[lifechange]

I grew up in a family of women. Women who liked having clean houses, who liked everything in order. Maybe alittle obessive compulsive.
Now I have two teenage boys plus my husband and dog. They don't think twice about leaving empty boxes in the cupboard, recycling on the counter.
Grass and dirt everywhere!! They will come downstairs with their hair wet, look at themselves in the livingroom mirror, shake their head and leave water marks all over the mirror. The sinks are dirty. Socks are left on stairs. Their friends even leave shirts and bathing suits- on my kitchen table, hall... I find plates under the living room couch- even though my rule is food in the kitchen. In the spring I did a thorough cleaning of the spare room- where their friends sleep and when I moved the bed I found juice bottles, half full bottles of crystal light- GRRH!!
I have tried so hard to make them take notice and be responsible but to no significant improvement. I refuse to become a total nag and be miserable myself, so I have given up. What a change, I used to take such pride in my house when my children were young. On the brightside, I have given up and do my best not to let it bother me, on the negative side if they ever get married their wives are going to hate me for not getting them in line.

[alinnell]

Who is picking up after them? You? They'll never learn. I can be a total b**** when it comes to messes and will stand and point at the offending mess until someone else cleans it up. It's not my job to clean up after them. That said, my DD was the worst offender, but now that she's old enough (going off to college next week) she actually SEES the mess and picks it up before I get home. DS? Not so much, but I won't do it for him. But he is quick to clean up once it is pointed out to him. I don't put up with arguments!! (Can you say drill sargent!! LOL)

[lifechange]

You must be sad your DD is leaving home. When all is said and done I dread that day.
I must say that when I point it out my kids will pick things up- my ongoing frustration is why does it get to that point. If you take the last brownie out of the box can you not walk two steps and put it in recycling? Apparently not, so I refuse to get upset now- but as you said I do still call them (the majority of the time) to get rid of it. It is hard- nothing I love more than coming home from a long day of work to find a kitchen with a big empty jug of juice on the counter, dirty knives on the counter (they can't even make it to the sink) knapsacks dropped anyway- day after day, after day...... Once my car stunk so badly I could barely stomach getting into it when it was hot. I found dirty, wet sports socks pushed under the back seat. Who knows what they were growing to stink so badly. I would never yank my socks off in the car, throw them on the floor and eventually push them under the seat- so foreign to me. Will I miss this eventually????

[alinnell]

Yes, you will miss it one day. My DD did start limiting her mess to her room saying that it was her only "rebellion" (unmade bed, towels and clothes strewn all over, recyclables in every nook and cranny). My son's way of recycling is to leave the item in our designated spot in the kitchen and then walk out to the garage empty handed and walk right past the recycling bin. What??? But I am lucky to have good kids--they aren't trouble makers and are quite mature for their ages.

My biggest mess these days is from my dogs--one is shedding to beat the band and I sweep or vacuum almost daily! I usually wipe down all the counters in the kitchen before I start cooking because you just don't know what kind of crumbs are lurking (no one cleans up kitchen messes). And the person who eats the last of the cereal or the last of the milk and puts the empty back in the cupboard/fridge has yet to be found!

[shelby897]

I finally got my point across -- I have a 9 year old and 5 year old son as well as a lovely husband. If I find something of yours on the floor/out of place after it should have been picked up -- it's "mine" (in a box in my closet) and you don't get it back until I feel like it I have a pretty empty box right now -- it has on occasion held my husband's wallet and both my boys Nintendo DS's and a few toys. They got the point.

No one ever wanted to help set the table for dinner -- it's annoying to be making dinner, setting the table, etc. and have them lounging. So, they became responsible for setting the table -- the best was the night I didn't remind them to do it -- I called dinner is ready -- sat down at my spot (plate, cup, etc.) and they walked out to their empty spots because they didn't set the table -- they are pretty good now.

I think you just have to be creative, persistent, etc. Whatever you do -- do not continue to do it for them!!

[JulieJ08]

I understand! I have two nephews living with me and it is driving me crazy.

[alinnell]

Originally Posted by shelby897

I finally got my point across -- I have a 9 year old and 5 year old son as well as a lovely husband. If I find something of yours on the floor/out of place after it should have been picked up -- it's "mine" (in a box in my closet) and you don't get it back until I feel like it

Leaving things in pockets means things go through the wash. That means the MONEY is all mine!!!

[Leenie]

Your not alone. I'm trying to over look things too but its not easy, especially after coming home from a long day, 11 hours later and when I walk through the door and see the mess, it really gets to me. Some days I can shut my eyes to it and some days I can't (I wanna cry).

But, I keep telling my self, I'd rather have a messy house and my family near then to have a clean house and no one to share it with.

Hang in there

[kate1970]

well done Shelby897!!!!!

I had a very stern talk wth my "baby" 2 weeks ago. He is 13 and his room was always a mess. He started getting "lippy" as we say in the uk, which is answering back etc. SO I sat him down and talked to him and he got really emotional and was really sorry and I have a different "baby" now! I told him that I did EVERYTHING for him and all I want back is respect and some help about the house whilst he is on summer holidays. He is a DIFFERENT boy now and I am so glad I took the time out to talk to him.

He is always asking me now if I need help etc. and it has really changed him (and me)!! I am so glad I talked to him (even tho I shed a few tears whilst doing so!, he is my only baby so he is MY LIFE!).

Goodluck "lifechange". Your children will always love you and you them, it just sucks sometimes that they can be such pains in the a**!!

Kate x x x x x