I use my weight as an excuse not to live my life, and frankly I'm tired of it. I'm doing it in part for health, in part for vanity, and in part to be able to perform physical activity- but mostly to regain my life and my willingness to interact with the world.
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OnaMission29, I totally relate to this sentence: My appearance does not match the kind of person I am on the inside.
I think that's a common thought that overweight people have, and that I have. I want to look as happy and healthy as I feel inside, and I want to BE that happy and healthy person physically outside and in. I don't want my weight to get in the way of what I want to do or who I want to do (and however these two tie together.) And although I know this is shallow and that it really only matters what I feel about myself, I want to visit my old high school. I want the teachers who helped me along to see how great I'm doing, and how I've flourished in my new college environment. |
Everyone's covered why I'm doing this, so I decided to reply with why I never did it before.
I was scared. Plain and simple. I was scared I wouldn't be able to keep up with any kind of lifestyle change and I was scared to make a big change that might blow up in my face. Ultimately, I was scared I would fail. But now that I've stayed on plan for over 3 months now, and have made changes in my eating and exercise that make me looking in the mirror a bit happier, I could never regret starting this journey.. and that gives me the motivation to see it through to the end. :) |
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Why did I never do it before? I never saw it as possible. I couldn't imagine a future where I wasn't fat. I started out thinking that I'd just try to be less fat than I was at the moment. Eventually, I started to see that I didn't have to be fat forever and I started to believe in the possibilities.
I'm doing it now because I have big plans to live my life and see the world and I want to be as healthy as possible for it! I'm joining the Peace Corps and my program leaves in February and I want to be healthy, strong and fit so I can give this experience everything I've got! For me, being strong physically gives me a huge boost when it comes to being strong mentally. Also, in my experience, living in developing countries is significantly more physical than day-to-day life in the US and I don't want any of this stuff to get in my way. For me, health, weightloss and fitness are closely tied to my sense of self-efficacy. This journey has really taught me how capable I am and how much I can achieve when I am willing to work for something. |
I always feel a bit silly posting when I really wasn't that big, so I shouldn't "complain". But I know you guys are always supportive, so:
Main reason was thinking "if I keep slowly getting bigger, where am I gonna end up after I am 30?". The second reason is that most of my friends are skinny, all the succesful people around me are in better shape than me. I am succesful already, but I could enjoy things more if i'd not be uncomfortable about my body. If I could wear clothes I like. If I can take pride in how I look. I could work really hard at accepting the way I look - or I could try and change the way I look to fit with what I think looks good. Both is hard work, but the latter also means improving my overall health and fitness level. And it's nice to test myself, see if when resolved about something I can actually do it. So far, I am pleased with how it's going. |
I want to be good at all the things i try to do! I play softball and can hit good but its so embarrassing getting out everytime because i cant make it to first base fast enough. I want to go shopping at whatever store i want. I also want to find the man of my dreams. I want to be a normal 21yr old!!!! Oh and to wear shorts for the first time in my life :) lol Im tired of thinking if everyones looking at how fat i am i want to be how i wish i was!
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Ah, the why!
