I was just reading the local news when I came across this article that really angers me! Why do people beat their kids? Don't get me wrong, (I know some of you will hate me for this) but my son in his 13 first years, did receive I believe 6 spankings,... Not harsh, but on the bottom, obviously different situations called for different punishments... left his bike out he lost bike for a week! throw rice on table, remove rice and make him eat everything else! But beating a child like this for spilling rice???????

Some people should never be allowed to parent a child!!!!!!!!

http://democratandchronicle.com/arti...809120357/1003

Seriously, I am constantly asking myself "Why do some people breed?" Haha. Don't get me wrong, I am ALL FOR slapping your child. I wouldn't hesitate to spank my spawn if they were bad, but this crazy lady just went FAR too overboard. Obviously she doesn't deserve a child. Mentally not all there I'm assuming (or atleast hope).
Reminds me of my Dad a bit, when me or my sister would drop a spoon, or spill milk at the dinner table, he would get INSANELY angry. Scared the crap out of me. He was a pretty violent man. I always said I wouldn't be like that, however I do not have an issue with spankings.

Yikes.

I don't believe in spanking or slapping kids, unless it's some MAJOR MAJOR thing going on and the kid is being seriously disrespectful or deliberately, subbornly disobedient, but I can understand how a parent could become frustrated and "snap." I DON'T understand how a parent -- or anyone -- could snap to a degree like this, but I do understand the frustration that would lead to an overreaction to something relatively minor. Actually, I think the only time smacking/slapping a kid is understandable is when you're at a point where you're beyond reasoning, when you're frustrated to your max.

But again, even though I can understand how someone could overreact, this kind of violence is totally unacceptable. They should lock her up and throw away the key (for 5 - 25 years).

I'm constantly debating the spanking issue myself. As someone preparing for work as an early childhood/elementary school professional, I've studied under professors who equate spanking with child abuse PERIOD. And of course, we professionals (in most states of the US at least) are by law restricted from corporal punishment.

As for the rice situation, I don't have details but I know what I'd do if a child spilled something in my presence. Assuming that they have the motor skills/language skills to understand, I'd enlist the child in cleaning up the mess, hence reinforcing that mistakes are must mistakes. We repair them and then move on, (or if it was not a mistake, that the act of making a mess results in the consequence of cleaning it up).

I think that parenting is something everyone expects to come naturally. It doesn't. Parenting is a skill that can be learned. Most of us learn our parenting skills from our parents, and mimic what they did without stopping to think whether it was the right way to raise a child.

I'd like to see more new parents attend parenting classes and getting support from the schools and community.

Edit: Okay, I just read the article. There's clearly a lot more going on here than just uninformed parenting. The woman snapped HARD, which means either that the pressure to do so was coming from a lot more than a bit of rice, or that she is experiencing some mental or emotional dysfunction which needs examination and treatment. Either way, the woman needs help as much as the child does.

I'm afraid I must disagree. When you're frustrated to the limit is the *worst* time to attempt corporal punishment. That's the time to find some way to separate yourself from the child/situation and get yourself under control. Then you can go back to the problem and, if you still feel it's necessary, use spanking as a way of discouraging the child from repeat behavior.

I think the pros and cons of spanking are debatable, but I think when you're most frustrated or upset is the worst time and the least understandable. Then it's no longer a careful decision you've made, but just a personal thing against a child.

I think if someone is willing to do what was in that news article, the stimulus is almost irrelevant. They will find a reason sooner or later. It is so sad, and the ones who do it sometimes never get that anything is wrong with them.

Spanking, as I said earlier, for the right reasons! My son who's about to turn 19 had half dozen spanks growing up.. Once he raised his fist to me! UM, nope, never happened again. When I spanked it was always on the bottom and for reasons I felt right. As for punishment, it fit the crime... as I mentioned in my earlier post. I don't believe in "smacking" or abuse.

As the Bible tells us: "He who spareth the rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him correcteth him betimes" (Proverbs 13:24) and "Withhold not correction from a child: for if thou strike him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and deliver his soul from ****." (Proverbs 23:13-14)

I understand AND AGREE that folks in public professions should NOT hit a child, it is up to the parent. AND... MOST parents should not hit because they don't or can't stop once they start, because they do so out of anger rather than out of love and desire to train a child! THERE IS A DIFFERENCE!!!!!

Twilit, your right that most of us do mimic our parents, but I did my best (and am proud to say I) to NOT be like mom and her husband! Not out of spite, but out of knowledge that the way I was raised is not how people should be! Your right, children do not come with a hand book... how you deal with one child may not work on another, even twins have different needs and desires!

A little spanking here and there never harmed me, it actually kept me out of trouble, knowing my Dad would slap me. (He's 6'4", muscly, and extremly strong with huge hands) there would be a hand print on my skin for days.... very very painful. So knowing that I would get slapped stopped me from doing a lot of stupid things. I disagree with teachers/and or professionals slapping children, the ONLY person who can lay a hand on my child is me or my husband.

Loriann: I'm sorry of I offended you or made you feel defensive. It was not my intention to judge you for spanking your child. I was merely expressing my own conflicted feelings about the subject in light of what my experience was growing up in contrast to what I'm being told by my professors.

