Oh,
lostinit07, *I* laugh at the Staples thing! Don't apologize for laughing - it's one of the events that makes me who I am now... it isn't a painful recollection... just a childhood memory
DAMN, our childhoods were SO similar! I observed the brands the kids were into, but by the time I bought them, they were no longer cool. In 6th grade, I got picked on (or worse, beaten up) nearly every day. I told my teacher, but there was only so much he could do about it, and in hindsight, he probably thought I was the most pathetic kid ever and took insane amounts of pity on me
Most of the kids in my 6th grade class were the tough bully types (I tried too hard to fit in when I was in 5th grade and ended up doing stupid things to hurt others' feelings, which landed me in that class

) and I was too afraid to fight back. I learned self defense later and now have a black belt, though!
You know... we never got our electricity shut off, but I definitely remember being hungry. On my 9th birthday, I remember having to choose between rice, ramen noodles, or mashed potatoes. I was livid and couldn't stop crying and yelling about how everyone else had a birthday party. A week later, I did have a party with cake, ice cream, and a new bike, but I remember being a little ticked off that I didn't get this stuff ON my birthday.
It blows my mind to think I VOLUNTARILY starved myself years later!

(ironically, my family no longer had financial problems then)
It also blows my mind that kids ARE so mean, though adults can be just as bad. Thankfully, my stories all have happy endings and I haven't had to undergo any sort of verbal abuse in my adult life, BUT being in a college town, I see these rich, snobby, bratty kids making fun of those who choose to appear different, making fun of those who do not have money, and making fun of those who don't drive nice cars.
I'm sorry that you not only had to deal with abuse at school but also with alcoholic parents

I am blessed to have parents who really did try their best to take care of me and my sister. I didn't realize how blessed I was at the time, because I was too busy thinking about how everyone else seemed to hate me. It was almost as if my parents' love didn't "count" because "well, uh, they're MOM AND DAD, they can't hate me because they HAD me..."

it seems like you have also come out a strong person... and going through stuff like this (and I can only imagine it was ten times worse for you) makes us appreicate life's little blessings much more than someone who has been handed everything.

lots of hugs to you.