I want to be able to ride again, I could probably ride now, I don't exactly have dainty little ponies, but I don't want to put them through it. I'm an out of shape lump, why would I willingly put myself on the back of animals I care about? I also want to be more than the fat friend, i'm fed up of being the fat friend, i'm fed up of being dragged around shops with clothes I adore but not being able to fit into any of them. I'm fed up of friends saying "you're not that big" and you know, really know, that they're saying it because they're your friends and feel saying that you are in fact quite fat is an insult. I don't want my partner to be embarrassed of me. I know he's not, but i've heard some of the things co-workers say, heck, that his family say. "She's a nice girl, but the size of a whale, he could do better". He could do better. That hurts. I know it shouldn't effect me, I know he loves me, but knowing his family, the ones who like you, who smile and say how lovely it is you two got together, think he could do better? He's such a fitness freak (in the nicest possible way), I can't see what he sees in me. I want to see the person he sees, I want to be able to go running with him, I don't want to feel like he's having to slow down because i'm so unfit, I want us to be able to go biking together. Heck I want to be able to get on the back of his motorcycle without being paranoid about the extra weight i'm adding. I don't want to feel paranoid that i'm taking up two, even three seats on public transport. I don't want to get a sudden jolt of fear when there's a very narrow passage everyone else is gliding through and i'm just there, convinced i'm going to get stuck (although this is, in part, due to a childhood experience where I managed to get stuck behind a drain pipe ...). Because i've seen my aunties, my mother, and I don't want to be like that. I don't want to be pushing 50, fat and miserable, making excuses for why i'm fat and letting myself get fatter. If i'm 210 now, how fat could I get in 5 years? Too fat. Plus I really, really, really hate being fat. I hate it. I hate the stomach, I hate the bingo wings, I hate feeling squidgy, I hate everything about it. The folds, the fact I can't wear the clothes I adore, the fact I don't gain weight in a very flattering style, everything. I'm also fed up of using fat as a safety blanket, I need to face my fears and shed the pounds, start taking my life back so to speak. I've loved reading everyone's reasons for losing weight :) |
lifeisbeautiful - so awesome. everything you said. everyone has such good reasons. I can relate to SO many.
Who else is tired of hearing - "you have such a pretty face" ?!?!?!?!? I WANT THE REST OF ME TO MATCH! |
For me to be healthy...I want to live to a ripe old age and be healthy and not a sickly old bag taking tons of meds to just stay alive.
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Sex without having to obsess over lighting, pillow/sheet placement, what position makes you jiggle the least, etc.... etc.... would be another big one, IMHO. |
My last straw was bridesmaid dress shopping. I was wearing size 20-22 jeans, but the shop said they'd have to order a size 28 dress (the largest!) and then alter it to make it drape properly over my big belly. I met with the seamstress last week, and she's going to cut about 4 inches out of that dress. YES!!!! :yay::yay::yay:
There are lots of other reasons, though. Type 2 diabetes runs in my family, and I don't want it. I'm tired of my knees and feet hurting. I'm sick of being the fat friend. I want to buy clothes in a regular size store, and not have a "W" or an "X" after the size. I never, EVER, want to hear "You have such a pretty face......" again. "It's too bad you're a fat slob" is silent, but implied. :mad: I'm hypoglycemic, and I feel better when I eat better. This is the most weight I've ever lost, and now I believe I really can do it. I CAN be a normal healthy weight! |
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I can't wait until my next check up. He's getting a heaping helping of "I told you so!". |
I want my physical self to more closely resemble my ideal self. I want to feel as well as I can. I want to have more adventures. I want to maximize my career/earnings prospects. I don't want to put myself through any of the potentially debilitating and expensive diseases that obesity can contribute to. I'm tired of feeling like people make untrue assumptions about me because of my weight.
The main reason that my previous attempts to lose weight weren't tremendously successful was that I hadn't been diagnosed or treated for ADHD - it was hard to lose weight and keep it off when I lacked self-awareness and I always felt so tired, put-upon, overwhelmed, and anxious that I could barely function. Large quantities of "bad" foods provided stimulation and short-term relief from the stress of trying to cope and compensate. Secondary reasons that previous attempts weren't so successful were a lack of knowledge and a lack of experience in practicing healthy habits. |
I was never truly motivated until I went to the OB/GYN for my annual checkup in June.
My OB/GYN is a no-BS, tell-it-like-it-is, no-sugarcoating type ... and she bluntly pointed out that my blood pressure has spiked hugely in the last two years. If it's not normal by next year, I go on meds. I don't want to do that at 30. Granted, if I get down to a healthy weight for my height and it's still high ... there's nothing I can do but medicate. But she thinks weight loss will correct the issue, and I want to be able to look my husband in the eye and say I did all I could to make myself as healthy as possible. I also want to see my OB/GYN fall all over herself after I walk in next year at a healthy weight. *evil cackle* That's the beauty of straight shooters -- when you do something well, they don't hold back the praise. |
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