if she heard people making fun of her? Not everyone is overweight/obese by choice and your friend couldn't have a way of knowing what there story is.

Sorry but I'd drop her as a friend because I have no pacience for rude people. And quite honestly, if I heard one of my friends saying something like that, I'd start pointing out all there flaws(petty yes..) and give them a good hard kick about making fun of someone when you should only be worrying about yourself...She has serious self esteem issues and seems like the only way she can cope is through making fun of someone else.

I've never understood how people could make fun of someone based on appearence...ugh...
Those "fat" comments hurt more then people know but like a few people said, it seems to be the last form of acceptiable bullying. Which is sad considering how much of the population is listed in the "Overweight" catorgory making a good amount of the population targets for this s**t

Freaking THIS. Exactly what I was thinking. :yes:

lovemydoggiesx2, you're extremely lovely, from what I can tell from your avatar, I hope you didn't take what that pr*ck said to heart. :hug:

For some reason being "fat" is a GOOD reason to make fun of people, at least in the experiences i've been through & saw happen to other people.

I find it so amusing *NOT* how it's so awesome to make fun of overweight people because there's nothing else better to do right? Funny thing is, a lot of the time the people that are making fun of other overweight people aren't the most in shape people. Talk about hypocrites.

Yes to this! It is infuriating how socially acceptable it is to mock people trying to better themselves. Damned if we do, damned of we don't, right?

Interesting topic!

I used to hate the skinny comments people made about me.... I was very tiny until about 5 years ago. I was 96 pounds on my wedding date. 108 pounds after my 2nd child was born.

I worked HARD to be that tiny. -- I kinda gave up and took the easy way, and reached 170 pounds...all food and little exercise.

I found the skinny comments very hurtful; like it is so EASY for you, when I was literally starving each and every minute and monitoring each bite and working out for hours. -- If it had been easy I still would be 50 pounds lighter :D

I guess my point is, we should let people be. "Tiny" or "fat", it can all be hurtful.

I totally agree with steph here. People make fun of fat people, and it seems to be socially acceptable because being overweight is controllable by probably 99% of all overweight people. The jokesters will make fun of alcoholics, druggies and smokers as well. People with addictions make good targets for mean people because we are seen as weak. I've grown to except it becaue it's been going on for the last 46 years of my life, and will continue until the day I depart from life. Let the haters hate. I got bigger fish to fry...like maintaining a freaking 190 pound weight loss! :D

This is exactly what I think.

For the most part, I don't like for other people to be made fun of -- period. I absolutely hate when comedians do it, because I don't think it's funny.

Weight and (and a few other issues) are especially hot button issues with me though - especially because I feel like I fit the bill.

And I do think that weight is one of the "few" areas where it's still okay to make fun of people. Making fun of people with disabilities etc. - generally unacceptable. But I think that sometimes there are individuals in our society that feel it is still okay to make fun of and ridicule fat people.

As far as my friend is concerned, I haven't really spoken to her in a few weeks. I know it's a conversation we're going to need to have, and I'm not looking forward to it. And deep down, I think she's insecure about something, so she makes fun of others to feel better about herself.

re:
 

I'm going to say I think it has become more prevalent over the years. With the advent of social media, people are getting accustomed to trolling and insulting everyone about everything - and so many other people see it and feed off it.

Some people will carry that over and actively start to bully people offline too because they're so used to it online.

Can I do anything about those people? Probably not. I can, however, make sure that no one in my household does it. It doesn't make me any less annoyed or hurt.


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Absolutely. It really bothers me when someone makes fun of another person for any reason. Your friend is taking pictures? I'd report her to the gym! I also wouldn't be able to call someone like that a friend.

Well to be frank, taking pictures at the gym without peoples' knowledge or consent is REALLY CREEPY!

If she was a dude she would have been jailed already LOL

I hate it when anyone makes fun of anyone else. It makes my heart sad. In elementary school, I was always made fun of and though I was young it hurt. It hurts now when I get poked fun at, and I can't imagine it's different for others. I definitely don't participate in that.

I think "making fun" of people is prevalent in today's society. What we find humorous has expanded throughout the years. What was funny in a sitcom from the 1970's might not be viewed as funny today. If it were, The Brady Bunch never would have gone off the air! AND YET! - I still laugh my butt off at I Love Lucy re-runs. I guess it's all in the funny bone... ?? :^:

I remember as a child, watching Don Rickles on television, thinking "how mean!!!" - and yet, I've grown up with that type of "humor" all around me. My brothers & cousins ... we all made fun of each other. Now I'm immune to it. I no longer think of it as mean; and it's not "making fun" of someone anymore, it's "ragg'n" (on somebody) & it is humorous in so many social circles.

