I think it depends on the school. There are awesome and terrible public schools, and there are awesome and terrible private schools. You can't make any assumptions, you have to get to know the school.

When I was a kid, in the community where I grew up, the Catholic grade schools and middle schools were less academic focused than the public school. (The Catholic High School had an excellent reputation academically, but the tuition was outrageous, and it was also known for being where wealthier parents sent "problem kids," but the Benedictine monks running the school were also known for being strict but fair. If my parents had had the money, I would have gone to the Catholic high school and I would have been fine with that. I'm very glad I didn't have to say in the Catholic grade school though).


Among the public school children, the Catholic school kids were known for being trouble (either their parents had sent problem kids to Catholic schools expecting the kids to get straightened out, or the parents thought their children could do no wrong because they went to Catholic school. Sometimes the latter were the scarier). In the younger grades, a lot of us were actually scared to death of the Catholic school kids (and they knew it).

My parents sent me to Catholic school in first grade, and let me transfer second semester because (literally) the nun teacher was so cruel, and because we were so far behind academically.

I had to work to catch up to my classmates after I transfered to public school. Also, the public schools and the Catholic schools shared busses, and the Catholic School kids always sat at the back of the bus so they could bully kids without the bus driver seeing them (and they were very good at not getting caught) and everyone was afraid of them.

And if any of the public school kids complained to the bus driver, to the teachers, or even sometimes to our parents, the adults would almost never believe us. Luckily (?) the adults always taking the Catholic school kids' side made the worst of the bullies overconfident enough that they began thinking they didn't have to hide the bullying. Finally the bus drivers started paying better attention. There was even talk of the public school breaking the bussing contract with the private schools (which they eventually did - but over funding issues rather than bullying).

A lot of key points have been brought up here already but I would like to share my story It will end up looooong I'm sure

My wife is a middle school teacher, teaching both history and language arts. My son and his wife both teach high school history, my son has all AP classes and my dil has a mix. They teach in the public system here in southern California...north San Diego county.

I have been a member of our Lutheran church for a little over 30 years. We have a pre-school and a K-8th.

My son and daughter attended pre-8th grade there, step-daughter 1st-8th and nephew pre-school then (once I had custody) 7th and 8th.

My sister and brother's kids also attended pre-8th. My sister actually was a pre-school teacher for several years until health issues prohibited her from working.

At the end of the oldest, my son, it was my plan to keep him in the christian school system....however...he had different plans

For many years my son and I had attended my old high school sports games/matches when we could. He was consumed with sports from birth He was a very good student and played all sports in his school, 5-8th for sports, and also rec. sports. He wanted to play at the public high school level at our local high school. I was a little concerned (even though I went to high school in our town) because there was approx. 4,000 students going to a school built for 2,500. I gave him the chance to prove me wrong.

He did And from then on all of our kids went to one of the public high schools in our town...we have 2.

My son and daughter 30 and 28, graduated college Magna Cum Laude with Honors...Masters for my daughter. They have great jobs as a teacher and scientist. My step-d graduated a prestigious east coast college last year and is currently working for Americorps as a "fireman" as she seeks employment, my nephew is just about to start his 3rd year in the NAVY.

Bottom line the answer from my kids is they had the best of both worlds by being able to go to a christian school for their foundation, a public high school where they participated in sports, yearbook and class officers and off to college/NAVY. They all feel the biggest reason for success on their parts was hard work, dedication to their studies and being involved at their schools at all levels.

They also continue to this day to thank myself, their mom, step-mom for our participation and support. We were the parents that were "active'...at all conferences, sporting events, night meetings for their sports and activities, officers in those groups, etc.

It was such a comfort to me to be able to put my children through their church school where I knew that somebody gave a damn about them...and had time to!

My son told me this afternoon that at our church school all the kids were able to get one on one attention. He says teaching at the high school level he sees so many kids that have fallen through the tracks...teachers just don't have time with so many children in their classes to help those left behind.

When I was in school we had the robins/blue birds/ yellow birds...high-middle-low....

and were taught at those levels....

can't do that these days....sad for the kids that can't ever catch up.

I gave up things financially to put my kids through a private system (christian) for their foundation. I have zero regrets.

This does not mean children can't go through the public system without success!

I have met a lot of kids in my day...with my kids very involved in church youth groups....sports at school/college and recreational levels they had a lot of friends....I can tell you that kids that come from homes that give a damn about them and are involved in their lives have a much better chance to survive!

I can also tell you what I always tell the kids/parents that say to me "Your kids are so lucky, they are so smart"... that it isn't about grades it is about effort!

I cared enough about my kids to give them a good christian foundation in life, showed them that I cared about them in all the activities they wished to participate in from scouts to dance to the sports in college they all played by being an active parent.

Your child will need to do his job, as you well know, or it won't matter where he goes...

but if you remain concerned and active in his life he will probably do just fine...you won't be like the parent that wrote to the local paper here years ago this .....

"I had no idea my child could not read and write when he graduated high school...now he can't get a good job....the schools failed him"

now there was a parent that never went to a conference, helped out at a school event, helped with her child's homework, answered the "your kid is failing" letters, looked at a report card.....

Sorry this was so long

My advice ~ Private school (preferably christian ) ~ public high school ~ college ~ stay involved!! Participate in everything that creates well rounded children w/o becoming too busy to appreciate life as a family!

Good luck

Another poster had said this, too...

I went to an all-female private school for middle and high school after being tormented in public elementary school and testing with a high IQ that apparently exceeded what the gifted program in our county's schools could give me (I guess. Just what I was told.)

While obviously the all-female part wouldn't apply, I felt that in many ways I did have an advantage that I did not have otherwise. There was little distraction without the opposite gender. Not that you're looking for single-gender schools, but that was my greatest observation.

