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-   -   Could use some perspective (about my teen dd) (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/234043-could-use-some-perspective-about-my-teen-dd.html)

Ally Michelle 05-28-2011 10:57 AM

I am not a mother, but as a 20 y/o daughter I was in a similar situation. I played clairinet though...from 4th grade through 8th...and then high school came around.
I fought my dad about being in the marching band because those kids are tortured at my school :(
I wanted to make new friends and re-invent myself...which through my eyes was impossible in a band iniform.
I also wanted to GO to the football games and enjoy them. I instead used drama class as a creative outlet and found some of my best friends.
I know how irritating it was to my father but sometimes you just have to follow your gut and try something new in high school.
Im sure your dd would not be this stubborn if it didn't mean so much to her not to be a part of the band.

This all being said you sound like a great mom who only wants to best future for her daughter. (hugs)

But dont worry! There are so many other ways to get scholorships! Lots of ways that she would be so happy about :)
Best of luck.

p.s.
Im sorry my spell check won't work...its driving me crazy too! grr

Darkblue 05-28-2011 11:27 AM

I was in band in Junior High and just loved it, then we went to high school...

Marching band meant getting up at 0430 so we could practice on the field before the jocks got there. Band ranks lower than sports, so we got the worst practice times. I spent that year chronically sleep-deprived. Marching band meant wearing a wool 1960s uniform in the Midwestern 90+ degree heat for weeks, smelling all the previous wear-ers and the dry-cleaning fumes. It was nasty. Marching band meant losing every single Friday night for months. When it got colder, it meant bare fingers freezing to metal keys. And on top of it all, the football team didn't give a rip if we were there or not.

I hated marching band.

But that said, I loved music and loved concert band, and miss playing in a band or orchestra to this day. However, the misery of a year of marching band was not worth it. So yeah...I can totally see your daughter's point.

There are some great suggestions offered here. What else is available for her to do? Scouts? Summer classes/workshops? Could she tutor a younger student with music lessons?

Good luck...raising a teenager isn't easy!


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