Wedding Crashers

Did your dad love you?
Only when I dressed up like a beer bottle, how about you?
Well, he used to beat me in Morse code, so it's possible, but he never said the words.

Kiss Kiss Bang Bang

"I need this job like a leper needs a three-way mirror"

Elvira - Mistress of the Dark

"After all, I'm a man and you're a woman... at least last time I checked. Huh huh."

Evil Dead 2

I never knew it could be like this! Nobody ever kissed me the way you do.

From Here to Eternity

Oh. Wow. Gee Whiz. Looky here. You know we're always fascinated when we find leg irons with no legs in them

The Fugitive

We don't really move, we'd like to but... my mom is sort of attached to the house. Attached isn't really the right word, she's pretty much wedged in.

What's Eating Gilbert Grape (What a great movie!)

Put $50,000 in the right hands and you can test battery acid as skin lotion.

The Constant Gardener

It is most gratifying that your enthusiasm for our planet continues unabated. As a token of our appreciation, we hope you will enjoy the two thermonuclear missiles we've just sent to converge with your craft. To ensure ongoing quality of service, your death may be monitored for training purposes. Thank you.

Because I Said So

They're creepy. Creepy Italian trees. Of course, the baby's going to like them cause it's going to be a creepy Italian baby who goes around saying things like 'Ciao mama' and doing that weird backward hand wave thing. Life is strange.

:BEEEP: No, "your death may be monitored for training purposes" is from Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy

"Creepy Italian trees" is from Under the Tuscan Sun

- It tastes like the back of a f***ing L.A. school bus. Now they probably didn't de-stem, hoping for some semblance of concentration, crushed it up with leaves and mice, and then wound up with this rancid tar and turpentine bullsh!t. F***in' Raid.
- Tastes pretty good to me

I'm fairly certain that the above quote if from The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy.

Sideways

You know, you should write a song about this. You could call it "I got punched in the nose for sticking my face in other people's business".

The Wedding Singer

"Never met a dead man that bought me a drink."
"And I never met a live one that you bought one for, neither."

Master and Commander

- Furthermore, you are to stick to playing normal modes of music, not weird stuff. Those who we'd find acceptable here would include Lawrence Welk, Jim Nabors, Mantovani...
- ...Percy Faith...
- Percy Faith... good!... Andy Williams, Perry Como, and certain ballads by Mr. Frank Sinatra.
- Would Bob Dylan be outta line?

Good Morning, Vietnam

"There are two kinds of people in this world: Those that enter a room and turn the television set on, and those that enter a room and turn the television set off. "