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-   -   Virginity (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/general-chatter/151411-virginity.html)

diamondinthedesert 01-06-2009 02:57 AM

Haven't yet. I decided as a teenager I would wait until marriage. At this point I think I just want to wait until I am madly in love and in a committed relationship. Until then, I don't want to deal with the emotional baggage that comes along with it.

painted lady 01-06-2009 09:49 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JellyBelly1908 (Post 2530887)
You've got some balls, girl.

haha. it was a pretty awesome year. i actually slept with the majority of the people i've ever slept with that year... then i met my current boyfriend, moved out of New York City, and started getting my life together. not that having lots of meaningless sex and having a disorganized life necessarily go hand in hand. i think there are plenty of successful people who have random sex because it's fun. however, in my case, random sex went hand in hand with lots of drinking.

my year of being promiscuous showed me that i know how to flirt (and that i'm good at it) and that i can be sexy. it also provided me with millions of ridiculous stories.

Thighs Be Gone 01-06-2009 09:53 AM

I was 17. I don't know how I feel about it. It was with a guy I had been dating for a while. It would have been nice if I had been with someone I was head over heels for and who actually KNEW what he was doing. LOL.

willow650 01-06-2009 10:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by EZMONEY (Post 2530851)
MY HERO! ;)

I was 17....wish I knew THEN what I do now.....I'm not saying it wasn't fun...but it came at a price that I didn't realize until I was older and wiser.

I will say tomorrow is my 14th wedding anniversary. Angie and I met 1 year prior to the day of our wedding day.

It was a tough year to "behave".....but we did :)

Same here EZ, My husband and I waited till we were married, despite our previous mistakes with others.

We got together in Jan98, engaged in august98, had our wedding set for the next august99, couldn't wait that long so we decided on a Wednesday to get married on Saturday in Feb99 still had the wedding in August99 though. Here is another funny thing, My husband and I married in Feb 99 but didn't live together till April of 2000. We lived in separate states and he drove 1000miles round trip every weekend to see me unless he was on the ship. He did all that driving when we were dating, 1000 miles trip 2 to 3 weekends a month, and wasn't "getting any". That's true love right there.

willow650 01-06-2009 10:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by diamondinthedesert (Post 2531002)
Haven't yet. I decided as a teenager I would wait until marriage. At this point I think I just want to wait until I am madly in love and in a committed relationship. Until then, I don't want to deal with the emotional baggage that comes along with it.

That is awesome, and i greatly commend you for it.

Vahla 01-06-2009 10:10 AM

I was 17 and at Glastonbury festival. I slept with a guy I had know for a few months and then we didn't see each other for a while and so to a previous quote
Quote:

Originally Posted by painted lady (Post 2530714)

thus began a year of debauchery.

We then met up after a year and now we're married and have been together for over eight years. We're much better at it now :devil:

diary 01-06-2009 10:26 AM

Reading the stories makes me sad in some cases and happy for others.

For me - I cannot kiss and tell on here.

Pixiesue 01-06-2009 10:43 AM

I was seventeen and not really sure that I wanted too but it happened....oh well. I married him later and divorced him after seventeen years of ****

mayness 01-06-2009 10:47 AM

I was 14, had been dating the guy for 2.5 months, he was 16. He had wanted to right away, but I didn't... eventually he wrote me a big letter about how he wanted to wait as long as I wanted because he respected me... he thought I gave in because I believed it, but really I was impressed by his sneakiness and the effort, lol. Either way, it worked. Eventually wound up pregnant at age 15, and we broke up shortly after... it was a very nice and civil breakup but we only talked once since then (7 years ago).

We had fun, and I really liked him a lot at the time, so I don't know how much I regret it... but if I had to do it over again, I'd wait for my (now) husband. He was my second, at age 18. At least it gives me something to compare to -- the first guy wasn't very good. :p

NightengaleShane 01-06-2009 10:50 AM

I was 17. I wanted to wait for someone special, and I did just that. I was head-over-heels in love with this guy (or so I felt at 17) and had silly teenage girl thoughts of "I am going to marry him one day!" Of course, we only lasted 7 months, but the sex was mighty fine. I was a virgin, but he had already slept with 5 or 6 girls before me and knew exactly what he was doing. Apparently, I did, too, as he was in disbelief that I even WAS a virgin and kept asking, "Are you SURE you haven't done this before? You really know what you're doing..."

