Clothes you wouldn't be caught dead in
 

I have a definite list of clothes I wouldn't wear if I was paid to model them.

Number one on that list is the muumuu. I think this is emotional baggage leftover from the days when big women wore muumuus because that's all that was available to them. The trouble is, those big round puffy muumuus make even thin women look ginormous. How can any woman look good in something shaped like a tent, especially when it's so boldly patterned that it enters the room five minutes before she does? When I want the convenience and comfort of a muumuu, I'll wear a sundress instead.

Also on my list:

Polyester knit slacks. You know, the kind with the all-around elastic waist, usually bright-colored, and with a sewn-in crease up the front of the legs. I've rarely seen anyone under the age of 60 wearing them.

Swimdresses. These were forever touted as the "fat woman's" bathing suit, to "hide" those big thighs. Nothing like wearing a stereotype, to advertise to the world that you're trying to hide something. I do a tankini instead. All the coverage of a one-piece, with the convenience of a two-piece. No, the bottom half of my tankini does not have a skirt.

Solid black. While the LBD may be cute on many women, I'm rebelling against, "No, no, dear. You can't wear red. You have to wear black. It's slimming." Oh, bite me. I'm not going to look skinny in anything I wear, so don't take choice away from me. Even at a funeral, I won't wear solid black unless I pair it with a bright color, or white.

Thong underwear. For reasons I'd rather not say. Or show.

Bermuda shorts. I don't know, when I was a kid it seemed like all the fat ladies wore them. I like for my shorts to be hemmed midway between the hip and the knee.

What's on your no-no list?

Clothing is all relative to time, place, budget, and personal style.

For instance, I won't wear anything muumuu-ish here. But in Hawaii? Costa Rica? Get me on vacation over there and I might! Those types of hot places evolved loose cotton dresses for a reason. But I do prefer the Guami style of solids with accents to big all over floral ones.

I'm not keen on thongs, super high heels, clothing that's too fussy to launder, animal prints, and neon colors. I'm also not keen on things so short that don't pass the toe test. (Bend over and touch your toes and take a gander at the rear view in a mirror. )

A.

I grew up in a city that a lot of polynesian families so they often wore muumuus because that was their culture but I never saw anyone else wearing them. A lot of them looked really nice and the women were of all different sizes. When I went to Hawaii, I bought a dress there, it wasn't a muu muu but it was a similar style.

I'm not sure I have anything on my will not wear list, it really depends on the clothes.

I could say I'd never wear bright pants but who knows if that would be true tomorrow.

I would've also said that I would've never worn primary black on top and bottom but then I went to White House/Black Market and found some fabulous clothes. I'd totally wear my black jeans with my black beaded top or other tops I got there.

In the past, I would've also said I would've never bought long tops. It seems many overweight women buy long tops to cover their belly. I never saw the point. Yesterday, I wore a fabulous tunic top though.

I've said this before, when someone else asked this question: Anything worn by the cast of the TV shows Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious and Jersey Couture.

A branch of female relatives used to come up to Pennsylvania from New Jersey & influenced some of the Pennsylvania relatives' tastes. While I looked on in horror. And refused to grow out my nails or get fake ones, tease up my hair, use a tanning bed or tanner from a bottle, or buy any clothing they thought was "cute."

In their way, they looked great, but it is definitely not MY way.

I absolutely adore swim skirts. I'm a pear shape and my big thighs are my nemesis. Plus, I just love skirts in general and think swim skirts are adorable!

What I wouldn't be caught dead in:

Long, tunic style sweaters. That was my fat girl uniform!

Skinny jeans - I need a flared hem to balance out my hips.

oh yeah skinny jeans. My butt is just too out there, I'd definitely look like an ice cream cone in skinny jeans.

There are also definitely a lot of cute swim skirts/dresses although I've had some trouble swimming in them in the past due to the skirt rising up. I recently bought some swim shorts, those do well.

Skinny jeans- I look like an icecream cone.
supershort anything- I don't like having to sneak up on a waterfountain or stragegize before sitting in a chair, on the other hand I love maxi dresses. I love anything long.

Polyester slacks: there's a woman who gets her nails done at the same place I do and she has those. Her whole outfit looks so fussy, like too perfect. She probably things she looks 'smart', but she comes off as old.

Bolero jackets: Just don't understand it. It doesn't keep me warm or anything, and accents what I don't want accented.

thongs: yes, I can totally feel that, and yes, I've tried multiple sizes/brands...just not for me.

Stirrup Pants: I don't ride horses. This is a throwback from when they were first hoisted upon the public and my mother tried to talk me into them....

Tube tops. Bra size is 34GG. 'Nuf said.

