LOL Jay...

So, answer me this (you, too, FitinTime):

Why IS it that when people get older, they often get less outwardly expressive style wise? Do they just stop caring, or is it simply not as important, as FitinTime said? And if it is not as important, why not? Do people just find it silly when they get older, are they afraid of being perceived as hanging onto their youth and appearing washed up, or what's the deal?

I have always said punks don't grow up and that when I'm 40, I'll still have my fashion sense, but I wonder what will REALLY happen then and if I will one day begin to understand.

Yes, I remember it well, Jay!

I may look as if I blend in but usually manage some slightly different thing - like my in and out earrings or the jacket with the heart embroidered on the sleeve. A bit quirky for a nearly 70 year old.

It doesn't take much to be different in this small town where there are still lots of mauve polyester pant suits on blue haired ladies and safari suits on the men who tend towards braces AND a belt!

If you were to see me on the street, you'd think, well - nothing. I blend in as far as dress goes. We dress according to our weekend activities. DH and I are in our cowboy boots, jeans, and a nice shirt EVERY DAY (except Sunday morning). It just goes with the territory and it's an easy transition. I.e., we were out at a friends' the other day and the cattle got out. It sucks to round those things up in capris and flip-flops! Dressing the way we do lets us always be prepared. And in this ranching town, we're definitely the norm.

Inside this group, I do stand out, though. If you were to look close, you'd see that my nose was pierced. Or, if you knew us well enough, you'd know that DH and I both have tattoos and plan on having more. I've never dressed for shock value or to make a statement. (Although some would argue that from 18-20, my statement was "slut"! But every 18-20 yr old with a body tends to do that.)

I think that I stand out more by my actions and activities. Ranching folk out here tend to keep to themselves and mind their own business. I tend to write a lot for the local paper and make my opinions known. It's never in a bad way or in direct retaliation to what someone else has written, but it's my opinion nonetheless. The people of this town may not know me when they see me on the street, but they know one of my articles when it starts.

As far as everyone else. I just don't care. But don't be surprised if you're wearing an offensive t-shirt and I walk the other way, especially when I have kids. Just like it's your right to wear the shirt, it's my right to look away. I think if a lot of people took that attitude, they'd be a lot more at ease. (Especially in the "wild west", where young whippersnappers get a tongue lashing when one of the old-timers see that their shirt says whatever they feel is offensive! Those old-timers would probably be less crabby if they'd just keep their mouths shut!!)

~Kim

About 99% of the time I prefer to blend in and not be noticed. I'm very self-conscious. I think that's why I decided not to be a college professor and I'm now doing behind-the-scenes data analysis and research. I'm much happier doing this sort of work, even though teaching would theoretically offer me a flexible lifestyle. I do have some strong opinions and I greatly enjoy getting into online debates, because I can be somewhat anonymous and state things I truly believe but am too afraid to say in person. Plus, I'm much more articulate in writing.

The other 1% of the time, when I do want to stand out and be noticed, occurs when I'm drinking. Enough said.

For the most part, I admire people who like to stand out. To me, it says they're completely comfortable with who they are. I wish I could learn from them. The major exceptions are people who consistently do things to get attention, and continually engage in controversial behaviors just to get noticed. Ann Coulter comes to mind--that sort of media whore.

I never consciously try to stand out. My hair is not extravagant, my make-up is minimal. But, I do wear younger clothes than most 47 yr. olds and I do draw attention. I don't have piercings or tattoos. When I was obese, I sat in the corner and hoped I wasnt even noticed. I'm not that person anymore. I'm totally comfortable now with being seen in public .

I always attract attention, and most of the time wish I didn't. Having my arms covered in tattoos is usually what does it, but I think my dress is "normal" (not conservative per say, but your normal "business casual"). I don't seek attention, but I can't help but get it. Sometimes I will purposefully put on something long-sleeved so I don't get stopped every 5-10 minutes from someone wanting to talk to me about my tattoos.

You know I wasn't intentionally saying anything about you NightengaleShane and your look. Which I do like! I don't think there is anything wrong with how you dress. ( I just read your last post.) Because you're still young and you can get a way with it.
At the same time, I've seen ladies at my age dress beautifully who stand out. So if you're talking about standing out in any fashion, or age, it's up to the individual.

