I know you already know this, and it's easy to preach, but--

You are TOO YOUNG to be going through all of this. You don't need a man to make you a complete person, and from following your story from the beginning--the very beginning--I don't think you've realized this yet.

You have a lot of issues to work through before you bring a child into the world, and not much time to do it. I really hope you consider going to a psychologist or psychiatrist.

It is very easy to continue the cycle of abuse. You may be a wonderful mother when given the chance, but given your tendency to "hook up" with extremely abusive men, I really fear the example you will eventually set for your child. I KNOW that lots of women are able to break away from this cycle and build successful lives for themselves and their children (there are at least 2 here at 3FC that I can think of right off the bat!) and I have a mountain of respect for them.

You, however, don't seem to be at a point in your life yet in which you feel the need to change. I can't help but wonder how long it's going to be before you're posting here again about some "perfect" man that you've met, that you love, whom you trust enough to "fall asleep in his lap while he discusses his life with your mother."

You have some serious growing up to do when it comes to the opposite sex. Just because you've been sexually active for some time (unfortunately), that does not mean you were ready for it. Nor does that make you ready for it when the next man comes along. PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE REMEMBER YOUR CHILD BEFORE YOU BRING ANOTHER MAN INTO YOUR LIFE!!!! Also, PLEASE get out of the mindset that you NEED a man in your life at this time!

I won't wish you luck with your statutory rape charge and I won't badmouth the man with whom you conceived your child, because your stories about him (and all the other men) have been too conflicting for me to pass judgement on him. I will just wish you luck with figuring out your life and, eventually, being a mother.

I would also urge you to get psychological counseling. You are young and going through a lot and I think counseling could help you a lot. There are even forums that will help with psychological issues.

tweety, not to at all minimize what you are going through. You were in the hands of an older, persuasive man. But, if it were actually physical rape (versus being talked into something that you were unsure about), would you have kept putting yourself in that position on an "almost daily" basis. Just something to think about and something I'm sure that any judge in this great land is gonna consider.

I may take a real bashing for this opinion, and that's OK. This is coming from the wife of a law enforcement official. So, wanted you to know how the court is gonna look at it. It goes back to the old saying "fool me once, shame on you: fool me twice shame on me".

I am in counseling currently, and have been in for the past 2 months. I have given up on men completly because of the wrong choices i have made. I have only been with 2 bad men, before that, i never dated. As for my baby, i would NEVER do anything to harm her, and that includes me being with another abusive man. I do not need man in my life, and they are out for good. For those who even care, i am turning my life around completly. I am going to parenting classes, i've gotten into a church group, i am even volenteering down at the abused woman and childrens shelter, which is making me realize just how bad my life could have been if i had not wised up and made some better decisions. The only reason i even wanted to get my ex on the Stat. charge is because my father, a cop, told me to do so, so that way he doesn't do what he did to me, to another girl. My top priority now, and until the day i die is this baby inside me, and i will stop at nothing to make sure she doesn't make any of the same mistakes that i have in my past. I am not stupid, i have learned from my past mistakes, and i would like to move past them.

Tweetyandme -

I'd like to suggest a resource for you in dealing with the aftermath of this sexual assault (in addition to your therapy). It was a great help to me, and an incredibly supportive community.

http://www.pandys.org

It is a message board/community for sexual assault survivors, and full of wonderful men and women who you can talk to while you work on dealing with the aftermath of such a traumatic situation. There are also other mothers on the board, or those expecting babies, as sometimes sexual assault bring up different issues related to parenting (lots of mothers have fears for their girls, for example, or are uncomfortable during prenatal exams due to the trauma of the assault).

Amanda

Thank you, i viewed the site, and i am going to join.

Forgot to add - they also have a "Pursuing Legal Action" section where you might be able to get more definitive answers to your original post question.

Krissie, I'm very happy to see that you are trying to "turn your life around" and I hope and pray that it works out well for you. I'm glad you are also trying to focus on your unborn child and are recieving parenting classes. I think this is a good thing and putting your focus/drive and energy on bettering your life for you and the baby is what it's all about. (Versus revenge on the creep of an EX). Trust me when I say once the baby is here, all that other non-sense will be " just water under the bridge".

Staying away from men for a while is a good idea. When I had my DD, I didn't date not a single time for 3 yrs. By choice, I just needed and wanted to focus on myself and my kids, not a Man. It was the right decision and both my kids (now ages 15 and 21) say some of the happiest time in their lives is when it was just us 3, with no man around.

Ms. Tweety, you deserve a great big hug! You are so very brave, and will be able to overcome this because you have sought the right help to deal with this. Best of luck, and keep all of us in your support team updated!