Oh the tube tops and tube dresses. I see those and think, what? Are you crazy. I know a girl who used to insist on wearing those but wore a bra underneath but you saw most of the bra. It didn't look cute.

One of the horrifying fashion moments when I gained weight was when I could no longer fit into junior size pants. Why do womens/misses pants always have about 45 inches of fabric between the crotch and the waistband? Your choices are to either pull the waist up around your neck or have the crotch hang down to your ankles. WTH? :mad: I refuse to ever get so fat that I have wear those again!

Another major dislike is flower print. Why does walking into the plus size section of a store make you feel like you took a wrong turn into a greenhouse? Who decided fat women look fabulous in flowers?

And those weird shorts for old and/or fat women. They're like capris but the leg is cut about 3 foot wider than your actual leg and they usually come in pastels like yellow or pink. Or sweatshirts with cutesy things like puppies or sunflowers or barns.

Pants OR shirts with elastic waistbands. Anything polyester. Plastic shoes.

Originally Posted by astrophe:
For instance, I won't wear anything muumuu-ish here. But in Hawaii? Costa Rica? Get me on vacation over there and I might! Those types of hot places evolved loose cotton dresses for a reason. But I do prefer the Guami style of solids with accents to big all over floral ones.

Me too. :) I think I just have issues with anything a fat woman is "supposed" to wear.

Originally Posted by astrophe:
I'm also not keen on things so short that don't pass the toe test. (Bend over and touch your toes and take a gander at the rear view in a mirror. )

Moon over Miami?

Originally Posted by nelie:
oh yeah skinny jeans. My butt is just too out there, I'd definitely look like an ice cream cone in skinny jeans.

There are also definitely a lot of cute swim skirts/dresses although I've had some trouble swimming in them in the past due to the skirt rising up. I recently bought some swim shorts, those do well.

:D at the "ice cream cone." Last year I had a skirted tankini. It was all I could find, and I wore it until I could find a brief bottom. I also had problems with the skirt floating to the top, in a hot tub.

Originally Posted by nelie:
Oh the tube tops and tube dresses. I see those and think, what? Are you crazy. I know a girl who used to insist on wearing those but wore a bra underneath but you saw most of the bra. It didn't look cute.

Jeff Foxworthy said, "If you wear a dress that is strapless with a bra that isn't, you might be a redneck." :lol: Seriously, where I went to school, girls didn't DARE wear tube tops or tube dresses. They even had problems wearing halter tops, or anything else that easily came unfastened from the back. It didn't matter what the girls looked like. It was the neighborhood boys that caused the problem. Sneak. Tug. AAAAAAUGH!

Originally Posted by Rochester:
One of the horrifying fashion moments when I gained weight was when I could no longer fit into junior size pants. Why do womens/misses pants always have about 45 inches of fabric between the crotch and the waistband? Your choices are to either pull the waist up around your neck or have the crotch hang down to your ankles. WTH? :mad: I refuse to ever get so fat that I have wear those again!

....

Pants OR shirts with elastic waistbands. Anything polyester. Plastic shoes.

We must have drastically different body types :) Most jeans are below my belly button or at my belly button. I've found a lot of misses jeans that were way too low. I have a sizeable bottom so they end up not covering my butt entirely.

I've never worn junior sizes.

Oh and elastic... I about cringe when I see elastic on pants.

Anything with huge flowers. Why do they put such big ugly flowers on plus sized clothes? I was at Target yesterday, and that's all they had!

All white. Not only am I a disaster waiting to happen in all white, it just doesn't flatter me.

Anything strapless or (aside from a bra) depends on the girls to hold anything in place.

I also hate strapless.

I was surprised by how many wedding dresses were strapless when I was gown hunting last year. I have pretty arms, but I have some leftover loose skin under my arms - strapless DOES NOT FLATTER.

I would never wear super high waisted jeans.. Like the belly button is my limit. lol

anything with "elastic" that is not an undergarmet.

polyester...nuf said

"mom" jeans, nothing touches my bellybotton, not even the waiste band of my pants.

micro-mini skirts. who ever though those where a good idea?

MOM JEANS! omg. no. *shutter*

I always wonder when mom jeans come into play. When are those okay? Is it like the old lady who goes to the salon and decides that 'old lady hair' is the way to go? Like when you reach a certain age, you can't be stylish?

Another thing: the 'whale tail', when the thong is showing on purpose, usually w/ muffin top....

Originally Posted by Rochester:
Another major dislike is flower print. Why does walking into the plus size section of a store make you feel like you took a wrong turn into a greenhouse? Who decided fat women look fabulous in flowers?

And those weird shorts for old and/or fat women. They're like capris but the leg is cut about 3 foot wider than your actual leg and they usually come in pastels like yellow or pink. Or sweatshirts with cutesy things like puppies or sunflowers or barns.