Now that I think about it, I don't know of a current sit-com that doesn't rag on somebody in some form or another. The way someone dresses, dances, talks (people rag on me all the time for my hick-ville southern accent...can't tell you how many times somebody has called me "Ellie May"... all in fun, of course) - being too stupid (Joey on Friends) or too smart (Big Bang Theory); too pretty or not pretty enough (Ugly Betty), fat/thin (Kevin James on King of Queens) male/female (who doesn't make fun of the opposite sex?) gay/straight (Chandler's parents on Friends), black/white altho more so today is the asian/spanish thing (Carlos Mencia rags on everybody for everything) - we get ragg'd on about the TV shows or music that we like (ever hear somebody knocking people for liking Nickelback or the Twilight movies?), etc. While some comedians DO still pull the "Don Rickles" type of humor, I have found that most of them are not necessarily mean spirited, but more of the sarcastic type, & yes, there is a difference.

That said, no I don't like it when people make fun of fat people. I find it in poor taste.

And yet, let some spaz with a mullet & wife-beater t-shirt out on the dance floor with his 1978 disco moves, & I'll be laugh'n my big-boned'ed butt off!!!

I think a lot of people are scared of becoming fat, since it's something we can all be, regardless, race or religion or social class etc.

Your friend is probably taking these pictures more out of desperation, trying to persuade herself to never become fat again. It's very disrespectful and I wouldn't associate with someone doing that tbh. But I doubt she's doing it out of malice, just afraid.

I am of the mindset that people shouldn't be made fun of for any reason.

This is slightly OT, but still ties in w/the overall message--

I'm facing a delimma w/Disney/Pixar. I love most of their movies, and we watch them as a family. Lately I've been considering "banning" Toy Story 3 from our watch list because of the scene where Potato Head calls Big Baby "Mongo."

I know it's not a big moment in the movie, but it just REALLY REALLY bothers me. Why is that even in a Pixar movie?

But then, I just think maybe I'm being overly PC.

Back to your friend. I don't know if I'd be upset with her only for making fun of fat people--where does she get off taking pictures of ANYONE in the gym. That's gross, disgusting (on her part) and a complete invasion of privacy. I realize the gym is a public place (just like Wal-Mart), but people usually go there for a specific reason--and that reason is to get hot, sweaty-looking, and over-all not their best. She's strange.

Yes, it does bother me, because my father (and the whole side of his family) are very judgmental when it comes to women and weight. An overweight woman is more or less a complete failure at life and though I know he's proud of me and loves me, I know he'd be even more proud were I a size 2.

It annoys me when I'm thrown into stereotypes of any sort, but especially with my weight. I didn't get this big by eating nothing but McDonald's. Sure, that didn't help, but a lot of the weight I put on was from "normal" foods in excess. It doesn't matter how active you are - if you're eating more than you're burning, you'll gain weight, and that was my problem. I was active as a teenager (until about age 17 anyway) but I was still over-eating because everyone in my family does.

I think making fun of and discriminating against overweight people is one of the few remaining, socially acceptable, forms of discrimination. We can't openly make fun of race, religion, or sexual orientation, without someone being offended, but fat people are fair game. It's not even just the sitcoms or comedians that do this. Look at magazines, news shows, etc. Who's fat in Hollywood, who gained weight, Celebrity Fit Club, etc. etc. Look at the backlash Jessica Simpson had aimed at her over those jeans? Look how much weight Jennifer Hudson has lost (they even did a Dateline segment with her!).

So yes, it does bother me. I don't know why other forms of "comedy" don't bother me, but jokes about race, religion, sexual orientation, and obesity bother me.

It does bother me when people make fun of other people (to their face or behind their backs) regardless of the reason they are mocking them. I actively avoid people like that. I don't need that negativity around me.

Good discussion.

A couple "highlights": your friend who is taking unauthorized pictures of other people in the gym might be asked to rescind her membership. I believe that is illegal.

As an older person who has mixed feelings about the whole social media thing primarily because of what many of you are discussing here: immature, cowardly people using the internet to cyber bully or harass unasked for taunting. I just wonder how much of this would go on if they were face to face with that person.

Now, that I have lost nearly 60 pounds, look twenty years younger than my actual age, and still need to use a cane to be vertically mobile (I have both advanced arthritis and shaking tremors -gotten from being over-medicated on anti-depressants 25 years ago), I no longer get that "she's so fat she has to use a cane to get around" looks that I used to get. I now fit five separate areas to be discriminated against: obesity, needing to use a cane and other aids, age, being low income and struggling with 50+ years of chronic depression. If someone wants to diss you, they can always find something---anything.

I am glad though that there is the general awareness among the rest of us that this behavior is wrong and unacceptable. I also believe in karma, " what goes around will eventually come around." ;) Their turn is coming.

Is your friend about 13 years old? Because it sounds like she is. How catty can you get? And of course it would bother me. Bullying always bothers me.