My son had severe colic and a birth injury/reflux/milk allergy. In the first year, I wish I had put a note like that on my door. I was really tired of the complaints, as if it was not hard enough to deal with such a difficult newborn. There comes a point, as a mother, when you try your darndest and people still complain - and they are almost always childless people who have no idea of the difficulty you go through. Yes, other parents will still be annoyed but they will not make sarcastic/rude comments to you. I have been told to move, to leave my newborn to cry himself to sleep (with a birth injury and acid reflux???) by "well meaning" advisors who know nothing of his medical condition. I even spent 1 night sleeping with him in my VAN to avoid complaints!!!

Some may find it offensive, but once you've been complained to so many times and still trying your best, you get to the point where you just want to say "F U" in a more polite manner.

To be honest with you, although it wouldn't accomplish anything but to pi$$ them off, and I really wouldn't care, I would post a sign on theirs, or write on theirs, that said this:

"If you're here to complain about the noise, don't bother. OK - I'll just call the poice or complain to the apt mgmt DAILY, instead until you get kicked out.


We have a child. We're doing our best. Try harder.

When you have kids come talk to me. I have them and they don't act like monkeys.

Until then, enjoy your easy life." If you thought parenting was going to be easy, you were delusional. If you wanted your life to be easy then maybe try a chastity belt and don't procreate, idiot. It's called parenting and takes WORK.


I'm really so tired of so many parents I know excusing their bad parenting skills. I am of the belief if you can't be a good parent, then don't be one.

This just hit home with me and I guess caused me to rant, also. So, forgive my bluntness.

And, let me also add this. I probably wouldn't do this if the note wasn't so rude or seemed as though it was dealing with a kid with no boundaries. I do know children make noise, and there is a certain level that is tolerable. If it's a normal amount of noise, then, it is what it is, and if I wasn't ok with it, I wouldn't live in an apt. That's children and apartment life. But if it's over the top, then I believe something truly does need to be done, behaviorally, medically, or even if it means moving to a downstairs apartment if that would help. Normal amounts of noise are expected, but abnormal amounts should be dealt with, or at the very least, rather than an FU note, maybe a note explaining the issue to an extent, but not a note that is blatantly rude and says they don't care about what's going on.

If I had read a note that said something to the effect of "my child has "such and such" going on. I realize it's an inconvenience for my neighbors, and I am working on this. Please bear with me", I would be more inclined to accept it and possibly even help if the parent needed some downtime.

Oh they knew they were gone. They just didn't know who had them. They would stand on the sidewalk and scratch their heads looking at where they car was the night before. It was comical for sure.

Wow! Thanks for responding, guys

Some of you have had to deal with some CRAZY neighbor situations, that's for sure. O_O

To reiterate, I don't personally have a problem with the level of noise on my end of the complex. There's a family with a young kid below us who used to cry at night, but it wasn't overwhelming. They do sometimes stomp around or slam doors, but it's not like I'm a ballerina on my feet. It's just life in an apartment. We can only try to be considerate of the time (like between 10PM and 7AM), and try not to blast music or the tv any time of the day.

My only problem was that the note itself sounded rude, and passive-aggressive and looked icky on their door. (Btw, thanks for the link to that note site... I had a heck of a laugh. Some of those notes are amazing!)

I'm sure it'll go away in a week, and I'll have little (read nothing) to complain about. =)

I laugh SO HARD!

you can't live in a complex with children and expect to never hear them. Kids make noise. Even ones with good parents.

as to unreasonable neighbours, I once had someone below us ask us if it was possible for us to not walk on the floors after 8 pm

This tickled me, Brown. I find it quite easy to imagine that neighbors who complained about a dog that barked too loudly or too frequently (in their opinion) would think the dog owner who kept a noisy pet in a neighborhood where (presumably) sound travels unimpeded across property lines was the person who needed to be more considerate of his/her neighbors and consider looking for a place to live that was more amenable to his/her lifestyle/non-human household members. I'm not saying that one position is right or wrong, but it seems like an argument that both sides could use.

I hope things in your apartment building get resolved quickly, Lovely.

Okay seriously. I live in an apartment below children and the noise they make is totally and completely unreasonable. I appreciate that sometimes there will be noise (we used to live below another family before the present family moved in and we never had a problem, yes there was noise and the occassional argument but the mother always limited the noise and sometimes apologised if it was really bad).

