Ruby
 

Did anyone catch this show on the Style Network? Ruby is a 475 lb woman on a journey to a healthier life. She's surrounded by doctors, specialists, trainers, and a circle of awesome friends.

You can go to mystyle.com and read about it.

I have the DVR set to record it!

I -just- put it on. I am really fascinated.

when does it come on?

I read about it today but didn't record it....should I?

Yes, I set it to record as soon as I saw a commercial for it. I like it and I like Ruby. She's so honest about her weight struggle and she is generally upbeat, and it's just inspirational.

Loved the show and loved her. I hope the show helps other people too and brings awareness to the trouble obese people have and how the world is so ill equipped to deal with the issue.

The show is on Sunday evenings at 8 pm ET on Style. (Check your local listings...lol)

Ruby made a comment that stuck with me. It was during a scene where they were showing her in her doctor's office. She couldnt find a chair that didnt have arms on the side, so she just wandered around in the waiting room. She finally asked the receptionist for a chair without arms, which she went to get right away.

I'm paraphrasing below...

"The world isn't made for people my size. It would be nice if we were accommodated more while we are working to get healthier and smaller."

I totally agree....

Jen, thanks for listing this. Otherwise, I would have never seen it! I am looking forward to following her through this journey, because perhaps I can learn some things from the show!

:woohoo:

I wanted to see this so bad and missed it! What time/day does it come on?

Annddd.. nevermind, I see the post for the times above :)

It is also repeated.

She's pretty! I love her outlook! I find it odd and rude that Jim's parents got a cat knowing he's allergic to them.

Gloria could get a bit of a clue in her cooking. I grew up in Pensacola. Both my parents were born in Georgia. I know southern cooking. However, after Daddy's first heart attack, Momma changed some of her cooking habits. In support of Ruby, Gloria could perhaps learn a bit and help her out.

Ok. Off my soapbox and raggin' on Gloria.

I'm looking forward to more episodes.

I'm in Calif. I'm looking at the schedule for my Dish network.

It's repeated today, Tues. at 5 PM, Wed. 7 AM and 8 PM, Thurs. 3 AM, Noon and 7 PM, Fri. 5 AM, 1 PM and 8 PM, Sat. 9 AM and 5 PM. For some reason, my schedule is showing episode 2 at 3 AM on Sunday and that is the one that is set to record. Hmmm.

I saw it last night and thought it was great! Really inspirational and I really want to see her succeed! She is soooo positive and definitely like a lot of you have mentioned, she says things that really stick with you and you may be able to relate to. I thought it was really awesome how her friend from LA is so supportive! Can't wait for the next episode!

I saw a commercial for it and it looked interesting. I may have to watch this now. Not sure my DVR can handle another show being taped LOL

I had the same reaction.

How can Jim's parents get a cat which would essentially mean he has to leaver their house. Weird unless he is over 18. He looks very young.


Wonderful that she has a great support network meaning her friends. I am sure she is charming and magnetic in person. You can just pick up on that by watching the show. And, she knows how to laugh at herself without putting herself down. That is so hard to do.

I have a feeling there's possibly more back story with Jim than we know. He seems like such a sweet kid!

I watched it last night and absolutely LOVED this show...I really enjoy Ruby's outlook and character she is very inspirational!

Got a chance to watch it last night - so many mysteries. The nephew's parents really got rid of him for a cat? How did Ruby lose the first 200 lbs (isn't she down from 700+)? Are her friends trying to kill her with brownies AND praline cheesecake AND cheesy macaroni? How on earth did she ever meet that chick from Sweet Valley High and where is the other twin?? How can she teach Sunday school and work out but yet claims disability instead of finding a job? (I suppose her job is the show now)

She seems sweet on the surface, but she strikes me as very manipulative.

As someone who is on disability, - the requirements of holding down a job that can support oneself is a lot different than the requirements needed to have a once weekly obligation of teaching Sunday school, and the non-time dependent chore of working out (unless she's working out eight hours every day, and never misses a day). Many of us on disability could hold down a job - if we were able to find a job that allowed us to work according to our needs (but what if that meant taking a half hour break every two hours - how many employers would accept that do you think?). Most employers require you to be able to work a specific shift, with limited breaks, and require regular and predictable attendance (even requiring two sick days every month could prevent a person from being hired by 99% of employers, especially if you can't predict which days you'll be unable to work).

I did finally see the show tonight - and I don't think it's any secret to say that she can be manipulative - she talks about that, and I think it's part of the reality of any addiction - finding a way to get the substance of the addiction, by whatever means necessary. Though a friend handing her a piece of praline cheesecake (after she already had a brownie and a full, fatty Southern meal) is pretty much the equivalent of buying and bringing crack to a crack addict. It was one thing for the friend to say "this is how we eat" (as in, I'm not going to change my habits to help her), but the food pushing - what was that about?. And yet that is exactly what many of us face, even with loved ones who tell us how we've "got to do something" about our weight. My mom was the stereotypical food pusher, constantly telling me I shouldn't be eating whatever I was eating, and then pushing food on me, and getting upset if I wouldn't take it. She does that a lot less, but I know when we visit for Christmas, there will be some of that too.

