In an effort to bring culture to this motley crew, let me introduce a little Redneck humor.
You are a redneck when you take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You are a redneck when you think The Nutcracker is something that happens on the high dive.
You are a red neck when your grandmother puts "Ammo" on her Christmas List..........
Here's another one:
You know you are a redneck if your dad walks you to school, because you are in the same grade.
and another:
One day Bob finally decided that 10 kids was enough so he went to his doctor in Alabama to see what is doctor could do from stopping him from having anymore kids. His doctor said well Bob take a cherry bomb put it in your right hand and count to 10 on your fingers. Bob wasnt so sure about this so he went to a doctor up north in Washington. He asked the doctor what do I do I have 10 kids and I dont want anymore. The doctor said well the proceedure will take about an hour see what we do is cut your... wait a minute where did you say you were from asked the doctor. Alabama said Bob. O said the doctor well then take a cherry bomb put it in your right hand and count to 10 on your fingers. So when Bob got back home he decided to try this. He took a cherry bomb put it in his right hand and started counting, 1 2 3 4 5 put the cherry bomb betweeb his legs to count on the other hand, 6 7 8 9 10 BOOM!!! no more kids!
Funny!
And You might be a redneck if your brother in law is also your uncle,
You might be a redneck if you think a quarterhorse is a ride in front of K Mart.
You might be a redneck if you come back from the dump with more than you took.
You might be a redneck if...
You think the last words to the Star Spangled Banner are "Play Ball..."
Your wife's best shoes have steel toes.
You use your fishing license as a form of I.D.
You own a home that is mobile and 5 cars that aren'tYou have the local taxidermist's number on speed dial.
And you might be a red neck if
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does
or
You refer to the fifth grade as your senior year
or
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
Ok a few more, seeing as I am helping with the countdown and all. LOL!
You might be redneck if:
Today's dinner was too slow crossing the highway yesterday.
You shop for groceries at a gas station.
You think you are an entrepreneur because of the "Dirt for Sale" sign in the front yard.
You have to curl the sides of your cowboy hat so your wife can fit in the truck.
No more carefree laughter
Silence ever after
Walking through an empty house, tears in my eyes
Here is where the story ends, this is goodbye
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time were through
(this time were through, this time were through
This time were through, were really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this time
I have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
Its the best I can do
Memries (memries), good days (good days), bad days (bad days)
Theyll be (theyll be), with me (with me) always (always)
In these old familiar rooms children would play
Now theres only emptiness, nothing to say
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
There is nothing we can do
Knowing me, knowing you (ah-haa)
We just have to face it, this time were through
(this time were through, this time were through
This time were through, were really through)
Breaking up is never easy, I know but I have to go
(I have to go this time
I have to go, this time I know)
Knowing me, knowing you
Its the best I can do
If your family tree doesn't have branches
You consider Dale Earnhardt's Birthday a paid holiday(I miss him)
Your sister's virginity is a result of her being able to outrun her seven brothers
And, I thought the last words to the Star Spangled Banner were, "Gentlemen, start you engines."
