men can be such asses sometimes. i have had major back problems since i was a child. when my husband and i moved in together we got a cheap bed and it died within a few years. well, when his side collapsed, he made me trade places with him because "your back hurts all the time already, so why should i suffer too?" gee thanks.

we got a new mattress and it's nice a big. i can lay on my side- put my arm all the way out- and not touch him even though he's in bed too. it's glorious.

When my ex and I got together, he insisted on using the bed which he and his ex had used for who knows how long. It was a water bed which was past its best - it was awful. Really hot in the summer and constantly swished. Anyway, it sprung a leak which couldn't be fixed. I was delighted. (And no, I didn't help the leak.) We could finally get a normal bed that didn't have a history.

Unfortunately, the new bed didn't help our situation, we finally separated and I am so much better off without him. It's a shame, the Captain didn't go down with his ship. (No, he wasn't naval, he was something else!)

I really think that when couples get together, combining furniture is one thing but using a bed with a bad history should be avoided.

I hear ya, oh I do. However, you never mentioned if he *refused* to buy a new bed prior? You obviously bought a futon...at that time did he reject getting a new mattress set?

gets my vote