funny this thread came up. I have a gf that I've known from high school through college. She stayed on the west coast and I moved to the east. We've known each other for maybe 30 years. We send xmas cards and gifts and bday gifts. When I'm in CA I see her, and she's visited a couple of times here. I wouldn't say we have heavy contact at all.
This was my first birthday when I didn't get a gift or even a card from her, not that I care about a gift, but it's nice to hear from her. I sent her a long letter -- no reply. I sent a little funny email, no reply. Is very weird, we didn't have a fight, and haven't had unpleasant experiences together to warrent either one of us feeling like we should freeze the other out (that I can think of). Seems strange that she'd feel she can't be bothered, esp since we've known each other so long. Hmmm.
On the one hand, I think I should just call her, but then I think if she really isn't interested in being friends anymore I'll feel really weird and embarrassed. I guess when your lives are so separate, it can be tough to maintain a link sometimes.
Oh my. This post is perfect timing, as I have a similar situation:
My best friend from middle school flew down and spent a week with me. She did NOT behave in a way that I remember, at all. She used to be easy going, but this week, she was uptight and, frankly, a bit b!tchy. She used to be into health (something I hold in very high regard), but now she is into drugs. Despite the fact we did not agree wholly on topics like politics (somewhat agree, but I am more moderate than she is) and religion (completely disagree), we just didn't go too far into those topics. We still had SO much more to talk about; we used to just laugh for hours about people we knew, but this time around, I would tell her some crazy stories and she would say, "Um, ok." I felt like everything I said and did got on her nerves, which made me sad, considering she always used to say, "You're my best friend! You are the only person who never annoys me!"
I am currently at the point where I don't want to cut her out of my life. I hope this is a fluke and I hope she will go back to being her normal self. I have so many VERY fond memories of her and am completely disheartened that she is becoming someone I wouldn't normally associate with.
At the same time, she probably thought differently of me, as I have just come out of a major life event (competitive bodybuilding). Sometimes, events like that (and the way we react to them) can have effects on friendship, but one can only hope they will pass.
Last edited by NightengaleShane; 08-17-2009 at 04:00 PM.
Honestly over the years I have let go of MANY friends. I had so many friends from high school and now I probably speak to 2 a few times a year. Even when I went to college the few people I spoke to I lost contact with for various reasons.
I had a few good friends from high school but try as I might to keep in touch I couldn't do it alone! One of the girls who were in my WEDDING all of a sudden stopped speaking with me. I called and called, emailed, and so on. Finally I get a freaking message from her on myspace saying we are two different people and can't talk anymore. I was like wtf have I done to you? I told her I respect her decision and it would have been nice if she at least called me so we could talk. I haven't spoken to her since.
My other good friend got married, had a child, got a divorce, then moved away. After calling her a few times I stopped trying and haven't heard from her since.
And my third good friend who still lives in the area became a teacher, will call me now and then and apologize for not being around, then plan something with me, THEN cancel, and leave me pissed off. The last time she called me I told her that I can't be jerked around like this and she promised she wasn't jerking me around yada yada- then I call her to arrange to meet up and AGAIN she never returned my call.
I just get tired of people who can't take 5 minutes a freaking month to be like hey how's it going?
I have a few close friends, my husband, my family, and apparently that's all I need. I tried making friends with co-workers but they all have their groups apparently and there is no room for me- whatever. I figure this extra time I have without too many friends is ME time to get my life on track and health together.
She's into drugs? What kind? If it's pot, then I wouldn't worry. Unless she's smoking it every day, then it's not really a problem. However, if it's more hardcore drugs like coke or heroin (or god forbid, meth) or prescription drugs, then she has a problem, and my best advice is to just talk to her about it and say how worried you are about her doing those drugs. Don't be judgmental, just say that you love her and don't want to lose her.
Oh, she DOES smoke pot every day, but that is the least of my concerns.
By drugs, I meant meth, painkillers (Oxy, Percoset, etc), and uhm... laundry detergent. I crap you not. The girl snorts LAUNDRY DETERGENT. I had to hide the powdered detergent from her while she was at my house. Then, she ended up drinking some of the liquid stuff, so I had to hide THAT, too. She got very weird when she was under the influence of this stuff. I DID decide to briefly talk about it with her and she insisted she only did drugs in the summer. "As soon as school starts back up, I won't have time. I'll have to be sober again, so I will. Don't worry!," she said. It just kills me to see that is how she likes to spend her free time.
I hope she will be fine when I come up to visit her on Christmas. She is a wonderful person when she's not high.
Oh, she DOES smoke pot every day, but that is the least of my concerns.
By drugs, I meant meth, painkillers (Oxy, Percoset, etc), and uhm... laundry detergent. I crap you not. The girl snorts LAUNDRY DETERGENT. I had to hide the powdered detergent from her while she was at my house. Then, she ended up drinking some of the liquid stuff, so I had to hide THAT, too. She got very weird when she was under the influence of this stuff. I DID decide to briefly talk about it with her and she insisted she only did drugs in the summer. "As soon as school starts back up, I won't have time. I'll have to be sober again, so I will. Don't worry!," she said. It just kills me to see that is how she likes to spend her free time.
I hope she will be fine when I come up to visit her on Christmas. She is a wonderful person when she's not high.
Holy. Crap. I am at a loss for words. Laundry detergent? That's like when Keith Richards snorted his dad's ashes.
She DRANK liquid detergent? This girl doesn't need drug rehab, she needs psychological help.