No, it's definately not that I'm personally afraid or not caring about the way I look, but at the time when I dressed the way I did, I was younger and the look at the time well, it's like it is now, wearing black, spikey, shaved, different colored hair, well at least that's how me and my friends looked like. I had some cool looking friends! LOL

But as I got older, I just didn't think it was that important to intentionally standout. I do care about how I look and dress. I wear clothes that reflect who I am Now, and I like it. It's just that other things are more important to me then trying to be noticed, such as the person who I am inside. That's what I want to be noticed and stand out.

Although, I will say this, you will never get me to wear my hair in a conventional way. If I had to say what is the one thing that would stand out, it would be my hair. The reason why I didn't say that in the first place is because it's normal to me. I have long dark wavy hair that I wear in a choppy and messy way. I like to scrunch it, and tease it to make it full. I have always worn my hair like that since I stopped with the spikey hair. Now, it's in style, like Shakira. I still wear red lipstick and I wear heels of some sort. I also big on top so, the more I've been losing the more I'm getting noticed, but I can't help that! lol
But like I said, it's normal for me.

You personally will still have a sense of fashion til you get older, but it will change and evolve into a different fashion and you will be surprised at how good you will look at 40!!! For some reason NightengaleShane, I think you're going to be making statements all your life!!!

Well. I have a very unusual configuration of body piercings. I don't know of anyone else who has this. What does that say about my courage to stand apart: I have:
one hole in each earlobe

FitinTime, awesome response. And you're right - the punk look hasn't changed much since the 80's - true punks, anyway - there are always the Hot Topic trendy punks who listen to Taking Back Sunday and Thursday (what's up with trendy bands naming themselves after days of the week, anyway?!), but they don't count to me because most of them are just overprivelaged kids who think it's all a big fad. The punk look is pretty timeless, though - spikey hair and mohawks with a potential aversion to natural colors, pins, patches, jean jackets, statement shirts, skinny ties, ripped jeans, Converse, combat boots, spikes, studded belts - it's been around since the late 70's, but I'm sure you know about that better than I do And it sounds to me like even though you no longer rock the punk look, I'm sure you are still gorgeous... and losing weight does wonders for one's confidence. I feel like a different person now that I've lost almost 30 pounds. It's nice to know that my double chin is now a thing of the past and even nicer to know that my stomach no longer swallows up my hip bones!

As for looking good at 40, only time will tell! I HOPE I will look good at 40. If looking at my mother is any indication, I'll age beautifully.

Spinymouse: LOL!!! I guess that IS surprisingly uncommon these days...

Good job on your weight loss too!!
I can concur with you there about losing weight and obviously how it makes us feel. It's must be exciting to reach your goal, I'm assuming you have. I'm getting there and cannot wait.

Oh let me tell you about my husband. What attracted me to him is because. . . he stood out ! How's that for answering your thread! LOL
He wears his hair like a stack, cut close at the sides and back and longer on top, almost like Morrissy wears his hair. That's what I liked about him and he still wears his hair like that.

From your pictures, I think you'll have no problem in the aging department!

I went from rude girl to punk rocker, to being somewhat interested in Oi! but once a rude girl always a rude girl Trad ska is still my favorite music. 7 years ago, I was all about the skirts, cute tops, checkers everywhere, lots of patches and pins. I also at one point had a completely shaved head, and at another point in time a chelsea. In my punk/Oi phase I wore my flight jacket a lot, but I don't think that made me stand out that much Now I just wear normal "work" stuff, because anything else and I would get "Oh are you going to a job interview today?" or "Big meeting?" or "What's the special occasion?" so I don't bother anymore. I do still like to get dolled up when I go out for a night on the town (like tonight!) and I STILL have my Doc Martens - boots and two-tone wingtips. Hmmm maybe I'll sport the wingtips tonight

modkittn, rude girls are awesome, though I'm more of a riot grrrl myself. No one down here even knows what a riot grrrl is, but up in DC where I'm originally from, there's plenty of 'em!

