21 and I've never had a relationship until now.

I’ve always had my guard up, I’ve always been cynical when it comes to love. But then he walked into my life. Fooled me. In the beginning I was screaming and fighting to not get close to him. He knew that. He knew all my insecurities and all my fears. In the end he used it against me. What hurts the most is the fact that he doesn’t have the decency to tell me. He just stopped calling and writing me messages. How I found out is that he deleted me from his facebook account. A week later he writes me a letter and he says that he doesn't think he could be the type of guy that he needs because he's always busy with work. I replied and I told him that I put up with it because I wanted to, not because I had to and that I was hurt because he just gave up without trying. He replied back and said that he wanted to try he just had to hash out these feelings...it's been 21 days.. I feel foolish..it just hurts and all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry.

I've never felt like this about a guy and I fear that I wont ever feel like this again. I feel angry & bitter but somehow a part of me misses him..even if he's acting like a jerk.

Maybe im the wrong person to be giving advice seeing as i have never been in love or even dated for that matter. But i do have a lot of experiences with friends and their love lives.
You obviously can do better than some guy who doesnt even have the nerve to end it like a man. He just deleted you from facebook and thought you would go away.. I know it may seem like the world is falling apart but think of it this way there are so many people out there that will treat you how you are suppose to be treated. The hard part is finding him. I hope this helped a bit. dont cry over him he isnt worth it..

Thanks Tiara..after reading that it made me

And I agree with Tiara. It will get better. He's not worth your time if he is going to be that disrespectful.. It's all very cliche, but its true. I thought I found someone once for the first time and he gave me a lot of heartache and confusion.. I really thought I'd lost my "soulmate" - but I eventually found someone else and realized how much of a waste it would have been to have stayed or pined for the former. I always found grief with guys that were "unsure" of their feelings.. it never worked out, I always blamed myself for it but then you realize that it's just that the feelings on there side just weren't strong enough, and there's nothing you can do about that, so it's better not to drive yourself crazy over guys like that. Afterwards, I took a chance on someone outside my type and found someone with unwavering affection.. it was the opposite at first, then I realized how much I really did love this person, on a deeper level than anything else I'd experienced. Now its been 5 years.. ~ You'll find someone like that who is just as crazy or even crazier about you as you are to him, so just look at this guy as an experience~ Just focus on yourself and be open to love, I think you'll be fine! It hurts now, but there will be better!

Hey girl,
I am almost 21 and I have had a couple boyfriends. All I can say is, your heart will get that broken feeling, but it WILL heal. Look at the positive side- he took himself out of your life before you had to run away from it. Some things just aren't meant to be. Some relationships drag on forever because it is really hard to break away from them (like a bad habit). Your heart might be broken briefly, but think of a woman who is stuck in a bad relationship for years and doesn't have the strength to leave. Him being gone makes room for the right guy to come into the picture. Try to focus on yourself, your job or school, and your hobbies. When the right guy comes in your life you will know it.. you won't want to run away and he won't just run away either. Good luck, do something relaxing for yourself, and let that heart heal.


By the way.. my first breakup I couldn't stop thinking about it for months. I started to loathe, hate and be upset about this person. Nowadays, I rarely think about it unless someone says the phrase "bad relationship". Don't worry.. it's normal

I agree with Tiara took. This guy is soooo not worth it!!! Seriously, how immature is it to just stop calling, stopped writing, and then just delete you from FB? It's VERY immature!! A guy once broke up with me on my answering machine, while I was on vacation. But that was in the 7th grade. So this guy seems to be on a 7th grade level in my book.

The right guy is out there for you!! So don't give up. You may have to wait awhile before he shows up..and even date other guys in the meantime. But he IS out there!! Or he could already be in your life, and you may not even realize it.

Breakups are always hard. You never seem to forget your first love, and your first breakup.

sorry to hear that. it's not always easy to know who deserves your love and devotion, it's trial and error. when you're in a good place, ready to give and receive, then I think it will feel less scary, and you'll be better able to follow your instincts. and even if someone doesn't pan out, really, there are a gazillion wonderful guys out there that would love to be with you (I'm not a big believer in the soul mate theory)

Trust your gut. You know what to do. Stay true to yourself and hold your head high. In the end, ourselves is all we have.

p.s. LOTSA big hugs coming your way too!

I've had plenty of heartache and heartbreak in my life and your situation that you're facing sounds eerily familiar to me. I like the advice the others have given you and I also think that its a blessing that he took himself out of your life. No matter how much it hurts now, with time that pain will heal.

I thought that after all that I've been through, that I would never find that right one...that it wasn't even worth it with the quality of men out there. But my Mr. Right came into my life so unexpectedly. I really do believe that love finds you when you least expect it.

OMG, I just went through the similar thing back the first part of November. We had been together for 14 months. It does get easier, I think of him less and less. The hurt is not so significant. Trust me, move on, he doesn't deserve you. You want someone who loves you more than you love them. Don't "put up" with nonsense just to have someone. It took me a while to listen to myself, basically what I am telling you. Many hugs to you, my friend. It does get better.

and remember....

Time wounds all heals...

thanks guys ..after reading the comments it's really helping to put things into perspective.