I do have to say there must be a lot of weird stuff in that family they're not talking about. Getting rid of a kid to have a cat? Doesn't make any sense at all. The kid is definitely under 18, because they're talking about home-schooling (if he were over 18, then he'd be getting his GED, not being home-schooled). My guess (anyone else get this vibe) that the boy is gay and that's why his parents really wanted him out of the house? I don't know, but hubby and I got the same vibe, and couldn't believe we both came up with the same theory.

I guess what really struck a cord with me, is so many of the similar experiences and goals I have with her. The longing for simple things most people don't consider luxuries like riding a horse and taking bubble baths, the emnity with armed chairs and seat belts...

The show made me realize how far my measly 60 lbs has brought me. I no longer have sleep apnea, I can reach the top shelf, I can latch most seat belts (can't always breathe very well with them latched, but I can latch them) and I don't usually encounter chairs I can't fit into anymore. There are still a few, and restaurant booths are often still not my friend, (though recently I was able to fit into a restaurant booth that I hadn't been able to in the past, and you would have thought I'd won the lottery).

So far, I like the show. I think it's realistic and honest without being sensational. Is Ruby perfect? Of course not, a person with all her **** together probably wouldn't ever reach 473 lbs (or whatever she started at).

Thanks for sharing your reflections on the show, Kaplods. I think you might be right about the nephew being gay then rejected. How sad. :( But I'm glad his Aunt Ruby is there to take him in! And I was confused about the GED comment even while I watched the show. I thought they actually said he HAD his GED, or helped him get his GED (as in past tense), but they did also say he was homeschooled. Eh, well the show isn't really about him anyway.

I wondered the same thing.

I thought that perhaps he was a troubled kid. Maybe had a drug problem?

If you go to the mystyle.com site and look at the reviews for the show the LA Times article is wonderful insight.

Yep, a drug problem would also make sense. I'm guessing that they're deliberately leaking information on Jim slowly - sometimes it's easy to forget that while the show may be unscripted, the producers are controlling what we learn and when. The show may be about Ruby, but as with any good soap opera there are subplots added for added suspense. Reality shows are unscripted, but they're carefully editied. I even wonder whether the huge meal and the food pushing was actually the producer's idea (the audience has to see Ruby eating, and witness the codependent nature of the relationship with her friends).

I constantly have to remind myself that reality tv isn't necessarily 100% "real." Still, I much prefer this type of "day in the life of," style of filming than the "let's put people in situations they'd never encounter in real life and see what happens," especially in terms of weight loss. Ruby's experiences, even if some of them are set up just for the camera, have a lot more relevance to my life than TBL.

For those who don't get the style network, or don't have cabel tv, I found Ruby on iTunes today and immedialty downloaded it. I plan to watch it while I do cardio tonight and I can't wait. ****, I may even end up watching it on my computer here at work today with my boss.

Well put. What's TBL?

Another thought on the weight she's lost. Remember the jerk? I would really love to put stronger language about him here but I know it'd be VERY censored. "I'll marry you if you lose weight". That guy. Did anyone besides me want to push him off that motorcycle?

The Biggest Loser ~ MARE

Thanks. I should have known that. I think I'm the only person on here who doesn't watch that show.

According to what I heard/saw on the show....

--Jim is 19 and has his GED. I think he's probably lived with Ruby awhile. Although it doesn't explain the conversation with her roomie about encouraging the kid to go to school (unless he is getting his full HS diploma).

--Ruby met Brittany when Ruby lived in LA for four years. Ruby was the receptionist at the gym (?!?!) where Brittany worked. Brittany is currently on some show on the WB I think.

--Georgia (the friend) cooking the big southern dinner was probably a set up for the cameras, although I am sure they ate like that a LOT.

MyStyle.com has more details about the folks in the show.

Actually, no. This woman has an addiction that controls every aspect of her life. Would you be upset if she were a crack addict and he said that? If she were an alcoholic? I can totally understand him wanting her to deal with this before marrying her. She didn't and so he left. Now, maybe he is a jerk but I wouldn't say he's a jerk just because of what he did in that particular situation. Most people don't want to hop into marriage with a person who has a full blown addiction controlling their life and in reality, killing them.

Now that makes me rethink what I said. You are absolutely right about an addiction. I wouldn't want to marry someone who is a crack addict, etc. Thanks for making me think.

However, that could very well be the reason she lost those 200 or so lbs. Maybe - maybe not.

