I think I would be stressed out big time if I was in your situation. I myself have NEVER been to a baby shower that included food other than a cake and punch. And maybe those mints and mixed nuts.

Don't include her anymore in the decisions.. just make sure her friends and family are invited and you guys do the rest.

I am kind of feeling like astrophe now--back out and grab your own oxygen mask.

Sunkisses, you have a good heart.

Unfortunately, in our society, we have people that are users, pure and simple. And that's exactly the type of person you're dealing with here. I suspect you didn't really realize it when you first offered to host the shower, but now that you're having this experience you are beginning to understand this.

If both you and your friend could back out without feeling guilty, I wouldn't hesitate to do so. But if that's not possible, then I agree with the others who say to keep it as simple as you can.

And IMO, you have ample justification for dropping this effort without feeling the first pang of guilt. You owe this young woman nothing, and she has shown zero consideration for you and your friend.

I would do the free space....people can carpool...

do the cake and drinks or make it a potluck...

do a few simple games--two cheap ones I can think of are to buy a roll of streamer to cut for a guess at the size of mama's belly and the clothespin game--cost of the clothespins--pick a word like baby or cute or several words--the one with the most clothespins wins--

another that is cheap one is a celebrity parent and baby names--there are websites with all the strange baby names--all you have to do is make a sheet-if you want pm me your email address and I think I have the one I did at my nieces that is done already that I can send you

if you have a tie for the winner of a game have the mom pick a number between 1 and 20 and the closest guess gets the prize

the dollar store is a great place for the "prizes" and tablecloths for the food and present tables only and you can also get the cups, forks, napkins and plates there.

for the table that has the cake on it get a flower in a vase and one baby shower type balloon--thats all the decoration you need

don't go totally overboard and spend alot of money....

I have been to both simple and ridiculously overdone baby showers...both are over suprisingly fast considering the stress that goes into the planning of them...

Love Jules1216's ideas. You don't need to go all out. Like I said my friend was the same way. She for some reason got rid of all her baby stuff and then complained about how she had nothing for the new baby. This wasn't a surprise conception at all, so this seemed very deliberate to a few close friends of hers.

you could always cancel, just say you will be unable to be hostess for a baby shower.

I agree :)

Although your description of the mom made my opinion very bias. Buying a dog--essentially a fourth child--with another kid on the way that you 'can't afford' is incredibly irresponsible and ultimately unfair to the children. It was so sweet of you to step in to help this struggling mother... but she has to want to help herself before others can help her.

And in my complex way of thinking, she pretty much took your money to buy that dog, which frustrates me all the more! (Bare with me. By throwing her a shower, she spends all that much less on the new baby, so those $$$'s that were meant for the baby can now go toward something else... which happens to be a dog.)

I'm sorry if I'm a big judgmental. Irresponsible parents really press my buttons though. (And I realize, for all I know, she could in actuality be the most responsible parent in the world. I'm just going off the information that you provided us with ;) )