My mother also spanked me (rarely) but she had to attend a parenting class to learn to control her emotions so that she wouldn't spank me in anger.

I clearly recall one time that she sent me to my room because she was too angry to deal with me. Later she came in and calmly explained that she was going to give me a spanking, what I had done to earn it, why she didn't spank me right away and that she loved me even though I was getting one. I never resented that spanking.

As for the Biblical reasons for spanking your child, that is between you and God. I personally wouldn't religious text to attempt to justify a choice that I made to others for various reasons. (You don't actually use a literal "rod," do you? But the vary same scriptures could be used by someone else to justify beating their child with a stick.)

The fact is, you don't require the approval of others to act on what your conscience tells you is right. Freedom of conscience is a sacred right.

Twilit, Your right, I did get defensive. I grew up in a house where at one point my mother's husband lined four of my brothers against the wall, stapled their hair and let them drop! Of course there was always the paddle stand bye.. it was a whopping two inch thick, about 16 inches long with wholes throughout, boy did that sucker HURT! Or the time when mom hit my sister upside the head with a cast iron skillet. I could go on but I'll spare you. See, I was determined to not raise my son in this manner. So I can understand your conflictions. Your mother had the right Idea, something I've often done myself!!!!!!!

You asked if I used a rod.... depends on what you call a "rod." I used a belt or spoon most times ON the butt, and usually only one spank with it was all that was needed. Once I used a stick from a tree, yes, I sent my son to pick out the stick! I don't believe in using the hand,... the item needs to be detached! gives someone a chance to cool down, too easy to go off slapping and punching the child.

Your right, a rod, most people would go off into abuse. I assure you a swat or two on the butt was not a beating! It was a "we don't do that in this house" reminder.

When I caught my son stealing from a friends store, he stole rocks to add to his collection, he didn't get a spanking. NO, I made him box all his rocks up and brought them over to my friends house. Not that they wanted his collection of fossils, diamonds, crystals, etc. but because the punishment had to hurt and discourage him from doing it again! My mother made me return a knife I had stolen, but it didn't stop me from doing it again. My son tells me to this day he's not stolen since then! Again, the punishment has to fit the crime!

To get back to the some people should breed comment-we had a lady in our news recently who wanted to be cool to her kids so she went out and bought a bottle of vodka for her 13 year old's birthday party. 2 of the kids were admitted to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. This is the same woman who got in trouble a few years ago for putting her kids and a neighbor kid in the trunk of her car on a hot day on the interstate because the kids thought it would be fun.

I grew up with the threat of spankings more then actual spankings. Mom had a small cutting board that was a good shape for hanging onto as a paddle. It hung in the kitchen and all she would say is "do I need need to get the paddle?" She must have spanked us a few times but I don't remember exactly but I do remember the threats and it always made us straingten up.

When I was working as a nanny while in school, I had a little one irritate me so much that I knew if I touched him it would be bad so I ushered him to his room and then I locked myself in the bathroom until I could calm down. I had never been that angry in my life before and it scared me. After we both calmed down we were able to talk about it, but I still remember how angry I felt and how close I was to going off the deep end. I really admire parents who can keep their cool with their children.

Yup, that pin points EXACTLY the type of people who should NOT breed.

Good grief. Maliciousness almost seems easier to understand than that much stupidity.

Kids have friends to be "cool" with them, they NEED parents to be firm and set rules and standards! I know too many parents wanting to be "friends" with their kids and the kids turn out, well, incarcerated, druggers, or worse, dead!

I disagree with what you wrote below and before I explain, I have to temper it by saying that when i say "snap" I mean, smack your child once, not beat them, mercilessly or otherwise. I also agree that when you're insanely angry it's not THE RIGHT TIME to hit a kid (imo, it's never a good time to do that!) but just that, for me, it's more understandable if it does happen.

Let me explain: To me, if you are in a situation with a kid and you're angry, but you're not beyond your breaking point and you slap or spank them, you're making a decision to use corporal punishment when you could realistically think of a better way to handle the situation. If you're extremely irritated, if you're frustrated beyond reasoning, if the kid is totally out of control and you react by slapping the child, I can understand that. But ideally, I agree with what you said, when you feel yourself going over your threashold, it's time to totally diffuse the situation and separate yourself from the kid. I totally agree; my point was that I can understand someone resorting to a slap in an extremely frustrating situation.

I have a friend who has a little girl who is generally very well-behaved and sweet and my friend never hits her. Once we were out together getting something to eat and her daughter refused to eat. My friend argued with her, her daughter argued back, back and forth and at last her daughter picked up some of the food and threw it, directly in my friend's face. My friend lost it and smacked her. I don't think she was RIGHT to react that way, but I understand the reaction, if that makes sense. I hope I'm explaining myself well -- I'm not advocating hitting your kid only when you're very mad, just that if it DOES happen in those circumstances, I can understand it.

But then, I don't have children, so what do I know? I just know that I've always been off-put to spanking (I was never spanked as a kid). Maybe my feelings about that will change after I have my own children, though.

Violence against children is heartbreaking.....I can't bring myself to even read the linked story....my imagination is enough. Sometimes I weep for the world we live in.

Kids should be loved and safe.