Hi all,

I have never posted here, but my mom just called, very upset and wanting my advice, and I thought this would be the best place to come!
My mom has a friend you is rather overweight. My mom is not overweight but has some eating/self-image issues and thus is really conscious of both her weight and that of everyone else as well. Apparently she and her friend recently got together and the friend ("Mary") was dressed up and "looking very pretty", according to my mom. My mom, in some horribly misguided moment, said to Mary--"you would be so pretty if you lost a lot of weight!"

Imho that is probably THE WORST thing she could have ever said, but she says she has no idea why she said it and feels horrible. Does anyone have any advice on how to make amends, or is this relationship over?

Thanks so much!

I prefer the straightforward approach to apologies: "The comment I made earlier was extremely insensitive/awfully rude/(your mother should use words that are natural to her way of speaking) and I am sorry."
Period.
The listener should then be allowed to respond in whatever way she sees fit.

I agree with this...no way to sugar coat this one....just dive right in and take the lumps.