What makes me happy...my kids, having a grandbaby is the best! reading a good book. Stepping on the scale and seeing a loss, music and so on...lots of things but I have to say mostly my little grandbaby Lily...she is the GREATEST!

Warm clothes right out of the dryer!! Having my hubby, step daughter and cat all home together. Just two of many that make me happy.

Right now a hot shower, hot towels out of the dryer, a cup of peppermint tea, clean sheets and my puppy before bed would make me infintely happy.

I'm so sorry to hear all that you're going through. Maybe for now, it might be useful to just let yourself be sad. I know that sounds awful, but you have a lot of stresses right now. In trying to force yourself to be happy, you're adding more stress to the pile, possibly making the situation even worse.

I guess what I mean is that--you're down for a reason. Many reasons, in fact. And as horrible as it is, it's part of life, and you need to let yourself be sad. As a culture, I think we pressure ourselves and each other to be happy. But you don't have to be happy right now. I'd suggest seeking content moments. This will pass, things always do.

Things will get better, you'll feel better--but maybe not just yet--and that's okay.

Basking in the sun...don't know if it's just the nice feeling of being outdoors or the Vitamin D boost, but it almost always makes me feel content (I just have to remember to snap out of it and put on sunblock or get inside before it makes me feel like a lobster).

So normally I believe that happiness is a choice; we can't control all the things that happen in our lives, but we can control how we will react to them and how we will frame them. However, I think that given everything that's going on for you, it would be an impossible time to 'choose' to be happy. That said, I see that you already are reframing some of what's gone wrong -- when you describe what you've learned from your Grandfather I see that happening -- you are finding reasons to celebrate his life. I'm very sorry for your loss.

I hope you'll be able to take some of the favourites people have listed here and make time in your day to make yourself happy. Here is my list:

• A shower before bed
• Clean sheets
• Listening to a book on my ipod
• When my DS comes to my bed and snuggles up to me
• Sitting on my deck with a cup of coffee on Saturday/Sunday morning
• Singing along to songs in the car
• Wearing a dress
• Getting a pedicure
• Going to the hairdresser

You know, my tendency has always been toward the maudlin -- I historically have wrung my hands and really carried on over everything remotely upsetting that has happened in my world. You aren't that type, and I've read where people with your penchant for turning the coin over to find the brighter side actually live longer.

In a grief situation, where I've lost someone close, I've always gravitated toward the feeling that smiling, or God forbid, laughing, would be a betrayal of the person's memory. GUILT for being okay. And I have carried on with this self-imposed misery for WAY too long several times. Which of course is ridiculous, because my beloved gramma, for instance, would wish that I experience joy and NOT suffer over her passing.

I'm rambling now, but to you for all you are going through, and try to keep that guilt over living well at bay.