I'm watching it now, with trepidation. I feel for Ruby and the concern of her friends and doctor seem genuine, but I can't help but also feel that it's a recipe for disaster. Admonishing her to take half a brownie instead of a whole brownie at the friends' get-together is…pointless. That extra 100 calories means absolutely nothing. It's like focusing a microscope on a single loose thread in a Medieval tapestry and ignoring that the whole gigantic thing is frayed.

I don't know about everyone, but I know in my case it's not an extra half-brownie here and there that got me over 300 pounds. It was a long-term, concerted effort of massive consumption. And people chiding me over half a brownie once in a while only made eventually succeeding at weight loss seem more futile. "They're busting me over this little brownie, when what they don't know is I'm going to go home and eat a bag of Doritos. If they're right that a bit of brownie could make me this big, how much worse I must be for really pigging out."

I hope Ruby winds up with fewer people telling her to exercise control and walk on a treadmill and more people teaching her how to manage the mental angle.

I love this show.

Should we start a weekly discussion thread for Ruby? Or just keep this one going?

I'm loving the show as well. I haven't been able to actually catch a full episode, but I'm planning on rewatching them when they rerun. I think she's a beautiful person with a very real and very dangerous addiction. I'm hoping for her success and can't wait to see everything unfold.

I think for Ruby, the "the mental angle," is being addressed by her therapist. I don't think her friends and family can play that role, and encouragement to exercise and deal with food issues is the best that a non-therapist can offer. For me, "half a brownie," wouldn't be a realistic suggestion, because I have such a difficult time with refined carbs, that it's better to avoid them altogether (not that I've been entirely successful with that) . But I don't see help from others, even when it's occasionally misplaced, as a deterrent to weight loss. Rather, as Ruby said, she needs the help of others, for some folks it does "take a village," to lose the weight. Some of the advice she is going to get is going to be good, some if it terrible and a good deal of it absolutely useless.

I don't think that all fat folks, even extremely fat folks have serious mental issues. Obviously, I think from watching Ruby's interaction with the therapist that she may have serious abuse issues. Not remembering anything before age 13, isn't a particularly good sign. Those need to be dealt with, but getting Ruby to move, in itself, will contribute to lessening depression and the learned helplessness, that being in such a large body can contribute to. You don't have to fix all of the mental issues before working on the weight - which I think Ruby has proven, having lost 225 lbs or more before the first episode. Seeing a therapist, I think is important for Ruby, but I don't think that everyone in her life has to act as a therapist. Sure, she's going to get a lot of bad and useless advice from friends and even the "professionals," and the good advice is going to probably be rarer- but that's just reality.

Will she be able to control her weight, by exercising control, and learning to eat like a "normal" person? I don't know, but I wouldn't discount the possibility. The "how" we gain weight, and the how we lose weight, isn't very well understood, and I don't think it's the same for us all, even for some of us that get very large.

In my life, I've had people tell me that I had to addess my "mental issues," and that I must have serious mental issues to have gotten as large as I have. I even started to believe it, and wonder what I was hiding from myself. Then I (finally) discovered two physiological contributors to my weight loss. By changing my bc to provide constant levels of progestins, and reducing carbs, the weight loss has been so much easier than ever before. I am having trouble sticking to my low carb diet, because I do have an addictive response to carbs, especially refined carbs, and they are difficult (psychologically and physically) to avoid. I'm getting better at it, though. And my weight loss is responding, in a way I'd never imagined it to. I'm losing weight without feeling like I'm tenuously holding on tooth and nail in misery to my food plan. The more success I have, the more motivation I have, and the better I do.

I think even when dealing with drug addictions, there are "addicts" who turned to drugs because of mental issues, and there are folks for whom the drugs caused the mental issues, and I think for many it's so intertwined, it's difficult to say which came first, the mental issues or the addiction, but sometimes "breaking the cycle," in itself can start the positive changes needed to return to functionality.

I think that the threshold for food addictions (which are primarily carbohydrate and fat addictions), is generally much lower than for drug addiction. In a sense, every human on the planet is food addicted. The physiological drive to eat, kept our ancestors alive. Living in a world where high calorie food is abundant is not a natural condition, because in the "natural" world, population explosion tends to occur before widespread obesity. In a sense, it's actually more of a surprise to me how many people are not obese.

If cocaine and opiates were as abundant and as intertwined in our culture as food, how many drug addicts would we have, and how many would be able to remain abstinant? If these drugs were cheap, legal, and use was not only socially accepted, but expected - and friends, relatives, and even strangers were pushers from the time we were small children - how prevalent would drug addiction be?

I think that the idea that fat people, even outrageously fat people must have serious underlying mental and emotional issues is more myth than fact. However, seeing the super morbidly obese as more normal than not is a threatening idea - because it means it could happen to almost anyone under the right conditions.

kaplods, I enjoy your posts. You have some really interesting things to say and more times than not, your comments really make me think and consider things differently.

What did you think of episode 2? It was interesting. I think Denny did a good job of controlling his temper. I know he wanted to bash orange hat in the head with a pipe.