Also, due to the academically competitive and rigorous environment, the experience of my 11th and 12th grade years was probably comparable to one's first year of college. So I knew what kind of workload to expect going into college and was astonished that some of my peers didn't know/understand basic study skills that had been so heavily stressed at my school.

If I had not gone where I went for high school, I would most likely not be where I am in college now, either geographically or academically. College guidance counselors in a lot of private schools really go out of their way to help you get into the best place you can. We were actively encouraged to look out of state and our counselors were really helpful in finding scholarships as well. All 99 people in my graduating class in 2008 went to a four-year university, and as of this year, 100% of us are still in college. As far as I know, the graduating class from our all-male companion school is about the same. Most of my public school friends either went to our local community college or enrolled in the small local university here, which is an off-branch of UT.

Were there drugs/alcohol/sex/all kinds of other stuff teenagers get into? Of course there were, but I didn't see a marked difference between the people who did them in the private school community and the public school community. If kids are going to misbehave, they're going to misbehave. I had a good relationship with my family, and even if the opportunity had presented itself, I feel like I would have chosen the right thing because of that.

The only unfortunate thing was the cost. My high school education cost more than my college education is right now. I was lucky in that my school offered financial aid, otherwise I wouldn't have been able to go there. I must say that there was some pressure to try and fit in with the more affluent class of people with which I was surrounded, but I think there's pressure to fit in just about anywhere you go.

Anyway, just my two cents. Sorry for rambling.

I don't have kids, but I thought I'd add the opinions I've formed from my educational experiences anyway. :P

It really depends on the individual school. I went to fairly safe, mediocre and somewhat above-average public schools for elementary and high school, and a very safe, very ideologically and racially homogenous, educationally almost worthless Christian school for 6-8. My dad is a high school teacher, and he's taught at a variety of schools over the course of his career. Each of those schools operate on different assumptions about the nature of education and how students should be treated. Those schools also serve different populations with different needs, values, and expectations of their children (which is a big part of how kids behave in the classroom). There are also internal political and social dynamics that can affect the quality of education offered to students, but if you want to know what type of kids your child would be going to school with, look at the behavior and beliefs of the parents of his potential schoolmates. Do they value education? Are their other values similar to yours? Do they spend time with their kids? Do they have high expectations of their kids? Do they teach their kids to take responsibility for themselves? Do they teach their kids to solve conflicts peacefully and respect others, or do they teach their kids that physical violence and intimidation are acceptable ways of expressing oneself/getting one's way and that it's okay to disrespect or lie to other people?

It also depends on the child. None of the schools I attended for K-12 offered the academic challenge that I wanted, and my tendency to question things wasn't particularly well received at any school (Esp. the Christian school. I think some of the teachers in public school would have liked to have had deeper discussions, but were constrained by state standards, test-oriented evaluation, and many students' lack of intellectual curiosity and unwillingness (or inability) to think critically or creatively about things). Still, they were the best that my parents could afford, and the public schools did have gifted and talented programs at the elementary level and honors and AP courses at the high school level that I was enrolled in, as well as a greater variety of extracurricular activities. However, a majority of the students I interacted with at both types of school seemed pretty content with the educational and extracurricular opportunities available to them, and are probably not suffering too much from whatever educational deficits they may have. I intentionally supplemented my formal education by filling in what gaps I became aware of (e.g., memorizing the capitals of the world), reading broadly on my own, and by participating in gifted and talented summer programs (with financial assistance from my parents ).

Look at the curricula of the schools you're interested in, whatever data are available about student achievement, the teacher-student ratios, and (for private schools) their stated values or mission. You might also be able to tour schools by appointment to get a better feel for what they're like. If you already know that your son is intellectually gifted or has special learning or social needs, then getting his special needs met should be of particular consideration.

Since organized school sports usually don't start until middle school or later, would that be a major factor in his elementary school career? A lot of kids switch from private to public (and vice versa) between elementary, middle, and high school.

I think most individuals' academic success has more to do with personal commitment and parental expectations and involvement than it does with anything else, including ability. Regardless of the school he goes to, he'll still rely on you to learn what "acceptable" academic performance should be for him; to provide support, reinforcement, and guidance in figuring out difficult concepts or assignments; to make the connections between school and life (it's one thing to learn about counting and measuring from worksheets, but it's something else to help mom make a cake and get to count out the eggs and measure the flour); to provide him with more opportunities to learn by taking him places, allowing him to experience new things, and enrolling him in summer or after-school programs he might be interested in that are intended to instill knowledge or promote creativity; and to be his advocate if he's not getting the services he needs to fulfill his potential at whatever school he goes to.

The half-life of an idea in education is about 10 years. If I had to guess, I would say the NCLB nonsense, standardized testing and such are on their way out. California is moving to the Common Core Standards, which is a more concise, structured content standards than the 1997 version currently in use.

I think that there are good public school and bad public schools, just like there are bad private and good private schools. For myself, I would send my children to a public school, as I believe enough in it to take on CA public education as my profession; I'm also a product of the CA school system, with testing and exit exams and the whole 9 yards. I was prepared for college at the end of my 4 years. I don't think there is a reason to not place a child in a good public school unless there is an actual issue with that child's path.

I got a great education through public school. But this was in the 80's and times were very different. I think if you live in a decent area w/ decent schools then there is nothing wrong with public school.

Angie and I went out to dinner tonight and talking about our new GRANDdaughter and her future we got to remembering our kids when they were little....

we both agreed the greatest gift we ever gave them was their early years at our church school.

Having the comfort of knowing they were in a safe place from 6am until 6pm everyday (if needed) was such a blessing for 2 single parents!