A thread on weight loss myths got me thinking of all the things I had to "unlearn" to find what works for me, not only in weight loss, but in self-confidence and self-worth, as well. I've often said that there is a "diet culture" with customs and rules that are unwritten, and yet followed by many of us, for far too long, out of habit and expectations.
Things like
A fat girl never bares legs, uppper arms, or midriff no matter what (110 degrees outside - no shorts or tank top for you!) Want to go swimming - too bad! (This I unlearned early because I loved swimming too much to give it up, but I was aware that I was breaking the fat girl code).
There are good foods and bad foods, and if you go "off plan" by so much as a biteful of "bad" food, you've blown it for the day, so eat like a starving madwoman and start fresh tomorrow (or if it's later in the week than Thursday, eat like mad all weekend, start back fresh on Monday)
I'm with you on the whole "fat girls shouldn't show skin" thing. Honestly, the first time I ever wore a tank top was Summer of '07. I thought it was "illegal" before that... Now, I don't care, at all.
I 'unlearned' that in order to lose weight, you need to make a huge lifestyle change. Whenever people launched into "not a diet, its a lifestyle" I felt really intimidated and overwhelmed...i mean, my whole way of living?
But I've hardly changed my lifestyle at all. It does not require a huge change to walk to work instead of taking the bus, it just means waking up 10 minutes earlier. I still eat popcorn at the movies, I just sneak in my own 100 calorie packs. I still munch on things while watching tv at night, but I eat fruit or toast instead of tortilla chips. Making room for a 30 minute workout isn't lifestyle-shattering, especially when you exercise in front of the tv and can still watch your favorite shows!
I LEARNED it's more effective, sustainable, and FUN to figure out how to make weight loss work with my lifestyle than to change my entire way of being for weight loss.
It does seem that in the past, I not only expected to drastically change my life, overhauling my whole existance overnight, I expected be perfect from day 1. Any step off my set path was "proof" that I was a failure, and since I had so many goals set, there was almost no chance of success as I was defining it (perfection).
That certain foods such as peanut butter, avocadoes, cheese, and nuts are bad for you!
That you have to work out an hour a day to see results. I definitely had to undo that "all or nothing" exercise attitude.
Lastly, that society thinks big girls can't be cute. I'm glad there are a host of "plus size" (well, not to me) -- or should I say "normal size" models emerging.
Last edited by grneyedmustang; 10-01-2008 at 07:57 PM.
For me: I dont have to take drastic measures to lose weight. There isnt anything wrong with me. I am in control. I dont have to do pills or certain plans that cost me hundreds of dollars a month...
Also, I dont have to lose 20 pounds in a month; I can lose 20 pounds in 2-3 months and feel I am making progress. It is not speed of weight loss but gain of health...
I had to unlearn the rule that only baggy, ill fitting clothes are flattering for big girls. They are not! Clothes that fit properly and show you have shape (even a large shape) are better than a tent.
I unlearned the rule that exercise = misery. Exercise can be fun! I also unlearned the rule that I am NOT athletic---this fomer couch potato has unleashed my inner athlete. I have stamina, speed, and deltoids!
I had to unlearn that eating fattening foods is "fun" and eating healthy foods is "not fun." This is a society thing instilled by chain restaurant ads. In other words, the idea that the only way to be celebrating or having a good time is by tossing down large quantities of oily carbs with greasy meats. That having something like a grilled chicken salad isn't enjoyable and you're a stick in the mud.
I had to unlearn that food=social life. There are other things to do at a party other than eat cake. There are other activities to do with friends other than going out to a resturaunt and eating the most fattening dish on the menu.
I had to unlearn a few things. Many things that were mentioned above.
I had to unlearn that a "diet" was nothing but salads, and never any sweet foods. Also that changes could be temporary, because it was a "diet" so I could stop when I was "done".
I had to unlearn that exercise was awful. It's actually quite fun if I make it fun for me! Also, that, because I was fat, I couldn't exercise in public.
Not to offend anyone!!Also, I dont have to lose 20 pounds in a month; I can lose 20 pounds in 2-3 months and feel I am making progress...
I'm working diligently to learn this.
I remember holding the mindset that living without certain things (regular soda, fast food, etc...) equated to an unhappy existence. I mean, life must suck without bacon cheeseburgers, right? Well I learned that that's simply untrue and that I in fact like many nutritionally sound foods more than said junk. I still get reactions from people like, "you don't eat fast food ever? You poor thing!" as though I'm missing out on life...
I remember holding the mindset that living without certain things (regular soda, fast food, etc...) equated to an unhappy existence. I mean, life must suck without bacon cheeseburgers, right? Well I learned that that's simply untrue and that I in fact like many nutritionally sound foods more than said junk. I still get reactions from people like, "you don't eat fast food ever? You poor thing!" as though I'm missing out on life...
Yep, learning that the taste for junk and fast food is largely an acquired taste. It's just that it's been 20, 30, 40 years and more since acquiring it for most people.
Funny in that I was much more willing to wear shorts and tank tops at 360 lbs than I am now. I don't wear shorts anymore, I'll wear capris but that is about it. I will wear tanks sometimes. (The last pair of shorts I had were probably size 24? I had up to size 28)
Mine is...
You don't have to be a skinny minny to have an active lifestyle. I actually learned this very early into my weight loss and even learning more now as I started a running program with future aspirations of doing a triathlon.
and related to that..
Your life does not begin after you lose weight, it begins when you decide it will begin. Which basically means don't let your weight hold you back from doing things you want to do.
-I had to unlearn that being fat automatically meant you are unfit.. I'm actually in better shape than some of my smaller friends.
-That junk food tastes better than healthier food.. There's so many great recipes out there, I feel 10X better "treating" myself to a healthier selection than a candy bar.. like right now I just made myself a fruit smoothie out of mixed berries
-That gyms are for skinny/athletic people.. definitely not true. I've seen all shapes at my school gym and everyone is focused on their workout, not your size.
-Black is the most flattering color.. definitely not, enough said.
-It's easier to be more social when you're thinner/attractive.. NO! My personality has NOT changed and I shouldn't hold myself back from talking.
-Guys only like skinny girls.. well I unlearned this one a while ago when I
started going out with my boyfriend about 3 1/2 years ago when I was.. 190. Definitely not true, though at the same time it took me a while to grasp that he could find me attractive.
Last edited by Starrynight; 10-02-2008 at 01:32 PM.
Weight loss and fat rules and traditions
