General chatter Because life isn't just about dieting. Play games, jokes, or share what's new in your life!

Thread Tools
Old 05-06-2010, 03:13 PM   #1  
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2006
Posts: 40

Default Major loaded question

Ok, I know this is a very, very loaded question and please know that I know it is sensitive hot, but there is a reason I want to ask and get opinions on. Neither is anything nobody would ever want or deserve.

Which is worse.....a husband that cheats on his wife or a husband that hits/physically abuses his wife? Again, either is the pits!!!
lovemylabs is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2010, 03:18 PM   #2  
Healthy is Beautiful
ThicknPretty's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Chattanooga, TN
Posts: 719

S/C/G: 214/144/160

Height: 5"8


I don’t think there is a scale for such behavior. Either is awful and inexcusable.

However, if I had to pick, I would say that it is worse for a man to physically abuse his wife. Obviously for safety and health reasons. That is just from my perspective. I hope to never be in either situation, but if I had to pick one for myself, I’d rather be cheated on than beaten.

Of course I’m dying to know why one would ask such a question…

Last edited by ThicknPretty; 05-06-2010 at 03:19 PM.
ThicknPretty is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2010, 03:20 PM   #3  
I'm not fat, I'm fluffy
MementoxMori's Avatar
Join Date: May 2010
Location: Spokane, WA
Posts: 31

S/C/G: 599+/304/250

Height: 5'6


They're both equally bad, well.. to a point.

Physical abuse (along with any kind of abuse) is the lowest thing you can do to your significant other. Its degrating and harmful. I've been both physically and emotionally/mentally abused in relationships and if I knew then what I know now, I would never have stuck around.

Cheating, while bad, and a trust breaker, is something that can be fixed. At least in my opinion. Just because a spouse cheats, does not mean they do not love who they're with. There's many factors involved in this, and it depends on the situation.

Say.. you were in a Jesse James/Tiger Woods situation. There is no way in **** i could forgive that. But if it was once, with one person that would be something to work on and see if the relationship could be salvaged.

As for abuse. It's a one strike and you're out policy,
MementoxMori is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2010, 03:23 PM   #4  
Senior Member
mammasita's Avatar
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: VA
Posts: 1,147

S/C/G: 218/150/155

Height: 5'7"


A husband that physically abuses his wife.

A husband who cheats is certainly devastating in its own right, but a woman can change the situation, i.e. leave, kick him out, divorce etc. An abused woman, in my opinion, is likely in a place where codependency and low self esteem exists as well (sure, this can happen with cheating too). I just think that physical abuse from a husband is much worse and the effects are longer lasting than cheating.
mammasita is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2010, 03:31 PM   #5  
Just keep breathing!
GradPhase's Avatar
Join Date: May 2008
Location: East Texas
Posts: 1,071

S/C/G: 191.7/191.7/145

Height: 5'5


Both are abusive, and both can be deadly. Whether it's emotional abuse or physical abuse, and whether it's a fatal blow to the head, or HIV, they are both absolutely devastating.

I too am awfully curious as to the OP's intentions, here..
GradPhase is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2010, 03:31 PM   #6  
Boston Qualifier and MOM
ennay's Avatar
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Oregon
Posts: 6,346

Height: 5'3.75"


Physical abuse for the most part.

Cheating...there is a spectrum. Some men who cheat are also emotional abusers. Two of my friends were married to serial cheaters who ALSO emotionally abused and that I actually think is worse than physical abuse because many women do not know how to recognize emotional abuse. In otherwords they put up with the cheating because these men convinced them they were so unworthy and disgusting women that of course no other man would touch them etc.

But there are also men (and woman) who are otherwise decent human beings who have cheated on their partners. I know 2 men who I think are good people who I also know have cheated. Although the wives in both cases were far more taken by surprise because they are otherwise good men and it seemed so out of character.

I really dont think you can say that ALL cheating is emotional abuse. Selfish, yes. Devastating, yes. But not abusive.

Last edited by ennay; 05-06-2010 at 03:32 PM.
ennay is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-06-2010, 03:38 PM   #7  
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Posts: 726

S/C/G: 173/ticker/123

Height: 5' 5"


I'd say physical abuse. It is a slippery path down to murder. And the physical and emotional scarring is permanent. I am fortunate that I never dated anyone who ever lifted a finger toward me. But I hope that if I had, I'd have the presence of mind to leave him immediately.

My ex husband had an affair. I left him before I found out he cheated. Our marriage was long beyond repair when he started the affair. While I was furious when I found out, I didn't blame him. I had to take some responsibility for that awful marriage. I was horrible too.

I hope your question is hypothetical, but if it isn't, I hope someone seeks help immediately.
motivated chickie is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2010, 08:51 AM   #8  
Senior Member
Palestrina's Avatar
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: New York, NY
Posts: 4,607

S/C/G: 215/188/150

Height: 5'4"


Wanna know what's worse than both of those things? A woman who allows those things to continue.
Palestrina is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 05-07-2010, 10:27 AM   #9  
No description available.
midwife's Avatar
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Bat Country
Posts: 6,915


The statistics of domestic violence are extremely troubling and chances are very good that some of our sisters (or brothers) here at 3FC live in fear of violence. Leaving sounds so simple but is often complicated by lack of resources, support, choices and a very real fear of escalating violence. It can take many attempts to leave before one is successful.
midwife is offline   Reply With Quote

Related Topics
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
A question for those who used to, or even still, keep food diaries FresnoBeeDude Living Maintenance 15 02-29-2008 08:22 AM
Major Stress, Major Triggers!! Repo girl General Diet Plans and Questions 11 12-05-2005 02:30 PM
Alternachicks 3 Ruthxxx Alternachicks 278 08-01-2002 07:33 AM

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off

All times are GMT -4. The time now is 12:27 AM.

We are a participant in the Amazon Services LLC Associates Program, an affiliate advertising program designed to provide a means for us to earn fees by linking to and affiliated sites.