Pants OR shirts with elastic waistbands. Anything polyester. Plastic shoes.

I agree with most of what you have to say, especially the floral prints. Could anything be uglier?

However, if it weren't for elastic, wow, I couldn't wear pants. :D

MissNibs

Could someone PLEASE explain to me why people like UGG boots?

They're too hot in the summer and when it rains in the winter they'd get soggy. They look hideous and make you look shorter and stumpy.

WHY do people like them so much? D:

Call me a frump, but I wear poly slacks, they're nice and comfortable. Only in dark colors though, black, navy, charcoal gray, brown, dark green. (HIJACK Betcha didn't know: navy isn't used as a color in jockeys' silks because it's too hard to tell from black at a distance END HIJACK)

LBDs are strictly for LW! (Of course I'm a fine one to talk, it's probably been 25 y or more since I wore any kind of dress or skirt.) But I don't mind wearing a black top with black slacks. And I don't kid myself that it makes me look thinner because it doesn't. Nothing does.

And I wouldn't be caught dead wearing a tank top

Um grey jogging pants. Though I kinda live in yoga pants. Actually the same pairs (about 5 or 6) Ive had for about 4 years... Once I get to 160 they are going in the TRASH!

I think it was when everyone in high school wore them.. I just could never bring myself too. They bother me on me. (yes I have tried, and you are welcome for me not wearing them)

BTW When I weighed about 140 and was 16 I totally rocked a muumuu when I lived in a hotel for like a month. It was BRIGHT yellow. I have NO idea where I got it.. I am thinking value village? then again I used to buy old men's suits and wear them sometimes haha. :)
Oh and in case youw erent cringing- yes old man pants, and jacket but like a barney shirt meant for an 8 year old. It fit, but yeah lol

Originally Posted by Flamethrower:
Could someone PLEASE explain to me why people like UGG boots?

They're too hot in the summer and when it rains in the winter they'd get soggy. They look hideous and make you look shorter and stumpy.

WHY do people like them so much? D:

I'm as lost as you are. They're called "UGG" for a reason, I think.

And underneath those Mom jeans....

Some people ridicule anyone wearing "granny panties," which I would have taken to mean something like bloomers. But teenage girls have explained that to the modern way of thinking, anything that is white or pastel, and covers the entire posterior, is granny panties. This includes hipsters and bikinis, and leaves young girls who don't want to be laughed at with what? Thongs? Now, I don't like full-cut panties that come all the way up to your bra line, but if my white cotton hipsters are still "granny panties," then so what? I *am* a grandma. And isn't it unhealthy to wear dark-colored undies? Doesn't it increase the likelihood of a bladder infection or something?

The male equivalent of the granny panties is the "tighty whities," which many modern teenage boys consider childish. If they're not wearing colorful boxers, they'll get laughed out of the locker room.

Originally Posted by LovebirdsFlying:
And isn't it unhealthy to wear dark-colored undies? Doesn't it increase the likelihood of a bladder infection or something?

I have never heard this before. I also, almost exclusively, wear only dark *thongs, thank you* and have never had a bladder infection? :?:

I like swim dresses, but only when the skirt is nice and short, no mid thigh skirts on my swim suits!

I will never wear stirrup pants. *shudder*
I will never wear Crocs, I don't care HOW comfortable they are, I'll stick with my Vans thanks.
I will never (be able to) wear tube tops, halter tops, strapless dresses, etc.
I will never wear a micro-mini (except maybe for Halloween as part of a costume).
I will never wear anything that purposely bares my midriff, I think it's tacky.
I will never wear skinny jeans, boyfriend cut and boot cut are more my style.

Originally Posted by roxmysox:
I have never heard this before. I also, almost exclusively, wear only dark *thongs, thank you* and have never had a bladder infection? :?:

I am not sure, which is why I phrased it as a question. Maybe some people are more prone to them than others. I remember when there used to be colored toilet paper, and that stopped because the dye had adverse effects on (especially female) urinary systems. Maybe they were allergic to it in the first place, but the dye was bad news for some people. It stands to reason that the same would apply to the dye in colored underwear. And I have had that problem, so I feel safer with white cotton, as opposed to a dyed synthetic.

Originally Posted by :
the 'whale tail', when the thong is showing on purpose, usually w/ muffin top....

I dislike this.

I'll stick to my hi-cut granny panties. ;)

That whole undies infection thing... I never heard it related to color, but fit and fabric. Too tight/non breathing fabric and you risk yeast infection/overgrowth.

A.

In my circle of friends (mid-to-late 30's), granny panties are defined by an excess of material. Granny panties completely cover the "cheeks" and the waistband comes up over the belly button. Granny panties can often be seen peeking out of the waistband of pants (especially when one is seated), even high-waisted pants like "mom jeans." Finally, granny panties are almost always white or flower-print.