This family do not give a crap. The kids ride their bikes and skateboards across the wooden floor and into the walls and then back again for hours on end. They bounce balls, run, jump and drag chairs across the wooden floor day in and day out and the mother makes absolutely no attempt to even take them outside so they don't make so much noise. It is completely inconsiderate.

I was studying for my exams and the noise was constant. I knocked on their door in tears because I needed to concentrate and they slammed it in my face and then started shouting abuse out of their windows everytime my dad and I walked past and when we were in then she would encourage the children to jump about and swear some pretty bad curse words and even taught them a "we don't f-ing care" song.

Mind you, the noise the children make isn't half as bad as the sound of her having sex with different men late at night.

Some people are not fit to have children and ought to be castrated. Plain and simple. I would never have been allowed to get away with that kind of behaviour when I was little. It's unbelievable and I don't think my opinion is influenced by the fact I'm childless.

I'm childless as well and understand that children will make some noise. I used to live in an apartment and my neighbors had two small children. I heard them occasionally, but I knew that children make some noise, and to be honest, I thought they were rather quiet, if anything.

What gets on my nerves is when people think others have an easy life because they are childless, for example. What do people know about my life and whether it's easy or not? And I sometimes feel that I am supposed to feel guilty for enjoying my "easy" life. I hear comments such as "it must be nice to be able to travel often/sleep in/[insert verb here]". Am I supposed to feel guilty because THEY had kids? Well, I am a student, and I don't make comments like "it must be nice to be able to watch t.v. after supper instead of work on an assignment and study for a midterm". I knew what I was getting into when I signed up to go back to school, so I am not going to make comments to others that sound as if I think they should feel guilty because they don't have homework at night. I chose to go back to school.

Sorry. That is my rant today.

I read all the replies before posting - and Ursula beat me to it. My way of dealing with it would have been to add a note to their door that said "If I can't complain to you in person in a considerate manner, please check below how would like me to complain." And below, with little boxes to check, would be "Call the police" and "Call the landlord". Some people just have no social skills.

Lin

I do not miss apartment living. At. All.

I also do not miss our upstairs neighbor who would exercise their 80lb Boxer in their apartment (we could hear the ball bounce on the floors).

I do sort of miss bouncing a racket ball on our ceiling, confusing the poor animal...

EXACTLY. That was my response to this post, so I'm glad I read through the other responses first. I also really hate the idea that this person thinks that people who don't have children are unsympathetic. Heck, when I'm on an airplane and there's a screaming child I don't blame the parent. Sometimes there's nothing you can do! Just because I don't have kids doesn't mean I don't understand that or feel for you.

I'm sure that just as many parents as nonparents are affected by the noise. It's like your neighbor thinks its some elitist parenting club- YOU shouldn't dare complain until YOU have children.

I also thought this belonged on passive aggressive notes- although it's not too passive!

Maybe it's because I'm the mom of a colicky baby OR maybe it's because I'm a police dispatcher and have listened to 100's of neighbour noise complaints,

But this note sounds suspiciously like it is one particular unnamed complainant who is perhaps very unreasonable in their constant calls and complaints.

I'm sure most of you have not experienced this, but there are plenty of people who literally call the police/management every night for very basic upstairs living (ie. walking around, shutting a cupboard). The note is clearly passive aggressive but it also sounds like the person has just had enough of a particular ongoing complaint.

If you all can keep your cool in any heated situation, good for you, but sometimes people lose their temper with an ongoing frustration and IMO, this note is probably the result of that.

I don't see this note as being written to all neighbours, at all. I think it is directed towards a particular person without being specific. At least, that is my impression.

But then again, I slept in a van with a screaming 6 week old infant once because I got kicked out of a guesthouse at 3am for his crying. Yes, many parents are unreasonable in expecting others to accommodate their child's noise - but there are just as many childless people who have unreasonable expectations on parents as well.

I think they don't know who made the complaint so have put up the note hoping the complaining party would see it.

I'd probably do the same as Ursula and LinJber and responded to the note, line by line. Or maybe just write a big f-u on it. I seriously hate note writers. That passive-agressive notes website is a HOOT!