I never thought I could do anything. I'm a 4.0 student, a semi-talented singer, a decent writer, and a passable artist. But I never thought I deserved whatever talents I may possess. I still don't.
But ever since I started my journey, each pound gone or inch shrunk has been a victory. A real accomplishment that I KNOW I did all on my own.
As I slowly descend towards my goal weight, my over-all goals seem to be growing exponentially without my say so.
Suddenly, things are in terms of WHEN I reach goal, not IF. And then I find myself pleased by the challenge of maintenance and the added challenge of gaining several pounds of muscle.
Even those goals aren't too much to ask, I feel.
But now I find myself wondering...what's to stop me from reaching goal and signing up for a class in defense to build reflexes, balance, and coordination (things I am VERY lacking in)? What's to stop me from learning to dance and obtaining grace? Why just have a lean, fit body if I can't also kick some behind and do a tango?
Why not become the sort of female icon I've always admired, while still retaining my brainy, booky, creative side? Couldn't I just be the all-around woman?
Why not? Because that's not me. I'm still an overweight uncoordinated emotional mess. Who am I to have goals like that, let alone achieve them, right?
Is it possible, as a twenty year old overachiever to really achieve the status of Lara Croft starting in the state I'm in?
My dreams are getting the better of me.
Any chicks out there who know what I mean?
Any chicks out there who feel that they HAVE 'Croft'ed' (haha) themselves into the Ultimate Woman? :P
Thanks, girls and gents, for listening. <3