Gimme a bikini-cut or a thong, please! Just enough material to cover the essentials. :)

I'm not crazy about uggs either. I don't wear sleevless or short sleeves (despite my pic here), I prefer 3/4, I'm not thrilled with my upper arms. I look lousy in sandals too (ankles too thick).

I have a pair of flared leg polyester black slacks from Lane Bryant that I like (non elastic waist band), but I do have memories of ugly pants in that material, sheesh! Cotton and linen feel so good. These new blends of cotton and spandex (?) are great.

I get the ice cream cone look from certain straight legged jeans too, not good. I don't wear shorts, I'm a big legged/thighed gal.

I always thought of granny panties as panties with excessive fabric or the full cut briefs. High cut briefs, bikinis, hipsters, etc aren't granny panties.

I will also never understand UGGs except that they are UGGly. Crocs I don't like either but I understand that people with certain foot issues seem to see benefits from them.

Despite my large upper arm/loose skin, I do wear tank tops sometimes. I like them :)

Whoah--with a bikini like that, why even wear clothes? I've never seen something so small on 'real' people but would freak out of if I did. I do dig the more vintage swimsuits, though, that old school sexiness.

Swimsuits are a pain, I have a heck of a time trying to find one that doesn't leave my cheeks hangin' out. I want coverage!

I've never known what a romper was, or that it was trendy until now. Personally I don't think I could pull it off, I think I'd look like humpty dumpty

I'm a croc's person. I love 'em, and I think most people forget that there are plenty of other styles besides the clog. They don't hurt my feet and I like the way they look....

Other things I wouldn't do: hotpants/booty shorts. If I'm driving, and look down at my lap, it shouldn't look like I have underwear on. I want to see some material on my leg.

Overall I think clothes today are too revealing. If someone wants to be sexy, leave something to the imagination!

Originally Posted by MissNibs:
However, if it weren't for elastic, wow, I couldn't wear pants. :D

oh, the joys of being an apple shape!! If I didn't wear elastic waists, anything that fit at my waist would be about 3 sizes too big in the butt and thighs. And I can assure you, that is NOT a flattering look! lol! But I wear jersey, yoga pants type knits, not the doubleknit polyester with the fake crease.

And I also agree about high waisted pants in general. They are just so uncomfortable! I love stuff that not's a super low rise, but a couple of inches below the belly button is just so much more comfortable to wear!

With elastic, I'm not referring to stretchy pants. I'm referring to visible elastic waist bands in things like slacks or even jeans.

Like this:
http://www.etreavis.com/acatalog/41389-elastic-lg.jpg

I'm with all the anti elastic waist pants people. My mom is an apple shape, and that is all she can wear, so growing up that's all she bought me. I'm a pear shape. I need some something with a waist. The only thing I have that is elastic waisted besides my panties (high cut, thong or sexy to match my bras), is my work out gear. Also I hate oversize tops. Again was forced to wear them for years. I like a closer fitting shirt.
I absolutely hate Uggs and Crocs too and printed socks. Give me plain white cotton socks, black socks, or trouser socks.
I also love thigh high stockings with a garter belt. So much more comfortable (and sexy) than pantyhose.

awww- I love colored and patterned socks! So much fun :)

I agree with the elastic banded pants. Just terrible, and they do this weird poke out in all the wrong places thing on me.

Interesting question!

#1 is my definition of "granny panties", which essentially means anything that goes up to my waist and has a lower-cut leg. I do not need that much coverage. I don't wear thongs, though...I tend toward bikini or boy short cuts. But they're all *cute*...no more ugly underwear!

#2 - Shorts. Of all kinds. If it's above the knee, it isn't for me. Same with mini skirts and anything else above the knee. I do not have attractive knees. Period.

#3 - Shapeless dresses. Muumuus fall into this category, but a nice fitted maxi-dress, even though it provides a lot of coverage, does not. I need my clothes to have some shape to them, because I'm boyishly built and need to emphasize shape whenever I can.

#4 - Pants suits. When I was bigger and had business meetings, I always wore boxy suits with straight leg pants. Now they make me feel so dowdy and boxy. I wear nice, fitted suits with pencil skirts and feel powerful!

I love printed socks. I have the most beautiful sock collection, I'm very picky. www.ozonesocks.com is a big favorite1

Oh! The women in my home town wear these wierd, elastic waisted pants that are cotton, with a 'denim' pattern. No one is being fooled! Those are not jeans!!

Originally Posted by saef:
I've said this before, when someone else asked this question: Anything worn by the cast of the TV shows Jersey Shore, Jerseylicious and Jersey Couture.

LMAO! :D