Well, I'm going to cut a long story short. I met an amazing guy... We've known each other a few weeks now, and well he asked me out. I accepted. However, we got into a little "disagreement" last night because of something he said. But then we ended up working it out an hour later... My biggest thing, I haven't dated or been in a relationship for quite sometime. I don't know what to say, or do... He likes me. I don't want to wreck it. He said he's not going to give up on me, and he'll fight for me.. I don't know if that's a good thing, or bad thing. I would think it's good, but who knows. He's 22, and I'm 25. I asked my friend who's been married for 30 yrs (well, she's a co-worker, lol) if he's too young to really know what he wants. She told me to go for it. I'm just scared because it's been a while since I've been in a relationship, *I* don't want to screw it up because of the small things. He doesn't seem to mind that I have a few extra pounds... He's slim. Like he just seems too good to be true. Like he's a very decent looking guy, I just don't want him to hang onto me until he finds someone better. That's my big fear. Maybe I'm just over analyzing things.. I dont know. Anyone in a similar situation? Or been with someone for a long time? Can offer me some advice on how to not screw it up with him?
You've only met him a few weeks ago. Take a deep breath, take things slow, get to know him. If he likes you, he likes YOU, so don't let the anxiety that you feel over meeting him overcome the fact that he likes you.
You just be yourself! Don't try to be anyone/anything else. What will be, will be.
Enjoy the relationship and don't be fearful about him leaving. If he truly gets to know YOU, then he will stay with you because of the connection that you have to each other.
I have lost more great guys trying to figure out "why they like me" -- instead of just enjoying the fact that they do!! It's rough, but don't overanalyize it -- enjoy yourself, but most importantly "be yourself" -- sometimes it works out, sometimes it doesn't -- but even the break ups have something to offer -- a learning experience to what you do/don't want in a mate .
Oh, I know exactly how you feel! I'm always nervous in a new relationship too, mostly because I start to believe that the person who asked me out just won't like me when I show them who I really am. I clam up and it always takes a turn for the worse. I realize my problem, but I have a hard time fixing it.
You, however, already know what you are fearing and are trying, currently, to fix it. He seems generally interested in you! And you bagged a guy younger than you! Look at you go! Sometimes you have to push the negative thoughts away and embrace the positivity coming at you. Think positive thoughts and those thoughts will echo throughout your life. If this man isn't your soul mate, than he isn't! You're just dating and only known each other for a little! And you're doing great so far, right?
Don't think too much about it, dearest! You'll be absolutely happy when you realize he likes you for YOU. And if he doesn't, he doesn't deserve a woman like you.
Remember, he's not just getting to know if you're right for him - You're getting to know if he's right for you. If you worry too much about "spoiling it," (him not liking you) you could overlook signs that he might not be right for you. Because if he doesn't like the "real" you, you don't want him - it's too hard to be someone you're not for someone else in the long term.
Don't let the "relationship" become more important than the guy himself. If you are getting "too good to be true" vibes, it may be that you aren't feeling you deserve him. Or, you might be actually getting vibes that there is something wrong about him (don't overlook this, if this is the case).
As for his age and his ability to know what he wants - there are no guarantees at any age. And it's too early for either of you to decide whether you're right for each other. You can't get past the need to take a chance, as there's never a guarantee that a relationship will develop. And you sort of have to stop looking at a relationship not working out as a failure on either part. You both could be absolutely fantastic people and not be right for each other, and EITHER of you could be the first to realize that.
I'm not counting a breakup before it's hatched, I'm just saying that it isn't a "breakup" until there's some foundation to break up, and it sounds like you haven't gotten to that point yet. It's just the "getting to know each other," phase.
Ask a lot of questions (friendly). Everyone likes to have someone interested in them - and by it you learn if this guy is for you (remember you are interviewing him for the position of boyfriend just as he is interviewing you for the position of girlfriend). It's not as formal as that, but that's what dating really is - learning enough about a person to find out if you want to continue to spend time with them - neither of you really know that yet.
If you can manage it, don't care about whether the relationship develops or not. Just concentrate on having fun with him and learning about him. Easier said than done, but in the long run it's the only way to get what you really want.
read "the rules" the book on how to successfully play how to get has been written a hundred times because it works(he's just not that into you, etc) and I think this one is the best of the bunch. I know many see it as playing games, but really the book teaches you how to be a good date/girlfriend...to be independant, not clingy, not bugging him about things that aren't your buisness, confident, and just have that put together glow that guys are drawn to.
but in a nutshell if you feel insecure and crap...keep it to yourself and fake a confident gal who dates guys better looking then him all the time. Also DON'T try too hard, let him do all the work.
Dating? Men? Scared?
Anyone in a similar situation? Or been with someone for a long time? Can offer me some advice on how to not screw it up with him?
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