LOL! Those are hilarious. I found these off a site:
Never go back for seconds... get it all the first time.
There aren't any calories in food on someone else's plate.
Touching a skinny person gives them all the calories. XD
Vegetables are a must on a diet. I suggest carrot cake, zucchini bread and pumpkin pie.
A great way to lose weight is to eat while you are naked and standing in front of a mirror. Restaurants will always throw you out before you can eat too much.
Convince your friends into thinking how good you're looking; study and memorize your most flattering pose in a mirror and ensure when anyone sees you, you strike the pose. Problem is that you have to maintain the pose until they leave.
Chocolate chips are fattening, about 50 calories a tablespoon. However, chocolate chips eaten while making chocolate chip cookies have no calories whatsoever. Therefore make chocolate chip cookies often but don't eat them.
All cakes are horrendously fattening. However, the calories can be eliminated simply by inscribing "Happy Birthday, Bob" or "Good Luck, Pauline" in coloured icing. Not only is it unnecessary to decline, it's impolite.
Sausages, cheese and the like are all fattening unless impaled on frilled toothpicks. The insertion of a sharp object allows the calories to leak out the bottom.
LOL.
Last edited by 3FCer344892; 06-12-2011 at 04:33 PM.
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Need more of these!