I had a chelsea cut once too, along with a full-on mohawk, liberty spikes, regular spikes, a faux hawk, a fauxmohawk (faux hawk going all the way in the back), red hair, pink hair, blue hair, a shaved head (which surprisingly did not look bad on me but I missed hair!) - you name it, I've done it.

Tattoo sleeves rock. I don't know if I'd ever get them because I don't want to regret any of it - I guess I'm a bit hesitant about things being permanently on my body. Right now, I just have one tattoo - a 4-leaf clover on my right hip, basically implying that anyone who sees below that point is "lucky". I bet you were so cute 7 years ago and I'm sure you're still cute now, even if your style has mellowed out a little bit.

FitinTime... out of curiousity, how can you tell? And I'm assuming you're implying that I have good skin, so I'm also going to say thank youuuu!

I haven't reached my goal, but I'm around ten pounds away. I've been 145-146 the last few days (current goal is 135) but I'm not changing my ticker until I'm 145-146 for one more day. I'd really like to be 125, as that was my size pre-weight gain. We'll see. I definitely do enjoy mirrors again, though! I hid from them for the year that I carried those extra pounds (not to mention I hid from people and developed crippling social anxiety that I've now finally begun to overcome).

interesting topic - when I was middle school & high school age I went through a lot of phases. Standing out became pretty important to me - I didn't want to be one of the "sheeple" ... I went from hippie phase to good girl preppy phase to goth phase all within a few years and then went back to hippie. *LOL* I had black hair, blue hair, yellow hair (not blonde, yellow), green, purple, red... I wore it long, short, super short, unkempt... I wore questionable tshirts, strange combinations of clothing (long johns under dresses or shorts, socks and sandals, whatever I felt like). I did whatever I wanted to and if somebody didn't like it I didn't care and my parents were totally supportive.

Somewhere around the same time I got fat I stopped caring about how I looked. I think they two go hand & hand...
As for your question about what happens when you get older that makes you stop wanting to stand out in your style... Well I think that when you're young you are finding yourself, testing the waters, figuring out who you are and who you want to me... and at some point when you get older and mature the inside matters more and everything just sort of falls into place.

I would say I mostly blend into the crowd vs. standing out. I don't mind standing out in a situation I am comfortable with, such as at work. I don't mind standing out in situations like "being Coach Gary" or at church, as long as the situation is just hanging around after the game or standing around in the courtyard at church or at a table discussing stuff. What I do hate is being singled out for acknowledgement or to stand in front of people to speak. I turn quite a nice shade of red.

Going through junior high and high school from 1966-72, I fit in with my crowd wearing basically 2 sets of clothes ~

#1 ~ Levis ~ colored T-shirts and denim longsleeve shirt with white Adidas shoes with the black stripes and a bandana for the LOOONG HAIR! ~ 4 inch leather watch band ~

#2 ~ Purple or YELLOW cords flaired for my boots with the side buckle ~ paisley shirts ~ a derby with LOVE beads ~ LOOONG HAIR!

Back then you could still get a little harrased for long hair, especially in this military town.

I pretty much still wear my #1 ~ my #2 style pretty much ended a few years after high school ~ I attribute most of the "design" to my friend MARY JANE ~ but that relationship went up in smoke many years ago

Here in southern California, as in I am sure most places these days, I am not shocked to see any style. Oh, maybe at first, but then it becomes the same o same o.

My parents never hassled me much, I think they would have preferred me to have shorter hair, but they always said whatever the school will allow...back then we actually had dress codes!

I have enjoyed reading about all your "styles" ~ SHANE I absolutely love your style! It is so YOU!!

but SPINY ~ Girl you are just too "out there" for me... FREAK! ...............

Well Shane, I think it's not always a lack of caring or a lack of fashion sense, although in many cases it could be either one of those, or both. In my case, it seems to be less important to "make a statement" out there in the world with my appearance. The reason is that my sense of value has more to do with who I am and what I can do than it does with what I look like. I guess I don't feel a need to outwardly try to show those things.

And, I do think that when you get to 40, some things will look quite different to you, and other things will look just the same! And it's hard to know which those will be.

Now look quick at that avatar on the right. It will be posted for about 24 hours. This is a photo of me at around 30. I think I was about to blink, but never mind.

Jay