No regrets. I always find regret to be useless, as you can't change your past. Besides, even if we didn't actually last, I still waited for someone special. I probably wouldn't lose it to him again, though.

Now, the first time I *ahem* messed around sexually, I was 16 and it was with someone who meant nothing to me. I was curious and he was horny. ;)

NightengaleShane 01-06-2009 10:54 AM

Oh, mayness, that guy was smooooth like tanning oil! It reminds me of the guy I lost my virginity to, too -- this guy was the type who always said stuff like, "Well, I will never push you further than you want to go. You can decide what we do." It worked so well; I "put out" after... hmm... 2? 3? months. I really was very sexually attracted to him and was impressed by the fact that he wanted to do it on my terms.

willow650 01-06-2009 11:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NightengaleShane (Post 2531542)
I was 17. I wanted to wait for someone special, and I did just that. I was head-over-heels in love with this guy (or so I felt at 17) and had silly teenage girl thoughts of "I am going to marry him one day!" ;)

UGH, I was one of those stupid teenage girls that thought I was going to marry every guy I dated.
I am trying so hard to teach better sense to my daughters. My oldest is 12 and I have already had to have the sex talk with her a few years ago, thanks to older girls on a school bus. I think I do a better job than my mom, I was told "its bad, don't do it". From my moms point of view, it was. She was molested by 3 different men before te age of 12 and raped at 15, then married my dad at 16, and he isnt always the nicest guy and apparently pretty demanding in that area. So sad really. I will teach my children that is is wonderful when kept in the bounds of marriage, that sex was created by God for pleasure and making babies and never meant to be a source of pain, confusion, regret, or to be abused. I wish I had been taught that.

Sidheag 01-06-2009 03:16 PM

Thank you all for sharing your stories! *HUGS* To everyone :)

I was 18 and about 3 months before my bf and I got together I was sexually assaulted by a "friend" of mine. Thankfully he didn't force me to have sex, largely I think because he was a virgin himself at the time and wasn't quite sure of what to do, but he forced me to do everything else.

I got back to school and started spending time with the guy that soon became my bf. We had known each other for about a year before that. When he asked me out I was really upfront about what had happened with the other guy. I said that I was a virgin, that I was really glad and felt really fortunate to still be a virgin, and wasn't ready to lose that, even with someone I was serious about. He was so caring and protective and told me that he was a virgin too and wasn't in any big rush. We started dating and I fell for him very hard and very fast. On our two month anniversary I told him that I was ready. I remember that he was shaking and he kept asking "are you ok? are you ok?" We also had a long talk about whether or not I was really ok and only after I convinced him that I was did anything happen. He went to great lengths (candles, roses, music) to make it special for me and to make it as far from that other negative experience as possible.

He still is the gentlest spirit that I know and that is part of the reason that it is now 3 years later and we are living together and planning to get married. Giving myself to him was so much more than just the sex, especially after what had happened to me. It was as much a gesture of my love for him and my absolute trust him as anything else. It was a beautiful experience and even if, heaven forbid, that our relationship ends, I know I could never regret that night.

For me it was all about waiting until I was in love and felt safe with the person I was giving myself to. I've never slept with anyone else and for me the sex is incredibly tied up in emotions. I guess you can say that I don't advocate waiting for the sake of waiting...but rather waiting until you truly feel ready.

Skinny Teen 01-06-2009 04:45 PM

I'm still a virgin. It's mostly because of my lack of self-esteem and I wont let anyone get close to me in not just an intimate way, but a romantic and such way, too. Plus I'm more worried about getting through school than getting busy
Plus I'm semi-religious, and abstinence is something really important to me

LittleMoonRabbit 01-06-2009 08:10 PM

18 to my now husband. We had been dating since I was 14. He's the only guy I have ever kissed or ever dated. Don't regret it in the least.


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